Jul 27, 2004 21:57
I officially resigned from my current job LAST Tuesday, yet I'm still tasting grit with my nose jammed into the grindstone. Can I just say that I don't think I have ever been less motivated? Every time I think about blazing through the rest of this shit with lightning speed and getting the hell out, I get sleepy. And so I sleep. I have slept more in the past week than I ever have in my life.
I wanted to walk in with the final portions of my pieces of this big project, lay them on the project manager's desk, and wish her a happy life, but when I got home, I watched the news, did some online shopping for some wallpaper (if I can't have that log cabin in the woods with a stone fireplace, then I'm gonna create the illusion of it with the right wallpaper--log beams, barnboard, stone walls, etc.), and the next thing you know, it's 9:00 p.m. I made a cup of coffee, thinking I'd just stay up all night and drive in with the project in the morning, but here I am, bummed there aren't more posts for me to read and writing meaningless, trivial dribble about stone wallpaper.
I normally have enormous reserves, especially with the proverbial light flashing at the all-too-close end of the tunnel. But damn, I'm beginning to wonder if it's a train heading my way! I COULD stay up all night (or even work a regular day tomorrow) and have this whole thing done, but ... I'm sleepy, despite my third quadruple latte since I got home from work! (I'm up to a pound of coffee a week ... I think i have a problem ... my piss is dark brown, and my shit looks like a giant coffee bean--and I know you WANTED that image).
All I want to do is refocus ... refocus on the next job--this exciting, incredible, challenging, and immensely rewarding return to exactly where I belong.