Aug 02, 2007 11:31
I am motivated by an insatiable wanderlust.
I have literally six days left. Six days! I have been so wrapped up lately that I didn't notice those precious days slip by. My dad is in a funk spurred by his upcoming 50th birthday and stress at work. He's taking it a little out on me, but he needs the attention. Unfortunately, my mother phoned yesterday and that didn't help put him back into sorts. It only exacerbates the situation but he'll recover. This is his man period. The first few days of the month hes always grouchy and low, but I'm sure a 13 hour plane flight will cheer him up.
I think things are evolving for everyone. Havn't gotten ahold of Audrey or William in forever, Alex was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and preclampcia (screw the spelling on that) and is back on bedrest. Its just that time of the year where people wrap up their summers and prepare for the holiday/school/football (thats the one!) season. I should be getting my refund for shool soon but apparently none of my other friends are going back. Por que? I say, Gioia doesn't know if she can keep up with it, shes dissappointed in herself for letting work get to her last semester and Garrett hasn't signed up yet. Although this semester I'm not going to be able to hang like I used to. Two free hours was nice but now my butts getting whipped into shape. I still have to email Travis and be like "Hey Jude (although he hates that), wassup?"
I think I'm a little stunned. I can feel my anxiety peak at random moments and get to me then quickly abate. Not to often but the single moment is intense. I even started crying a little yesterday. Not any sobs, don't whip out the tissue box, but suddenly while sitting on the couch a few tears slid down my cheeks, but that was the extent of my bad trip. Curiosity is getting the best of me again. I need to talk to Aud Butt, she holds the key to setting me right.
I feel judged. But do not feel concerned.
I can sense it
Something important
Is about to happen
It's coming up
It takes courage to enjoy it
The hardcore and the gentle
Big time sensuality
I don't know my future after this weekend
And i don't want to
...you have to trust it.