This is as good as "Who's on first?"
Okay, let me get this straight now.
Do I understand that you want me to make a recording of a live demonstration using a software that runs only on a PC, but I only have a Mac, and you don't have a PC for me to use ... and we haven't licensed the software you want me to use anyway?
And you need this by last Friday? But you'll give me until this Friday, but you're sending me out of the office for the rest of the week on other (but related) business? And you're having a conference call with me tomorrow afternoon to iron out exactly what you want in this presentation (that was due last week), but you're not going to have that call until tomorrow (when I'm on a plane)?
And oh, you might also need this recorded live demo translated and revoiced into Portuguese and Spanish too? But you won't know until Friday (this Friday, not last Friday when it was due)? And I'll be in New York City?
Oh, but you have a Portuguese voicer who can do it, but she's leaving for Costa Rica on Friday (not last Friday, but this Friday, the same day you're going to decide if you even need it in Portuguese)?
But all is good, you say, you're in good hands (those being MY hands ... yup, yours truly ... I was told once I had a fine, fine ass, but hands?). So you give me a link to a competitor's demo and you tell me to copy it without making it look like I'm copying it and also make it better? Um, I guess it doesn't matter that the video I'm supposed to watch is in Portuguese and I don't know Portuguese?
So I'm supposed to translate a video from Portugues into English, copy it, and translate it back ... um, can I just change the name at the top?
So seriously, I'm trying to get this straight. I'm supposed to watch a video I can't see, on a computer I don't have, in a language that I don't know, copy it without looking like I'm copying it, translate it and revoice it into two languages that I don't know or speak, record it using a software that we don't have, and have it done by last Friday?
NO PROBLEM! See, I work for the world's best language learning software. You too can learn two languages over the weekend AND turn back time while you do it!
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds utterly, utterly fucked? Is there anyone who has any doubts left about how I might have gotten "a little" depressed lately?