hmmm... what to say....

May 24, 2005 12:36

I want to have sex with boys... and i wish for no one to speak to me or joe about this outside of the whole livejournal post thing cause i know that people do not approve of my views on sex and such things as sex... but me and joe had a conversation the other day about how i want to have sex with boys and i told him that i wanted to have sex with everyone that i never got to that would have sex with me... which is only one person.. and i've been thinking about that person a lot... not in an "oh, i want you back" sort of way, just like things were so... unfinished... for so long and maybe i'll actually get to say goodbye and leave all the banter jokes about sex and us behind. It doesn't mean that i love him like i used to... but would sex change that???I don't even know how i feel about certain things. And sometimes i wonder if i still do, but then i'm with joe and then i think that he's the only one that i could love like i do... but is he?? I'm confused. And joe says that we can have sex with other people as long as we're not going out with that person. And as long as we don't like the person for anything but sex... And i don't know if i can do that... I don't know if i want to be as serious with joe that i am right now. i really just want to have fun and come back to him later... but i've already done that and i was miserable... so i don't even know what i want... i just want to be able to take the oppurtunity if it comes up.. and i will take the oppurtunity when it comes up.. and if i lose joe in the process, then he never loved me like he says he does.
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