stupid shit as usual, cuz ah have no money & no life
ah found an old video ah had that had an episode of the daily show with jon stewart & he was interviewing milton berlie. now, uncle miltie had his funny moments, but...what is up with people laughing at legendary old coots just because they're legendary old coots? not everything that cums outta their mouth is gold, but you'd never know it to watch them interviewed. ah dunno, maybe ah'm just tired & bitchy tonite. on the other hand, the good news is that there's still hope for pauly shore. in 40 years, when he's in his legendary old coot phase, people will finally think he's funny. they will have to. it's a cosmic law.
ah like mah job, it's pretty easy & it allows me to save up for university eventually & buy mah kids some school clothes. but sometimes, people do things ah just cun't fathom.
as a reminder for those not in the know, it's very rude to throw things at the cashier. we have a conveyor belt to set items on. please, if you feel you must throw items, aim them at said belt, not at me. ah'm waaaaaaay too nice [read: ah actually have manners] & desperate to have a job to throw it back at ya, but one o' these days yer gonna run into a cashier who isn't. it won't be pretty. ah'm doing you a favour sugah.
why on earth do people feel the need to give their cashiers their religious pamphlets? ah just think yer rude & deluded, then ah throw it away. yes, ah've heard o' this god cuntcept. ah've even heard o' yer god. when you hand me that pamphlet, yer letting me know you think ah'm fucking stupid & deserve to burn in a furnace forever. know what? some would take this as an insult. ah'm pretty sure if ah gave you a pamphlet saying everything you think is wrong & you should worship robert smith [which you should, ya know], you'd think it rude, especially since we're strangers. it's just as rude to do it to me. besides, if yer god lurves lurves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers or a diamond ring [preferably with a platinum band]? bahstahd.
ah'm not a babysitting service. they're bite size & taste nummy with barbecue sauce. also, if yer kids sit in the back o' the cart where the groceries go, ah don't have much room to put yer groceries there. ah'm ok with that, just keep that in mind. people actually don't understand that sometimes.
it's a big arsed grocery store. ah don't know the price o' every item in the store nor do ah know the name o' every exotic fruit & veggie we carry. if YOU don't know what it is, and yer the one buying it, how on robert's green earth would AH know?
btw, it's not mah fault yer card will only run as a credit card & not a debit card. honestly, it's not just an evil atheist cuntspiracy to make yer life hell. ah swear, people are insane. ah was working the express lane & she couldn't get it to go thru as a debit card...neither could ah...neither could mah supervisor...but it was MAH fault her card didn't work. uh huh. then about 10 minutes later she cums back to mah register watching me check out other customers and when it takes them a couple swipes to make their card work, starts wagging her finger at me saying [quite frentically, ah might add] "you need to report that machine! ah told you it wasn't mah card!" etc...ummm...ah had credit & debit orders since then & they went thru perfectly - and this one did as well. but ah'll report the machines to the fbi first thing in the morning before they take over the store & turn us into mutant cashiers. ah have to cuz another customer the other day said the reason we have trouble with the machines sometimes [apparently, just being a machine that sometimes malfunctions isn't an option] is becuz someone is hacking his account as we speak.
"express lane about 10 items or less" ah know that gives ya some wiggle room, but remember the rounding rule you learned in math? ok, here's the deal...when rounding numbers off , any number over five gets rounded up to the next number. cumming to the express lane with thirty plus items is very uncoolness. it's no skin off mah nose, of course, but the people waiting behind you with five items will take the piss.
btw, the lush who cun't afford a toothbrush but always has beer money, si a regular customer. ah duck down to pick trash off the floor when ah see him cumming.
fuck ah'm tired. ah need sleep & freedom.
ah like mah job, it's pretty easy & it allows me to save up for university eventually & buy mah kids some school clothes. but sometimes, people do things ah just cun't fathom.
as a reminder for those not in the know, it's very rude to throw things at the cashier. we have a conveyor belt to set items on. please, if you feel you must throw items, aim them at said belt, not at me. ah'm waaaaaaay too nice [read: ah actually have manners] & desperate to have a job to throw it back at ya, but one o' these days yer gonna run into a cashier who isn't. it won't be pretty. ah'm doing you a favour sugah.
why on earth do people feel the need to give their cashiers their religious pamphlets? ah just think yer rude & deluded, then ah throw it away. yes, ah've heard o' this god cuntcept. ah've even heard o' yer god. when you hand me that pamphlet, yer letting me know you think ah'm fucking stupid & deserve to burn in a furnace forever. know what? some would take this as an insult. ah'm pretty sure if ah gave you a pamphlet saying everything you think is wrong & you should worship robert smith [which you should, ya know], you'd think it rude, especially since we're strangers. it's just as rude to do it to me. besides, if yer god lurves lurves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers or a diamond ring [preferably with a platinum band]? bahstahd.
ah'm not a babysitting service. they're bite size & taste nummy with barbecue sauce. also, if yer kids sit in the back o' the cart where the groceries go, ah don't have much room to put yer groceries there. ah'm ok with that, just keep that in mind. people actually don't understand that sometimes.
it's a big arsed grocery store. ah don't know the price o' every item in the store nor do ah know the name o' every exotic fruit & veggie we carry. if YOU don't know what it is, and yer the one buying it, how on robert's green earth would AH know?
btw, it's not mah fault yer card will only run as a credit card & not a debit card. honestly, it's not just an evil atheist cuntspiracy to make yer life hell. ah swear, people are insane. ah was working the express lane & she couldn't get it to go thru as a debit card...neither could ah...neither could mah supervisor...but it was MAH fault her card didn't work. uh huh. then about 10 minutes later she cums back to mah register watching me check out other customers and when it takes them a couple swipes to make their card work, starts wagging her finger at me saying [quite frentically, ah might add] "you need to report that machine! ah told you it wasn't mah card!" etc...ummm...ah had credit & debit orders since then & they went thru perfectly - and this one did as well. but ah'll report the machines to the fbi first thing in the morning before they take over the store & turn us into mutant cashiers. ah have to cuz another customer the other day said the reason we have trouble with the machines sometimes [apparently, just being a machine that sometimes malfunctions isn't an option] is becuz someone is hacking his account as we speak.
"express lane about 10 items or less" ah know that gives ya some wiggle room, but remember the rounding rule you learned in math? ok, here's the deal...when rounding numbers off , any number over five gets rounded up to the next number. cumming to the express lane with thirty plus items is very uncoolness. it's no skin off mah nose, of course, but the people waiting behind you with five items will take the piss.
btw, the lush who cun't afford a toothbrush but always has beer money, si a regular customer. ah duck down to pick trash off the floor when ah see him cumming.
fuck ah'm tired. ah need sleep & freedom.