Life, Revealed
Damn it, why does life have to be so fucking difficult? everything was fine, then it all dropped out from under me. I'm tired of all this bullshit. I've finally come to understand and admit my problem and how i feel, but what good will it do? here's my hypothesis:
Humans are social creatures.
Society changes, therefore humans change.
It is better for a human to change for himself rather than for society.
If a human leaves society due to his change, then he must accept it or change again.
If a human is forced out of society due to his change, that is just wrong.
That's me, forced out of society because I'm different. I actually believe in all that bullshit of honor and rightness and integrity...what a load of shit that got me.
I've come to the conclusion:
That there is no right or wrong in life,
Nor is there a grey area.
There is no honor, there is no integrity, there is no respect; there is only the mob.
Either you are part of a group, or you're an enemy of that group.
I've been forced from every group I've ever come to known.
According to the society I live in, I'm not a nobody, I'm worse than a nobody,
I'm someone who shouldn't be.
Life for me is all shadows, life is bleak, life is ugly.
Rules are in place so that other people can make my life a living hell when I follow them.
I've known nothing but solitude, rejection, hatred...I've never been respected, looked up to, envied, befriended, or loved.
I've been part of a group, but then subsequently forced out.
I'm not even a Loner because I'm not there by choice, society has put me there.
I've kept these feelings hidden deep within a part of me I never want to see, I know that part of me, the Id of psycology, the animal in the man, the insticnts in the intellect, and I'm afriad of it. Not for myself, but for others. My reflexes are worse than my plans, because my reflexes are simple, honed to a fine edge, with clear goals...that part of me is Evil...and I must live with that, but it just gets larger and larger and harder to control. No one else has ever seen this part of me, nor do they think it's in me, but it is...and if it ever came out to the surface...
I've never been good at sharing my feelings, because I fear no one could or would understand me...but I've dealt with that. I've dealt with rejection by groups, because I've always believed in the greater society, that smaller societies can help, but matter not in the long run. That ideal has always been flawed, but now it has been shattered, revealing all.
Society doesn't care if you're right, if you're honost, if you're honorable, it doesn't care about the good guys, nor the bad guys...it hates those who go against it, but secretly praises them while at the same time thriving on those who go along with it.
They say you can't choose to be a hero, that you can't choose whether to make a difference or not in the grand scheme of things. I'm going to prove them wrong. I've seen the monster that is society, a monster that we've created, and I'll expose it for what it is to all, I'll show its soft underbelly and rip out it's intestines. This is what I've decided...I've been driven from this society, torn away from what I thought was true. It's time for change...I'll shake the very foundations of society, I'll rip through the false security that the groups that have cast me aside feel, I'll shred the very essence of our society, then I'll thrown it down and trample it underfoot. This society of ours isn't worth saving, it isn't worth fixing, it isn't even worth destroying then rebuilding. It must be eliminated, then a new society built, one that will never work for its own good, but for the good of it's members, and all will be included. It will never cast anyone aside, because all can guide each other into a future that everyone can be proud of. We will break free of this downward spiral that we find ourselves in, bickering over the same bits and pieces like dogs over scraps. This must stop. Change has had its chance, now creation must take over. All that must be changed will be destroyed, then made anew.
This is my calling...this is my choice...
...I have chosen my path...
...Have you?
Humans are social creatures.
Society changes, therefore humans change.
It is better for a human to change for himself rather than for society.
If a human leaves society due to his change, then he must accept it or change again.
If a human is forced out of society due to his change, that is just wrong.
That's me, forced out of society because I'm different. I actually believe in all that bullshit of honor and rightness and integrity...what a load of shit that got me.
I've come to the conclusion:
That there is no right or wrong in life,
Nor is there a grey area.
There is no honor, there is no integrity, there is no respect; there is only the mob.
Either you are part of a group, or you're an enemy of that group.
I've been forced from every group I've ever come to known.
According to the society I live in, I'm not a nobody, I'm worse than a nobody,
I'm someone who shouldn't be.
Life for me is all shadows, life is bleak, life is ugly.
Rules are in place so that other people can make my life a living hell when I follow them.
I've known nothing but solitude, rejection, hatred...I've never been respected, looked up to, envied, befriended, or loved.
I've been part of a group, but then subsequently forced out.
I'm not even a Loner because I'm not there by choice, society has put me there.
I've kept these feelings hidden deep within a part of me I never want to see, I know that part of me, the Id of psycology, the animal in the man, the insticnts in the intellect, and I'm afriad of it. Not for myself, but for others. My reflexes are worse than my plans, because my reflexes are simple, honed to a fine edge, with clear goals...that part of me is Evil...and I must live with that, but it just gets larger and larger and harder to control. No one else has ever seen this part of me, nor do they think it's in me, but it is...and if it ever came out to the surface...
I've never been good at sharing my feelings, because I fear no one could or would understand me...but I've dealt with that. I've dealt with rejection by groups, because I've always believed in the greater society, that smaller societies can help, but matter not in the long run. That ideal has always been flawed, but now it has been shattered, revealing all.
Society doesn't care if you're right, if you're honost, if you're honorable, it doesn't care about the good guys, nor the bad guys...it hates those who go against it, but secretly praises them while at the same time thriving on those who go along with it.
They say you can't choose to be a hero, that you can't choose whether to make a difference or not in the grand scheme of things. I'm going to prove them wrong. I've seen the monster that is society, a monster that we've created, and I'll expose it for what it is to all, I'll show its soft underbelly and rip out it's intestines. This is what I've decided...I've been driven from this society, torn away from what I thought was true. It's time for change...I'll shake the very foundations of society, I'll rip through the false security that the groups that have cast me aside feel, I'll shred the very essence of our society, then I'll thrown it down and trample it underfoot. This society of ours isn't worth saving, it isn't worth fixing, it isn't even worth destroying then rebuilding. It must be eliminated, then a new society built, one that will never work for its own good, but for the good of it's members, and all will be included. It will never cast anyone aside, because all can guide each other into a future that everyone can be proud of. We will break free of this downward spiral that we find ourselves in, bickering over the same bits and pieces like dogs over scraps. This must stop. Change has had its chance, now creation must take over. All that must be changed will be destroyed, then made anew.
This is my calling...this is my choice...
...I have chosen my path...
...Have you?