sizzle.
well. it is 11 minutes after 7 on a monday. the sky is dark. this room is lit so brightly that my eyes can hardy focus upon the computer screen without zoning into the god awful glare of the ceiling fan lights. red p.j. pants that ive had on all day considering that ive done nothing, but burn sausage this morning, stand in front of the unripened oranges hangin from the tree in my backyard as i mourned for juice, in the erly afternoon and in the later hours of the afternoon, i got shot down for registration at a school that wouldnt want me there anyways considering that i actually want to learn, am not pregnant, ignorant, or mexican. i guess they just didnt have the room for me. another failed atempt for completion in life. i will go to sleep in the later hours of the night after sitting alone counting down the minutes until my husband calls and sings me the barney song, so that my day will be complete. the hours between midnight and 9am will be a blurr. i will then wake tomorrow, still mourning for orange juice and trying once again to get the sausage right. then off to work. i will then make coffee for six hours of my life and feel as though im not living every minute as if it were mine. it is now 24 minutes after 7 and i am here, alone with my computer, the glare in my eyes, and the beatles. these red p.j.'s have been my best friend all day and i cant help but wonder if i could be living life a little fuller at this moment or if this moment is actually meant to be spent like this. i will die someday and i dont want to regret who i was or what ive become. i believe that im meant for better things. im 18. married. i have a mediocre job. my only good moments are spent with my best friend...mr. red p.j. pants. so thanks to them.