[fic] i never bother with people i hate
Title: I never bother with people I hate
Author: yeahbutstill
Pairing: Puck + Rachel friendship, hints at previous Puck/girls
Rating: PG-13 for language, crude humor
Word Count: 852
Warnings: slightly abrasive language
Summary: He’d mastered the art of avoiding.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction - all events and actions are completely made up. Absolutely nothing in this story should be taken as fact. I am not, nor do I claim to be, the owner of the rights to any of the characters in this work. This original work of fan fiction is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License; attribution should include a link to this Livejournal post.
Puck never knew how he got himself in these situations. Usually, when shit went down with a girl he just wiped his hands (metaphorically, of course) and got the hell out of there. He’d mastered the art of avoiding.
In ninth grade, Kelly Paromella wouldn’t hop off his jock and was getting all possessive and shit, so he just sent her a smooth “its not rlly workin, babe” and ignored her attempts at sexting. He had needs, but it’s not like he needed a girlfriend or something.
Sometimes avoiding meant making physical sacrifices, too. One time last year he ducked into a janitor’s closet to steer clear of some chick on the Cheerios. Somehow the door locked on the outside and he was stuck with the mops and Pledge for hours. He smelled like floor cleaner for days but at least he wasn’t being harassed by some random he hadn’t bothered to call back. He still suspects foul play.
So Puck got used to never having to deal with his hookups, except like Santana and of course Quinn, because of the baby stuff, after the actual hookup. It was super weird to be in the same room as Rachel and watch her all moony-eyes over Finn after they totally made out in her bedroom that one time. He wasn’t gonna say it was special or anything, but he thought maybe she’d take more than a day to mourn before going back to drooling over Finn.
*
His mom kept talking about dating a nice Jewish girl and maybe it stuck with him. He got kind of attached to Rachel, even though she was annoying sometimes and wanted stuff too much. But she was tiny and couldn’t like, fight back when people got on her case. When Jesse and his team of robots egged her in the parking lot, Puck had to retaliate. Too bad Schuester chose that moment to be a good teacher and stop the violence.
Seven minutes in Heaven with Lauren Zizes definitely changed him. He was dazed and confused all day. No one had knocked him down so far as she had. At least Mercedes had that silly smirk on when she made that “damn, you’re dumb” face at him. And Santana followed up statements about his credit score with random stuff like how he should run for President because he told some dude to leggo his Eggo (he’s pretty sure she’s basically just a fiend for any kind of food). There was always some good after the bad so he could reclaim his mojo. But Lauren just straight up took the air out of his ego and he…kinda liked it? Whatever subconscious psychological mumbo-jumbo that meant about him.
He thought maybe Rachel wouldn’t ever talk to him again (not like he cares or anything) after he kind of shut her down that second time they made out. But there she was bouncing into the choir room and asking him to help her make Finn jealous. This, he could do. Maybe he wasn’t down for helping her cheat (he was a changed man, okay?) but now that she and Finn were broken up it was totally fair game. And probably worth it to see the dumb look on Hudson’s face.
*
And so it began. They sang their duet in glee club, even with those knuckleheads watching and commenting on Puck’s singing voice (he totally left some marks). They sounded good and Quinn was making eyes during the song. He wasn’t really sure if they were at him or at Rachel though. That would be hot. And weird.
Rachel was kind of cute in her excitement about joining the football team. She and Tina and Mercedes and Lauren had more backbone than the entire team put together. She was giving out high fives and even though he was pretty sure this was gonna be the hardest game ever, he was maybe a little excited. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with Karofsky’s lazy ass refusing to block and do his damn job like a wuss.
*
It was like something out of a movie, the girls were moving all slow-motion and in Puck’s head there was this epic music while they walked across the field. Of course Rachel was grinning like a manic beauty queen. It was Rachel.
He strapped on his helmet and pumped himself up and then the whistle blew and he knew this was it. He put his hand on the bars of her facemask. She had her huge mouth guard in, all red and McKinley.
“Are you ready for this?”
She pulled the mouth guard out and screamed, “Let’s kick some ass!”
They both yelled and he smacked the side of her helmet and didn’t even have time to worry if he’d hit it too hard because it was time to play.
So there he was, getting bro-tastic and playing football with Rachel Berry and Mercedes and Lauren Zizes (his badass queen) and Santana and Quinn were on the sideline and he wasn’t avoiding anyone. Shit was so much simpler. He was ready to kick some ass.
Author: yeahbutstill
Pairing: Puck + Rachel friendship, hints at previous Puck/girls
Rating: PG-13 for language, crude humor
Word Count: 852
Warnings: slightly abrasive language
Summary: He’d mastered the art of avoiding.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction - all events and actions are completely made up. Absolutely nothing in this story should be taken as fact. I am not, nor do I claim to be, the owner of the rights to any of the characters in this work. This original work of fan fiction is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License; attribution should include a link to this Livejournal post.
Puck never knew how he got himself in these situations. Usually, when shit went down with a girl he just wiped his hands (metaphorically, of course) and got the hell out of there. He’d mastered the art of avoiding.
In ninth grade, Kelly Paromella wouldn’t hop off his jock and was getting all possessive and shit, so he just sent her a smooth “its not rlly workin, babe” and ignored her attempts at sexting. He had needs, but it’s not like he needed a girlfriend or something.
Sometimes avoiding meant making physical sacrifices, too. One time last year he ducked into a janitor’s closet to steer clear of some chick on the Cheerios. Somehow the door locked on the outside and he was stuck with the mops and Pledge for hours. He smelled like floor cleaner for days but at least he wasn’t being harassed by some random he hadn’t bothered to call back. He still suspects foul play.
So Puck got used to never having to deal with his hookups, except like Santana and of course Quinn, because of the baby stuff, after the actual hookup. It was super weird to be in the same room as Rachel and watch her all moony-eyes over Finn after they totally made out in her bedroom that one time. He wasn’t gonna say it was special or anything, but he thought maybe she’d take more than a day to mourn before going back to drooling over Finn.
*
His mom kept talking about dating a nice Jewish girl and maybe it stuck with him. He got kind of attached to Rachel, even though she was annoying sometimes and wanted stuff too much. But she was tiny and couldn’t like, fight back when people got on her case. When Jesse and his team of robots egged her in the parking lot, Puck had to retaliate. Too bad Schuester chose that moment to be a good teacher and stop the violence.
Seven minutes in Heaven with Lauren Zizes definitely changed him. He was dazed and confused all day. No one had knocked him down so far as she had. At least Mercedes had that silly smirk on when she made that “damn, you’re dumb” face at him. And Santana followed up statements about his credit score with random stuff like how he should run for President because he told some dude to leggo his Eggo (he’s pretty sure she’s basically just a fiend for any kind of food). There was always some good after the bad so he could reclaim his mojo. But Lauren just straight up took the air out of his ego and he…kinda liked it? Whatever subconscious psychological mumbo-jumbo that meant about him.
He thought maybe Rachel wouldn’t ever talk to him again (not like he cares or anything) after he kind of shut her down that second time they made out. But there she was bouncing into the choir room and asking him to help her make Finn jealous. This, he could do. Maybe he wasn’t down for helping her cheat (he was a changed man, okay?) but now that she and Finn were broken up it was totally fair game. And probably worth it to see the dumb look on Hudson’s face.
*
And so it began. They sang their duet in glee club, even with those knuckleheads watching and commenting on Puck’s singing voice (he totally left some marks). They sounded good and Quinn was making eyes during the song. He wasn’t really sure if they were at him or at Rachel though. That would be hot. And weird.
Rachel was kind of cute in her excitement about joining the football team. She and Tina and Mercedes and Lauren had more backbone than the entire team put together. She was giving out high fives and even though he was pretty sure this was gonna be the hardest game ever, he was maybe a little excited. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with Karofsky’s lazy ass refusing to block and do his damn job like a wuss.
*
It was like something out of a movie, the girls were moving all slow-motion and in Puck’s head there was this epic music while they walked across the field. Of course Rachel was grinning like a manic beauty queen. It was Rachel.
He strapped on his helmet and pumped himself up and then the whistle blew and he knew this was it. He put his hand on the bars of her facemask. She had her huge mouth guard in, all red and McKinley.
“Are you ready for this?”
She pulled the mouth guard out and screamed, “Let’s kick some ass!”
They both yelled and he smacked the side of her helmet and didn’t even have time to worry if he’d hit it too hard because it was time to play.
So there he was, getting bro-tastic and playing football with Rachel Berry and Mercedes and Lauren Zizes (his badass queen) and Santana and Quinn were on the sideline and he wasn’t avoiding anyone. Shit was so much simpler. He was ready to kick some ass.