Have I mentioned that I'm rediculous?
So basically, what I've realized about myself is that I say stupid things. I think stupid things. And my entire last entry was a lie. I really don't want it again, it's just that it's easy to think about the comfort I used to have when everything else is falling away. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore, I don't have stable ground. And that scares me. I feel like there's nowhere to turn anymore; everyone is too concerned with their own problems to give me that shoulder to cry on. And I've been doing entirely too much crying lately.
I miss my fivesome. I need those girls terribly, and I can't do another month without them.
I feel like even my roommates are getting sick of me.
But, we're all going to the diner tonight, and I need that. I can't wait just to do something.
And something other than homework. And working. I mean, I love my coworkers (except for the ones who need a swift kick in the face) but it really just doesn't do it for me anymore. And now I need to fix two cars, figure out how I'm paying for the summer course I'm taking, pay my car insurance for the entire year, bleh bleh bleh the bills just never stop piling up.
I don't know. I just feel so negative. And I really don't like it at all. I need fresh air. I need a break. I need to run. I need a hug. I need the security of knowing I have somewhere to go at the end of the day, preferably where there are a warm pair of arms waiting to lull me to sleep.
Oh, and I need to burn a house down.
~Heather
>>“She glanced at a jagged crack on the wall of her office. She heard no sound. She knew she was alone in the ruins of a building. It seemed as if she were alone in the city. She felt an emotion held back for years: a loneliness much beyond this moment, beyond the silence of the room that had been her office. She felt as if she were in exile, never to return, as if she were separated from the building by much more than a sheet of glass, a curtain of rain and the span of a few months. She stood, in a room of crumbling plaster, pressed to the windowpane, looking up at the unattainable form of everything she loved. She did not know the nature of her loneliness. The only words that named it were: This is not the world I expected." -Atlas Shrugged<<
I miss my fivesome. I need those girls terribly, and I can't do another month without them.
I feel like even my roommates are getting sick of me.
But, we're all going to the diner tonight, and I need that. I can't wait just to do something.
And something other than homework. And working. I mean, I love my coworkers (except for the ones who need a swift kick in the face) but it really just doesn't do it for me anymore. And now I need to fix two cars, figure out how I'm paying for the summer course I'm taking, pay my car insurance for the entire year, bleh bleh bleh the bills just never stop piling up.
I don't know. I just feel so negative. And I really don't like it at all. I need fresh air. I need a break. I need to run. I need a hug. I need the security of knowing I have somewhere to go at the end of the day, preferably where there are a warm pair of arms waiting to lull me to sleep.
Oh, and I need to burn a house down.
~Heather
>>“She glanced at a jagged crack on the wall of her office. She heard no sound. She knew she was alone in the ruins of a building. It seemed as if she were alone in the city. She felt an emotion held back for years: a loneliness much beyond this moment, beyond the silence of the room that had been her office. She felt as if she were in exile, never to return, as if she were separated from the building by much more than a sheet of glass, a curtain of rain and the span of a few months. She stood, in a room of crumbling plaster, pressed to the windowpane, looking up at the unattainable form of everything she loved. She did not know the nature of her loneliness. The only words that named it were: This is not the world I expected." -Atlas Shrugged<<