i really don't know life at all
it's my last night in the dc house--a house i only call home with mom and dad inside. it's my last night and i can't sleep. 4.5 hours i have to wake up to drive 9 hours. i'm just
lost.
this semester was hard.
i'm so sad right now.
you know, i used to call whatever house with mom, dad, cole, and casey a home. but that's changed now, hasn't it? that's changed.
you all know how well i deal with change.
i'm glad they're doing what they want to do. i'm glad it's london. but mom and i feel so lost. we feel so lost. and i hate that i won't be there to help her through this. she's a big girl, you say. i know. but we still feel lost when we grow up, right?
i thought so.
it's funny how we go along in life with different things, objects, songs, smells standing for certain memories. what if you use those objects over for something. is it just as good? is it just as meaningful? or do you feel used? old? ancient? second-hand? can i remember the last time i used this song for some other memory? yeah. does that change the meaning of the song for me?
i don't know.
it's just too complicated.
but now old friends are acting strange. they shake their heads, they say i've changed. well something's lost, but something's gained in living everyday. i've looked at life from both sides now. from win and lose and still somehow
it's life's
illusions
i recall.
i really don't know life at all.
lost.
this semester was hard.
i'm so sad right now.
you know, i used to call whatever house with mom, dad, cole, and casey a home. but that's changed now, hasn't it? that's changed.
you all know how well i deal with change.
i'm glad they're doing what they want to do. i'm glad it's london. but mom and i feel so lost. we feel so lost. and i hate that i won't be there to help her through this. she's a big girl, you say. i know. but we still feel lost when we grow up, right?
i thought so.
it's funny how we go along in life with different things, objects, songs, smells standing for certain memories. what if you use those objects over for something. is it just as good? is it just as meaningful? or do you feel used? old? ancient? second-hand? can i remember the last time i used this song for some other memory? yeah. does that change the meaning of the song for me?
i don't know.
it's just too complicated.
but now old friends are acting strange. they shake their heads, they say i've changed. well something's lost, but something's gained in living everyday. i've looked at life from both sides now. from win and lose and still somehow
it's life's
illusions
i recall.
i really don't know life at all.