11:11 !
MICHYEOSSO ~ NEOMU MICHYEOSSO ~ stuck in my head. i <3 direct tv. i have SBS plus ! 8D/ &star king shows on it ! YESSSSSSS. i watched kouhaku NHK on my tv yesterday ! and i saw TVXQ up close on my american tv ~ best 1 minute of my life. i don't know why, but i think i missed their performance ): i also saw koda kumi's taboo ! and exile's ti amo. mr. children's was kinda funky. but i really liked the ending where there was a whole background of people in the back of the stage singing along. (:
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OMG IT'S .. now 11:12 T__T damn it. too late. anyway, have been watching manyo yoohee <3 chegoya! han ga in is so pretty, yeah? i need a haircut. ):
i miss cynthia. and i miss grace. i miss tianna. i miss my old best friend kim. i miss everyone who actually remembers me. i miss my 3.8 gpa. i miss using the computer without sneaking at midnight until 5 am. i miss talking to jacob. i miss my old dad, the one who didn't yell at me for everything. i miss my ipod. i miss middle school. i miss my necklace. am i being too selfish? greedy? what am i doing wrong for things to go wrong? i can't even take a step outside my own home. i can't talk to my friends at school. i'm not allowed to take a glance at any computer, or else it'll be burned down. i can't gather courage to say anything to my stepmum or my dad. i don't even have the guts to talk to grace. am i that much of a sissy? a crybaby? a coward !
while driving to a new years party near san francisco, my stepmum started to angrily discuss my grades and my C's on the way. and a day before new years! before a new year, new start. how am i supposed to change myself? for her? hell no. that bitch can die. all she wants is for me to be excellent in everything, not average/normal, so she can feel great. to feel proud of herself, raising a great child like me. the one that's smart and everything. so if i didn't do so well, or i flunked, would you just dump me out to the streets? like you said, i could work at mcdonalds and you wouldn't care if i didn't want to continue school. you'd un-enroll me so i wouldn't have to waste my time. well you know what? i don't want to see you either. so there you go. have fun with your life, witch. you don't even tell my dad things he should know, when you always yell your fucking brains and guts at me about telling the truth about everything to you. who the hell do you think you are. i'm my own person with my own mind. you can't tell me what to do; i won't listen to you. i'm too sentimental ): save me.
i still have romantic in my heart <3 KEY TO MY HEART, LOL.