(no subject)
I am slightly upset right now, for two connected reasons.
The first is that I did not make witness in mock trial, and Adam did. I am aware this is rather shallow, but it's really not just that. Okay, when I was done auditioning, they were telling me how I was really good, and I'd probably make it. Then when Adam auditions, he tells me afterward that Stephanie was saying all about "the freshman girl who tried out yesterday" and how she was really good. Now, of course, only two people auditioned the day before Adam, one being me and the other a junior guy.
So then today announced that they'd be putting up the list for mock trial after lunch, and Adam was being all, "Oh, I'm not gonna really get it, but Kelcey and Gaia will!" So after second lunch, we had finished with Human Geography, and someone came running by saying, "Adam! You're an understudy!" I was just thinking, oh good for him. How'd I do? right? So I quickly glance at the list on my way into English, but I don't spend enough time to see where my name was. (Though, I swear I saw McBride, even if it was just my blurry eyesight.) I go into class, and Adam asked what I got, and I told him I didn't know, so he went out there himself. And came back in saying I wasn't on the list. Well, slight feeling of dread there.
I go through English a little apprehensive (Gordo...) about this, but Erin and Loreto manage to convince me that there was some mistake, or that maybe they wanted me as a lawyer instead.I forget about ita little, we play Heads Up, Seven Up at the end of class, then head over to Science and we take a test. Fine. But then we went and changed for Gym, and I hear Gaia saying something about how she didn't get witness, which I thought was weird, because she is good and is definitely better than Adam. So we go into to Gym and I'm okay for a while. Until we start talking about mock trial, at which point I break down crying. Eventually, Gaia goes and talks to one of the mock trial people to try and find out why we didn't make it. Apparently, she, some other girl, and I all got the same score, so none of us made it. What?! I still don't get it at all! Was it a good scoreor a bad score? And why coudn't we all be understudies or something if they couldn't choose between us? Aren't you going to need more than just Loreto and Adam? But, so apparently, Gaia, the other girl, and I can all go to the meetings and stuff as, like, under-under-understudies. I is not happy.
Which leads me to the second unhappy reason. It is taking me way too bloody long to stop crying. I started at probably 3, since that's around when Gym began, and I'm still crying at 4:40. That shouldn't happen! I've had a few breaks when I've controlle it enough, but really, that's a lot of crying! I used up two paper towels just at school, and now my blanket is serving its time as a giant tissue. And the thing is, I've figured out that I'm not actually even THAT upset about this. I was at first, but I've calmed down quite a bit (hard to believe after reading above, huh?" and now I'm crying as some type of physical reaction. Once I start crying, it is extremely hard for me to stop. I get a headache and usually the hiccups, though thankfully not today, as it's bad enough when everyone who sees me asking, "Oh, Kelcey! What's wrong!" and adding hiccups would just be so much worse.
Gaia, or maybe it was Loreto, says that the whole crying thing was because I am "flooding with emotion," and then they said something about how I would be much better at mock trial than Loreto because she is, in her own words, "an emotional black hole."
Loreto is insanely good at cheering me up, though. Torchwood team, zumba-ing. Brilliant. Would have worked better if we didn't decide that continuous mental pictures of such would inevitably lead to nightmares.
The first is that I did not make witness in mock trial, and Adam did. I am aware this is rather shallow, but it's really not just that. Okay, when I was done auditioning, they were telling me how I was really good, and I'd probably make it. Then when Adam auditions, he tells me afterward that Stephanie was saying all about "the freshman girl who tried out yesterday" and how she was really good. Now, of course, only two people auditioned the day before Adam, one being me and the other a junior guy.
So then today announced that they'd be putting up the list for mock trial after lunch, and Adam was being all, "Oh, I'm not gonna really get it, but Kelcey and Gaia will!" So after second lunch, we had finished with Human Geography, and someone came running by saying, "Adam! You're an understudy!" I was just thinking, oh good for him. How'd I do? right? So I quickly glance at the list on my way into English, but I don't spend enough time to see where my name was. (Though, I swear I saw McBride, even if it was just my blurry eyesight.) I go into class, and Adam asked what I got, and I told him I didn't know, so he went out there himself. And came back in saying I wasn't on the list. Well, slight feeling of dread there.
I go through English a little apprehensive (Gordo...) about this, but Erin and Loreto manage to convince me that there was some mistake, or that maybe they wanted me as a lawyer instead.I forget about ita little, we play Heads Up, Seven Up at the end of class, then head over to Science and we take a test. Fine. But then we went and changed for Gym, and I hear Gaia saying something about how she didn't get witness, which I thought was weird, because she is good and is definitely better than Adam. So we go into to Gym and I'm okay for a while. Until we start talking about mock trial, at which point I break down crying. Eventually, Gaia goes and talks to one of the mock trial people to try and find out why we didn't make it. Apparently, she, some other girl, and I all got the same score, so none of us made it. What?! I still don't get it at all! Was it a good scoreor a bad score? And why coudn't we all be understudies or something if they couldn't choose between us? Aren't you going to need more than just Loreto and Adam? But, so apparently, Gaia, the other girl, and I can all go to the meetings and stuff as, like, under-under-understudies. I is not happy.
Which leads me to the second unhappy reason. It is taking me way too bloody long to stop crying. I started at probably 3, since that's around when Gym began, and I'm still crying at 4:40. That shouldn't happen! I've had a few breaks when I've controlle it enough, but really, that's a lot of crying! I used up two paper towels just at school, and now my blanket is serving its time as a giant tissue. And the thing is, I've figured out that I'm not actually even THAT upset about this. I was at first, but I've calmed down quite a bit (hard to believe after reading above, huh?" and now I'm crying as some type of physical reaction. Once I start crying, it is extremely hard for me to stop. I get a headache and usually the hiccups, though thankfully not today, as it's bad enough when everyone who sees me asking, "Oh, Kelcey! What's wrong!" and adding hiccups would just be so much worse.
Gaia, or maybe it was Loreto, says that the whole crying thing was because I am "flooding with emotion," and then they said something about how I would be much better at mock trial than Loreto because she is, in her own words, "an emotional black hole."
Loreto is insanely good at cheering me up, though. Torchwood team, zumba-ing. Brilliant. Would have worked better if we didn't decide that continuous mental pictures of such would inevitably lead to nightmares.