Pee Shy

Mar 26, 2013 11:57

TMI: I have to take a drug test today. I've taken them before, and I always hate them. I'm pee shy. That means I can't pee when I know someone else is in the room with me. I'm not sure how I got this condition. It's just something I have always had. Public restrooms are nightmares for me. I can use some, but it has to be almost empty, and stalls have to be available. Anyway, I have to pee in a cup, with no water running, and no flushing the toilet after, knowing a woman (or I guess they could give me a man this time) is standing outside the door waiting to collect this disgusting sample. I'm going to have trouble going, and when I finally am able to go, I'm going to have to go too much, which means I'll have to use the toilet I can't flush, and someone will have to inspect it later.

It's so weird because I have no problem being naked in front of others (a doctor or otherwise), or even having sex for that matter, but I have a problem peeing in front of people. I'll get through it like I always do, but it's nerve wracking. My plan is to drink a lot of water in about an hour, and go at 3:00 when I know I'll have to pee, and then I won't care who is listening or watching. That plan only backfired on me once when they couldn't take me right away, and I had to wait in the lobby, having to pee really badly.

I have two more days of vacation after today, and I'm dreading going back. I think that I'm spending my vacation thinking about how much time I have left before I have to go back to work, and how much I really, really don't want to go back is evidence I am ready to move on. I am putting my notice in when I get back Friday, and will work two more weeks. Acosta has me starting online training and orientation on the 8th, when I'll still be working my notice, and starting in stores on the 15th, after my notice. They have been really cool about my needs in this transition.

I'm nervous about giving the notice, too. I think I'm just going to say my heart is no longer in this, and when I can't give 100% of myself, I need to move on cause it's the right thing to do. I will draft a letter to send to my DM and Human Resources on my last day with all of the issues I had, and things I think they should improve on to better working conditions for their employees. I don't plan to get into those things during my last two weeks of work because that would be uncomfortable for me, and they may decide to cut me before I'm ready to go (which is not a terribly bad thing, as Acosta wants to start me ASAP and are just holding off for me).

Number 8 in my Final Fantasy theme countdown is...

Someday the Dream Will End from Final Fantasy X, my favorite Final Fantasy game.

image Click to view



This is one of two songs on my list that Distant Worlds has not performed, so I don't have one of their tracks, sorry. This theme is too good to pass up, though. It's beautiful, and ethereal, and it brings back so many memories.

Speaking of which, who is excited for the PS Vita/PS3 remake?! I hear they are including FFX-2 in the package now.

This entry was crossposted from my Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment here or there.

video game: final fantasy x, music: final fantasy, personal: body, life: work

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