(no subject)
college is a lot harder to deal with than i thought it was going to be.
i like it here, i really do. i think. i dont know though. i might like it better somewhere else? but i don't know, because i've only been here a month.
I wishwishwish i would have applied to UVA, because i loved it there so much. and it was CLEAN. i hate how dirty morgantown is, its rather depressing to look at. its littered with beer bottles and red solo cups and the air is never clean; its always filled with cigarette smoke. i have seriously never been in a town where THIS many people smoke. Not that i care that they do it, i just don't want it blown in my face every 2 seconds.
i feel like theres a lot going on around me, but nothing im a part of. and im trying so so hard to get things right, but i can't seem to. i'm screwing up, and i need to get my shit together. i like to have fun, but i don't want to be one of those people that is wasted every weekend, which has been the trend so far. and i don't quite know how to tell my roommate that. i like spending time with her, i really do, but i think it might be fun to do other stuff sometimes. i want to join the public relations club, and the cooking club, and i want internships and i want to work at the university radio station. i want my college years to have direction, i want to know where im going, and i want to do this in 4 years, not 6 like my dad who never even got a degree. i want to have an apartment with casey next year, and i want us to live in a place where we can have a dog. if not a dog, at least a turtle or something. i want it to be a good environment, and clean, and not littered like every other place i've been. i wish i had the answers to life, so i could know how this is going to play out. because to me, everything seems pretty up in the air right now. and i guess thats what college is? trying and experimenting new things to see what you like and what you don't like. but i just need more direction, and more happiness, and more of my mom. i miss her so much. i seriously don't know if i can wait two whole weeks to see her.
i want real food, zumba, church, and the co(u)rtney clan right now. maybe i'll feel better after i go home for a few days. i hope everything works out.
i like it here, i really do. i think. i dont know though. i might like it better somewhere else? but i don't know, because i've only been here a month.
I wishwishwish i would have applied to UVA, because i loved it there so much. and it was CLEAN. i hate how dirty morgantown is, its rather depressing to look at. its littered with beer bottles and red solo cups and the air is never clean; its always filled with cigarette smoke. i have seriously never been in a town where THIS many people smoke. Not that i care that they do it, i just don't want it blown in my face every 2 seconds.
i feel like theres a lot going on around me, but nothing im a part of. and im trying so so hard to get things right, but i can't seem to. i'm screwing up, and i need to get my shit together. i like to have fun, but i don't want to be one of those people that is wasted every weekend, which has been the trend so far. and i don't quite know how to tell my roommate that. i like spending time with her, i really do, but i think it might be fun to do other stuff sometimes. i want to join the public relations club, and the cooking club, and i want internships and i want to work at the university radio station. i want my college years to have direction, i want to know where im going, and i want to do this in 4 years, not 6 like my dad who never even got a degree. i want to have an apartment with casey next year, and i want us to live in a place where we can have a dog. if not a dog, at least a turtle or something. i want it to be a good environment, and clean, and not littered like every other place i've been. i wish i had the answers to life, so i could know how this is going to play out. because to me, everything seems pretty up in the air right now. and i guess thats what college is? trying and experimenting new things to see what you like and what you don't like. but i just need more direction, and more happiness, and more of my mom. i miss her so much. i seriously don't know if i can wait two whole weeks to see her.
i want real food, zumba, church, and the co(u)rtney clan right now. maybe i'll feel better after i go home for a few days. i hope everything works out.