(no subject)

[yea_im_gellin]

i hate doctors. so much. like so incredibly much. like really really horribly a lot. ya know? yeah i think you get the point. my ultrasound was this morning. wow. i hated it. a lot. ok i cannot hold a liter of water inside of me for over an hour! but they think i can apparently. my appointment was at ten. why was i not in there at ten? it took forever. i was waiting and waiting and..dying. well that's how it felt anyway. i felt the worst pain you can't even imagine it. i swear. that was the worst pain i have ever felt in my entire freaking life. i felt like i was going to explode. i was shaking really bad. my stomach was doing gymnastics. there were sharp pains on my sides and up my whole back. my sides hurt soo bad. my legs stung. i had to pee. i was sweating, hurting. i didn't want to cry. i told myself i would not cry. i cried. i had two nervous breakdowns. yes that's right, not one but two. i was crying really bad and shaking and there was no way to feel better except peeing. and i couldn't pee. i wasn't alowed. i would have to go through it all over again if i went. so i sat there. i was sad, mad and i don't know. i wished i was dead. i would have rather been dead. then i cried at the fact that i was crying. i was embarrassed to cry. i felt like the biggest loser. tehre were weird looks and stares. i just wanted to beat someone up. i clenched my fists. stomped my foot. stood up sat down. closed my eyes. cried. i felt like throwing up. man i really thought i was gonna. i felt it coming. but then i guess it decided not to. i thought i was going to throw up, pee myself, or die. niether happened. i was in a lot of pain. i don't think anyone should have to be in that. i did not have to drink that much water. stupid people. they made me drink too much. they are so retarded. i'm freaking 14 years old. i can't hold all of that. and then they take me in late? are they insane? you don't know how pissed i was. the doctor, a very nice lady, let me pee like half of it out before the thing. so why did i have to have all that water when she ended up letting me relieve myself??? that was ridiculous. i liked the lady though. God gave me a very nice doctor. which is good considering i hate doctors. lol. but i liked her. she felt so bad. she was so nice. my mom said i was phsycotic and she is not going to be near me when i'm in labor. lol. i was like ok i am never having kids. lol. so when it was all over i peed and had a minor stomach ache and the shakes. so my mom took me to wendys and i was lovely. lol. i was happy, felt SO much better. ahh. it felt so good to pee. lol. so that's today i guess. bye!

love, heather feather