I don't have time for this shit woman!
My body feels so weird. Woke up way too early today for no reason except I've been having some intense dreams here. Nothing like I'm being killed in them, or chased, but the characters around me and my interactions with them. Here in Germany, and all of Europe, they have these window shade things that you pull down to block out the light because night fall doesn't happen until 10. They make the room pitch dark, which I forgot, so I laid in my bed for about 3 hours before realizing...its daylight outside. Smart one. Doug, my dad, and I then headed to Bitten to take a boat up the Rhine and visit St. Goar and see all the castles that freckle the landscape. At first the day was overcast and windy but by the time we hit St. Goar it had burned off and turned into a gorgeous day. In 15 minutes we managed to walk/climb a mile. Note that that was after a huge beer for dinner. Heres a tip, beer and chicken noodle soup on an empty stomach then hiking up a sheer cliff is no way to not get a stomach ache. It churns and it turns but man that beer was good. Going home, I'm not going to be able to stomach the cheap crap. The castle was amazing. In Europe they have this 'if you're stupid enough' mentality so there were no rails or bars on any of the hundred year old walls. If you're stupid enough to lean over or go down a suspicious hole and get killed, well, that was your fault. Most of it was stable as a rock but some of the precipice crannies were a bit frightening. On the way back, I sunbathed on the top deck of the boat for about two hours. I am exhausted. My dad and I worked out the rest of our trip and it looks like we're going to have to nix Prague, to my dismay. Most of the EU countries don't have agreements with the Czech Republic so both trains and cars are a pain in the ass to get through. Se la vi, that means that there's more time for Paris and Amsterdam - which is definetly still in the cards. I have to smoke something while I'm here, righ? mm...my stomach still churns but also because I'm a little homesick. I miss my cat and my bed (air mattresses do not do my hips justice) and my boys and I'm definetly getting ancy for school. I should wear pigtails or something. They have the coolest bathroom here, its huge. My new favourite thing is to stalk around it naked while preparing a nice hot bath - stealing some of Sarah's Mr. Bubbles while I'm at it. To me, nothing makes you feel more awesome then in fleshy glory. A nice hot bath is most likely the remedy for my nervous stomach, that and another german dahnkl beer. The book I'm reading 'The Dream' by Emile Zola is the most romantic story I've ever read but he does it in such a beautiful way that its not sickening. Its the story about a young abandoned girl who is adopted and raised by two embroiders who live in a chapel. She is enamored with saints and has her ideal love set in her mind and lives her life absorbed in a world of innocent dreams of saints, divine love, and hope. She believes so ardently in her dreams and trusts in them so purely with innocent ignorance that the only way things can progress is for them to come true, and even if harm befalls her, you believe that she will some how be rewarded. Zola is a master with characters - and it makes me envy her innocent zeal.
...is just to love, I feel like I've been alone for so long that all I want to do, is pour my heart into it
My new favourite thing is to stare into the black forrest early in the morning and imagine all kinds of things dwelling within. Watching Sarah, I remember the days when I was younger and could sit absolutely still for hours on end absorbed in my imagination. I wouldn't play, wouldn't enact, but could close my eyes and feel whatever world I imagined for myself. Thats was started my desire to write and I feel that as I've gotten older the intensity of my imagination has faltered a little. Like Peter Pan, its like I'm forgetting. I'm still working on that story that I came up with in Texas...trying to fit some more ideas. Anyone in the binary world have sugestions? I decided to hunt down a copy of the Grimm's fairytales in German because we definetly need more in this world. Instead of, though, relying solely on the ones from the past - lent down between generations, I want to come up with new ones.
Maybe with a little help from my friends...
...is just to love, I feel like I've been alone for so long that all I want to do, is pour my heart into it
My new favourite thing is to stare into the black forrest early in the morning and imagine all kinds of things dwelling within. Watching Sarah, I remember the days when I was younger and could sit absolutely still for hours on end absorbed in my imagination. I wouldn't play, wouldn't enact, but could close my eyes and feel whatever world I imagined for myself. Thats was started my desire to write and I feel that as I've gotten older the intensity of my imagination has faltered a little. Like Peter Pan, its like I'm forgetting. I'm still working on that story that I came up with in Texas...trying to fit some more ideas. Anyone in the binary world have sugestions? I decided to hunt down a copy of the Grimm's fairytales in German because we definetly need more in this world. Instead of, though, relying solely on the ones from the past - lent down between generations, I want to come up with new ones.
Maybe with a little help from my friends...