A part of you forever...
About off to bed, methinks I am but a wee tired from the day. Fortunately, I found myself with enough time on my empty hands to work on my collages and tore apart most of my magazines and started laying out a new one, something I havn't done in forever. Face isn't making the situation easy, but its nice even just to lay things out and think about them for a while. I'm pining but its alright, I'm more tired than anything. Tomorrow, I definetly need to get my driver's license because silly me lost it somewhere in the world. I had hoped it was in Brandon's couch but Peter/John is looking more the culprit then anyone. Se la vi. I'm not excited about waking up early and heading down to the DMV but it would be nice to walk around hillcrest a bit. Jude finally called me today and I'm going to rendevous with him before my spanish class tomorrow to pick up my first batch of eassys. Luckily, that mean's some mode of income is coming may way, the second load is soon approaching.
I'm having issues with my perception again, not being comfortable with the way I see things through these brown eyes. Not that they're bad or unhappy, I'm a peculiar breed of content nowadays, but my eyes have been acting up again for a few seconds a day. New glasses and new contacts should help a little and then I'm supposed to make another appointment with my optomotrist to examine my eyes further and see if their what is causing my headaches.
I miss having girlfriends. It'll be great to see Alex in a few days time but she'll be so consumed with Brenna when she comes that our girly banter will have to be put on hold. I'm sure she wont be one for talking once the little one begins to take on the world. If Brenna will be anything like Alex, we need to hold on because there is no way to hold her back. An Audrey butt would be a great gift too but sadness shes going to New York and lame-o may not see me until Thanksgiving, if, she is still coming out for thanksgiving anyways. Still havn't heard from Gioia since her birthday anouncement and I'm almost tempted to march over to Hillcrest and be like, woman, what is up with you. But she'll come around when everything dies down for her. Lifes tough being a grown up.
I can honestly say that things are much better now, and I had one of those moments earlier where I realized how much i've progressed and changes.
Home is stable
School is strong
Work was alright, but now its no deal at all
Friends and great, I'm proud of everyone of them
The only thing that is awkward is my personal life but when has that not been awkward? With Nik all i can hope for is preserved patience, hoping everything will work out for the best - for everyone involved. My heart is full up. When I settle my feelings about someone, which I usually do quickly, not much can debunk them. If allowed, I will pour my all. As with William/Alex (a simulatneous interaction) I was almost used up because I gave my all. There are parts of me that will always belong to people, William a shining example. But...things are what they are, and I'm gathering the shards to create a new whole and perform the process over again.
I want a boy who knows what hes found, when he finds it.
I want someone to assert themselves, even if they are uncertain.
Enjoy it for what it is, whatever it can be.
For now, I'm happy dreaming.
I was working on poems earlier for creative writing class but that endeavor was distracted by the collages and pretty pictures. Thankfully, there was nothing shiney.
Feel the blues.
I'm having issues with my perception again, not being comfortable with the way I see things through these brown eyes. Not that they're bad or unhappy, I'm a peculiar breed of content nowadays, but my eyes have been acting up again for a few seconds a day. New glasses and new contacts should help a little and then I'm supposed to make another appointment with my optomotrist to examine my eyes further and see if their what is causing my headaches.
I miss having girlfriends. It'll be great to see Alex in a few days time but she'll be so consumed with Brenna when she comes that our girly banter will have to be put on hold. I'm sure she wont be one for talking once the little one begins to take on the world. If Brenna will be anything like Alex, we need to hold on because there is no way to hold her back. An Audrey butt would be a great gift too but sadness shes going to New York and lame-o may not see me until Thanksgiving, if, she is still coming out for thanksgiving anyways. Still havn't heard from Gioia since her birthday anouncement and I'm almost tempted to march over to Hillcrest and be like, woman, what is up with you. But she'll come around when everything dies down for her. Lifes tough being a grown up.
I can honestly say that things are much better now, and I had one of those moments earlier where I realized how much i've progressed and changes.
Home is stable
School is strong
Work was alright, but now its no deal at all
Friends and great, I'm proud of everyone of them
The only thing that is awkward is my personal life but when has that not been awkward? With Nik all i can hope for is preserved patience, hoping everything will work out for the best - for everyone involved. My heart is full up. When I settle my feelings about someone, which I usually do quickly, not much can debunk them. If allowed, I will pour my all. As with William/Alex (a simulatneous interaction) I was almost used up because I gave my all. There are parts of me that will always belong to people, William a shining example. But...things are what they are, and I'm gathering the shards to create a new whole and perform the process over again.
I want a boy who knows what hes found, when he finds it.
I want someone to assert themselves, even if they are uncertain.
Enjoy it for what it is, whatever it can be.
For now, I'm happy dreaming.
I was working on poems earlier for creative writing class but that endeavor was distracted by the collages and pretty pictures. Thankfully, there was nothing shiney.
Feel the blues.