"I wanted you to fight for me"
You wouldnt believe how confused I am about things right now.. Its dumb but whenever I watch one tree hill I get all sad cuz it makes me think a lot... cuz everything relates to my life in someway or at least makes me think about it and what I want.. then my cousin getting engaged out of the blue to her best friend kinda through me for a loop too... I dont get this whole love stuff... I just dont get it... I have been wanting to experience new people and new things but I cant make myself do anything that makes me feel bad and this deffinaltly doesnt make me feel good, it makes my head go crazy.. I love the attention... the good attention but the other attention makes me competly uncomfortable and makes me feel like he thinks I am a skank.. I feel like a drunken boody call and cant trust anything sweet he says cuz I always feel like he has been drinking... I really cant deal with this and I dont know how to tell him in a nice way cuz I always feel so bad...I dont have feelings for this boy, I may not be clear on what "in love" means but I know when something feels right and this doesnt... It doesnt have the same feeling as the one I am looking for and I am not so sure I want to stick around and waste my time to find out if it will come soon...
I know what something real feels like, even if its just on my side of it I still know how it feels, those feelings dont just grow they are there even when you dont know what you are feeling at the time... I just dont get that right now and I am not sure how to put it... I am turning into something I have always hated and it needs to stop, I just need some help doing so and sometimes the people that you need to help you really wont give a flying fuck about the situation
"I WANTED YOU TO FIGHT FOR ME... how am I suppose to know that?? YOU JUST ARE"-----I love this show, but it hits too close to home with a lot of things