(no subject)
wow. what a fucking weekend.
to start with, let me just tell you how depressing mother's day is for me (especially this year). i have never once spent a mother's day with my mom. never. and i have been missing her a lot lately. it doesn't help that i realized today that by next time i see her (thanksgiving break) it will have been over a year since i last saw her. wow. that's a really fucking long time to go without seeing your mom. so shitty. it's another one of those holidays when i had no one to spend it with. so i went with joey to see his mom and grandma. it was a blast, not. especially having to be around his fucking sister all fucking day. it was nice to see his parents though, i owe them so much, especially just from these last few weeks. but what a shitty day.
to top it off, i found out that my great grandma has only been given a few more days to live. i guess she just took a turn for the worse. i immediately regret not being able to spend more time with her and not writing to her more often like i used to. i'm so mad at myself. but i don't want to lose her, as much as i haven't kept in touch with her recently, i like knowing she is around and seeing her when i can. she is the nicest person. i hate when people die. but she is in her late 90s and i know she is unhappy, so i know it's probably the best thing for her.
it's just been such a rough weekend. so much has happened and i just can't take it. i just want everyone and everything to just go away and leave me and joey alone.
i just want to fucking run far away.
to start with, let me just tell you how depressing mother's day is for me (especially this year). i have never once spent a mother's day with my mom. never. and i have been missing her a lot lately. it doesn't help that i realized today that by next time i see her (thanksgiving break) it will have been over a year since i last saw her. wow. that's a really fucking long time to go without seeing your mom. so shitty. it's another one of those holidays when i had no one to spend it with. so i went with joey to see his mom and grandma. it was a blast, not. especially having to be around his fucking sister all fucking day. it was nice to see his parents though, i owe them so much, especially just from these last few weeks. but what a shitty day.
to top it off, i found out that my great grandma has only been given a few more days to live. i guess she just took a turn for the worse. i immediately regret not being able to spend more time with her and not writing to her more often like i used to. i'm so mad at myself. but i don't want to lose her, as much as i haven't kept in touch with her recently, i like knowing she is around and seeing her when i can. she is the nicest person. i hate when people die. but she is in her late 90s and i know she is unhappy, so i know it's probably the best thing for her.
it's just been such a rough weekend. so much has happened and i just can't take it. i just want everyone and everything to just go away and leave me and joey alone.
i just want to fucking run far away.