(no subject)

Oct 21, 2008 23:49

i miss adrian.
fuck my life.

i miss him more than anything else
and i fucking killed what we had
haaa how dramatic, but it's true.

i miss him in the morning
and all during the day
and all fucking night.

every time some stupid or silly little thing happens
i want to text him or call him and tell him about it
but god knows he doesn't want to hear from me
so i restrain myself.

and all i do is sit around talking about him and how it used to be
and the things we used to do for each other
and why we were a better couple than whoever i'm talking to
and then it just makes me think of even more things
and how perfect everything was
and how i obviously just wasn't thinking
and how i had to have been out of my mind...

and i don't know why i'm pretending to move on
and act like i'm fine cause i'm really not
no one and nothing will ever ever take his place
and i don't want him to move on :(
he can'tttttttt :/

and i messed up. i messed up so ugly
and i can admit that
and i feel like i need to reason with him
but he won't listen
he has no reason to i guess
he won't take me back
and i don't deserve for him to
but wowww..........
i've really never fucked up like this.

and i'm just ranting and rambling now
because i've had the hardest time thinking straight lately.
school and work keeps me busy but not busy enough i guess.
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