(no subject)
I'm struggling. I want so badly to use. The addict in me has been trying to convince myself that it's okay for me to drink, and that it's okay for me to smoke. It's not, I know that. It'll lead me right back to hell, and quickly. I'm clean, that hasn't changed, but fuck. I'm depressed, and I'm lonely. I need to make new Buffalo friends, but I'm awful at making friends, especially sober.
I have been dragging my heels at going to meetings and feeling out the scene in Buffalo. I keep looking up meetings and then "accidentally" oversleeping. I see my shrink on monday...I plan to tell him all of this. He was looking into finding a psychologist for me in Buffalo, so we'll see.
I want to busy myself with shows in the new year. And with music. I wanna study voice again, so I gotta find a decent teacher in the area.
And babies. I am going to busy myself with babies!
I have been dragging my heels at going to meetings and feeling out the scene in Buffalo. I keep looking up meetings and then "accidentally" oversleeping. I see my shrink on monday...I plan to tell him all of this. He was looking into finding a psychologist for me in Buffalo, so we'll see.
I want to busy myself with shows in the new year. And with music. I wanna study voice again, so I gotta find a decent teacher in the area.
And babies. I am going to busy myself with babies!