OK so maybe I lied
I like this boy, I like him a lot... I let my friends scare me away from him.. I admit he did do some wrong but he couldnt have lied about everything he said... I miss that boy.. the boy that would sit there and talk to me like a normail person... how it make me uncomfortable cuz I never had someone express their feelings to me by looking into my eyes and I was scared.. the timeing was kinda off.. i was broken and didnt want to deal with something real... i wanted to just put the past in the back of my head and not think about it... now talking to him again I want that back.. I want the talks, the cuteness and the late nights...I want the time we were spending together and the crazy emails lol.. I dont want my friends to put things into my head that arent true and that I never thought in the first place... i want to go off my own opinion and other to stop scaring me from things that I acctually want
I really screwed up and was a bitch during the whole thing... I was confused, honestly I was.. I stated that fact over and over... I just needed time to figure things out and let things settle for just one minute
well its settled now for the most part, I back to being somewhat myself, I'm back to missing him and wanting to see him... but I screwed things up big time... its my fault but I just want a second chance... I wish I could remember what I said that night to make him upset with me. He said its fine and that hes not mad but there was a part in which he was and I wish I could take it back
He just needs to realize that he can never understand why I am friends with my friends cuz I dont even know... I know he is just looking out for me and he has since the beginning, I think thats why he gets so upset about it... i keep making the same mistakes and he just wants to help... I just get so defesive when he talks about it because he always says EXACTLY what I am thinking.. it really creeps me out and I feel like I have to defend the other side.. my thoughts are only thoughts... i think what ifs all day and what i should do... this boy puts it out in the open and makes me think about it again when sometimes I dont want to think anymore... then I yell and he feels like an as for saying the truth...
I feel like an idiot.. I passed up a good one.. yes he has made mistakes but so has everyone.. I'd give him a second chance if he gave me one as well
I really screwed up and was a bitch during the whole thing... I was confused, honestly I was.. I stated that fact over and over... I just needed time to figure things out and let things settle for just one minute
well its settled now for the most part, I back to being somewhat myself, I'm back to missing him and wanting to see him... but I screwed things up big time... its my fault but I just want a second chance... I wish I could remember what I said that night to make him upset with me. He said its fine and that hes not mad but there was a part in which he was and I wish I could take it back
He just needs to realize that he can never understand why I am friends with my friends cuz I dont even know... I know he is just looking out for me and he has since the beginning, I think thats why he gets so upset about it... i keep making the same mistakes and he just wants to help... I just get so defesive when he talks about it because he always says EXACTLY what I am thinking.. it really creeps me out and I feel like I have to defend the other side.. my thoughts are only thoughts... i think what ifs all day and what i should do... this boy puts it out in the open and makes me think about it again when sometimes I dont want to think anymore... then I yell and he feels like an as for saying the truth...
I feel like an idiot.. I passed up a good one.. yes he has made mistakes but so has everyone.. I'd give him a second chance if he gave me one as well