(no subject)
umm, these past few weeks have been kind of busy.
so prom was last week I think, and the ap test. or the week before? the week before. anyway it was a good time. after prom was the best, there was so much free stuff, and I human bowled and jousted a bunch of times. and kareoked. the ap test was a big relief no matter how I did on it because it's over.
I realize that I hardly ever talk about anything that really matters to me on this. big chunks of my life just get kind of glossed over. because I talk about all of that stuff in my real journal, anyway. and I don't really want people to know everything about me. but sometimes I get in one of those open moods that I regret later. I used to be much more open with this.
livejournal is a very tricky thing.
so last week it was beautiful out so I went to cushman park.
and I haven't really been trying in school at all. every study I go to the second floor of the library, and sit on one of those comfortable chairs, and look out the window and think about how much I wish high school was over. there are a million things I don't like about it. some things I do. but there's this weird thing where the second I go there I start comparing myself to everyone else, and I start feeling like I don't measure up, for whatever reason. and it makes me really insecure. but then I leave and go home or go out or go to work and I'm fine.
and for the first time ever I don't know what I want to do with my life. or what matters. I don't know what matters anymore. but I decided after college I'm joining the peace corps. like, really decided, which is a big deal for me because I have the worst time making decisions. I am going to go to college, nd then join the peace corps and after that I'll figure something out. that gives me a good ten years to think.
but other than that, I'm happy. I love my friends. and summer's coming soon, and relay for life, and I have a feeling things will be great.
so goodnight.
so prom was last week I think, and the ap test. or the week before? the week before. anyway it was a good time. after prom was the best, there was so much free stuff, and I human bowled and jousted a bunch of times. and kareoked. the ap test was a big relief no matter how I did on it because it's over.
I realize that I hardly ever talk about anything that really matters to me on this. big chunks of my life just get kind of glossed over. because I talk about all of that stuff in my real journal, anyway. and I don't really want people to know everything about me. but sometimes I get in one of those open moods that I regret later. I used to be much more open with this.
livejournal is a very tricky thing.
so last week it was beautiful out so I went to cushman park.
and I haven't really been trying in school at all. every study I go to the second floor of the library, and sit on one of those comfortable chairs, and look out the window and think about how much I wish high school was over. there are a million things I don't like about it. some things I do. but there's this weird thing where the second I go there I start comparing myself to everyone else, and I start feeling like I don't measure up, for whatever reason. and it makes me really insecure. but then I leave and go home or go out or go to work and I'm fine.
and for the first time ever I don't know what I want to do with my life. or what matters. I don't know what matters anymore. but I decided after college I'm joining the peace corps. like, really decided, which is a big deal for me because I have the worst time making decisions. I am going to go to college, nd then join the peace corps and after that I'll figure something out. that gives me a good ten years to think.
but other than that, I'm happy. I love my friends. and summer's coming soon, and relay for life, and I have a feeling things will be great.
so goodnight.