Stand By Me Chapter 1, Hikaru/Akira
Previously
The death of Touya Kouyou was a great shock to the Go world. No one had expected it or had seen it coming. How could the great Touya Mejin be dead? It was impossible. The man who had been possibly the greatest go player of their time was dead.
Dead.
The day after the accident, all games at the Go Institute were immediately called off. No one had the spirit to play, not after knowing his or her idol or mentor had died in a car crash. The unanimous decision was to shut down the Go Institute until the funeral was over.
During this time, every go player in Japan wore the dark colour of mourning. They didn’t socialize and barely spoke; if they did, it was to praise the late Mejin. It didn’t just affect those who had directly known Kouyou but every single fan as well. Anyone who was a fan of go had become a fan of his. The sounds of cries and sadness could be heard throughout the older generation of Japan.
The loss of Touya Kouyou was that great.
Imagine that.
Now imagine what you would do if it was not only the loss of your role model and teacher but your father as well.
---
The early spring breeze blew his fine silky hair in front of dark emerald eyes but he did nothing to push it back. Instead he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the winds blowing back and forth around him. A light swish of coats adjusting could be heard accompanying the sound of soft cries.
Akira tried to take a deep breath but it caught tightly in his throat. He could almost feel his mother’s tears as they fell down her cheeks. Sadness was something that never became her before but now; it was all that was next to him. Gathering strength, Akira slowly slipped his cold slender hand into his mother's and gripped it tightly. Opening his eyes, he looked down to the small figure that was his mother to see gentle, teary eyes look back up at him.
"Akira-kun…"
He gave a small squeeze to his mother’s hand. "I’ll take care of you now Okaasan," he whispered to her softly.
A shaky smile flitted across her face before she turned away. "Your father…" she whispered ever so quietly before returning Akira’s squeeze.
Akira finally looked towards the grave again as his mother gently laid her head against his shoulder.
---
Hikaru sighed once more as he sat in Akira’s house sipping tea. There were people all around him but he couldn’t hear a thing. All that was on his mind were questions. Questions that needed answering.
Why was this happening?
Of all people, why Touya?
And what could he do to for his friend?
Hikaru raised the cup of tea to his lips once again, deep in thought. It's unfair, he thought to himself.
"Shindou," said Saeki, interrupting his train of thought.
Hikaru looked up to see his friend join him on the couch. "Saeki-san."
"It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?"
Hikaru nodded. "It still doesn’t seem real. You know what I mean?"
Saeki didn’t say a word but they were both in agreement as the same question was running through their minds, how could Touya Koyou be gone? Hikaru gazed around the room.
"This is a great loss to the go world," whispered one go player to another.
"I looked up to him so much… it’s so hard to believe he’s gone," cried another. There wasn’t a single person in the room who wasn’t distraught.
As Hikaru’s eyes continued to wander, they finally fell on Akira, who was surrounded by a group of worried faces.
"Don’t worry Akira-kun, we’re all here to help you."
"Don’t hesitate to talk to us."
"We’re here for you." Hikaru watched as Akira nodded with a placid face to those trying to comfort him.
"Thank you. I will be fine," he said in an emotionless voice--only Hikaru saw the slight clenching of Akira’s hands.
Touya… thought Hikaru, there must be something I can do. I want to help you in someway… but how? Hikaru turned away to stare into his teacup, hoping the solution would come to him. That day at the hospital he saw an emotion he never knew Akira could show. The only Akira he knew was angry, competitive, mature and strong.
The Akira he saw that day wasn’t strong. He wasn’t weak either but there was a need for comfort in the way Akira had clung to him as the tears fell angrily down his cheeks. Akira wasn’t meant to know or feel such sadness. Even just thinking of the memory made Hikaru want to somehow embrace the other. He didn’t know why but he just wanted to make the hurt in Akira’s eyes fade away.
I have to be there for him, thought Hikaru, I can’t let him go through what I went through when I lost Sai. The teacup was placed onto the table as Hikaru stood up.
"Shindou?" said Saeki, looking at the boy. Hikaru turned back to him,
"I have to go do something," he said quietly. I have to let him know I’m here for him, he thought as he looked across the room and began walking.
But Akira was already gone.
---
He was the last person Isumi Shinichirou expected to see. It was only a day after the funeral but there, standing in the flesh, was Touya Akira. Isumi’s eyes widened in shock as he watched the 5-dan step into the room---everyone knew that Akira had been excused. Everyone knew that the Go Institute had insisted on giving the seventeen year old a couple of days off to recover from the loss. Everyone knew that Touya Akira would be at home mourning.
But no, there he was, sitting down at a goban, waiting for his opponent to nigiri. How, thought Isumi, how can he possibly sit at a goban right now. Wouldn’t it just remind him of his father?
The older boy looked towards Akira who appeared deeply concentrated on his game. His face showed only focus---no sign of his loss was apparent---and his dark eyes were fiercer than before.
He’s stronger than I thought, Isumi said to himself before turning away to concentrate on his own game.
---
Everyone wanted to learn about go from Akira. Everyone wanted to be taught by him.
But no one wanted to ask him. It was wrong, they argued, he just lost his father!
"I’m fine," Akira insisted as he spoke to one of his regular students over the phone, "I’m a professional. Whatever happens in my personal life does not affect my work life."
"Touya-kun, for your health, I think you should take some time off," replied Miyashita, an elderly man with a deep passion for Go.
"Miyashita-san, please trust me on this. I am fine. Is the usual time alright with you?"
"Yes… but-"
"Thank you for your concern but it is unnecessary. I will see you at the go salon. Goodbye." Akira hung up the phone before the man could further protest and sighed. He couldn’t understand why people kept on refusing to let him work. He had to work.
He needed to work.
Akira took another glance at his watch; it was almost time for his next appointment. If he had scheduled the tutor lesson another fifteen minutes earlier, he would have been late. His last lesson had gone a bit longer than expected but luckily he went straight from lesson to lesson.
After this, Akira had a game. It was straight from one thing to another without rest.
He needed to keep busy.
If only everyone could understand that.
---
The Touya Kouyou that sat in front of a goban day after day was not the man that Touya Akiko knew. The man that she knew had been a caring, loving man and a wonderful husband. When people told her they ‘felt for her loss’, they really had no idea. To them, they had lost a Go figure, someone who had been a great and well respected player. To Akiko, she had lost her companion and lover, and nothing else could compare.
She sighed, put down her shovel and looked at the newly planted garden. If there was one thing that Akira inherited from his mother, it was the need to keep busy when something was wrong. Right now, both of them were distressed but neither wanted to admit it.
Akira and his mother believed they needed to be strong for the each other and continued to stubbornly keep all their feelings inside.
Akiko looked into the dimming sky and wondered when her son would come home. It had been almost a week since the accident and since then, Akira hadn’t skipped a beat. The only time she saw him was early in the morning or late at night. She had tried many times to say something, but Akiko knew it was no use. Her son, like her late husband, could at times be very unreasonable.
Akira thought his mother was fragile, that she needed to be taken care of. If only he knew it was his mother that had kept their family together for all these years. But that was before---there was only the two of them now. Though she would never admit aloud, Akiko felt more tired than she had in years. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get through to her son but maybe someone else could.
There was only one person that Akiko thought Akira might listen to.
And as if by fate, the phone began to ring.
Akiko ran into her house to pick up the phone.
"Hello," she answered.
"Ah, Touya-san sorry for bothering you but I was wondering if-"
"Shindou-kun? Are you looking for Akira-kun?"
"Ah, yes. Is he at home? I was hoping to talk to him…"
Akiko smiled, relived to hear the concern in Hikaru’s voice; he was a true friend to her son. "No, he’s not in at the moment. Have you tried his cell phone?"
"I have. Many times. He’s not answering."
Akiko slightly frowned, don’t tell me he’s avoiding his friends as well. "I see." She paused. "Shindou-kun?"
"Yes?"
There was something about this boy, she knew he could help Akira. And if her husband were there, she knew he’d agree as well. "Akira… if you could just talk to him perhaps. Maybe take him out to lunch or something, make him laugh-" her voice was quiet over the phone.
"I know," came Hikaru’s firm reply.
His quick response and sure almost surprised her, it was as if he knew what she had been going to say. "I want to help him, but I’m not the right person for him right now," she explained, "He won’t listen to me. Please, just talk to him."
"Of course I will. Akira's important to me." Another immediate reply.
Akiko’s heart lifted. How she wanted to be as strong as this boy. It was as if he knew what they were going through. Akiko let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding; she knew she had made the right choice.
"Take good care of him."
---
He couldn’t think of his father’s death. If he did, Akira wasn’t sure what emotions would evoke. Akira clenched his fists tightly as his headache began to throb more and more. Akira was strong. He knew it and couldn’t let himself---especially his go---be affected by his father’s death. He had to continue and become the greatest go player. He had to be strong. Just a little bit more, he told himself trying to steady his face.
"A-Akira-kun? Are you alright?"
Akira nodded quickly and gave a weak smile. "I’m fine Himiko-san. Please continue," replied Akira as calmly as he could while gesturing to the goban.
The elderly woman nodded but her worried expression didn’t leave her face. "If you insist Akira-kun."
As the game of shidogo continued, Akira only became dizzier and dizzier. He had been working himself non-stop, trying to keep his mind off certain matters. If he were concentrating on a game of go or teaching someone, then his father’s death wouldn’t be able to bother him right?
Instead, the game only made him think of his father more. Akira had tried so hard to not think of his father but go only reminded him of the late mejin. His hands began to tremble as he placed the next stone buthe didn’t even notice.
"Akira-kun!" cried out a voice but Akira could barely hear it above his blinding headache.
What can I do, his mind was screaming to himself, what can I do…
And then there was darkness.
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