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Mar 13, 2007 19:31

I just wanted to let everyone know that today was amazing... I finally felt like myself... It sucks how when you get new classes here its like going to a whole new school everytime... but I finally was able to talk to people like normal again, finally spoke up in class and not afraid to be called a goody toe shoes... It was a hugr release that I have been fighting with since I came here, I didnt want to speak up since so many people hated me for it back at Lakeland... but you know what... I FINALLY DIDNT CARE and I taught my teacher how to do her lesson today, i felt kind of bad for that but it was excel which I use at work and I had Schmitty for last year and did a lot with it and know it like th back of my hand... even helped out a really cute boy in which I would hjave never approached b4 break.. I also didnt get shy in my first class of the day!!! I came into a class of all boys that were sitting in the back, I went right to the front and started talking to the teacher then switched seats... It first was a nervous thing since I didnt know anyone yet but then Reggie walked in late and I was VERY excited... then we were to put ourselves in alpha order due to last name, no one was talking or moving and usually id just follow the crowd but no Karly and I stepped up and directed the whole class who seemed to forget how to talk.. It was nice being able to not be shy anymore.. I am still shy and will always be for some odd reason.. when I was little I wouldnt talk to anyone not even my grandparents so its getting better.... I really wanted to see a certain someone today though since I had the right menality to strike up a conversation while seeing him on campus but I didnt see him.. it's ok though... got my classes all worked out and now I have a friday class at 12-2 instead of a 8-10 class on tuesday thursday in which the teacher doesnt speak english... idk today was just a great day.... wither it be the weather or just idk.. it was just a great day.. those 2 days home were such a release of everything that I just feel complely comforable here right now... it makes me extremly motivated and I am sooo looking forward to moving into our townhouse and laying out at our pool

I love when Jeremey comes over cuz I feel like I am just hanging out with one o my guy friends... we talk more now.. I am not so worried that Taeia will get pissed off about it becuase it seems fine and I would hope she'd speak up if it did bother her... oh well its like fighting with a brother and its comforting

edkflhsdlkgh I cant even wait.... I wish my friends were here to share this experience with me, but now I understand that they cant be, I know who my true friends are and I know who not to talk to about what certain things and how to make sure I am not able to be ppls scape goats... I think I have things figured out right now... I just have to get comfortable with this boys talking to me thing, I still dont trust them fully lol

ahhh RYAN IS BACK.... watch out <3
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