Lies People tell Children
So I was having a conversation with my oldest friend Shivani the other day about lies parents tell their children to get them to stop doing certain things. I was reminded of this conversation today when I walked home from the grocery store and couldn't get past this annoying child on the pavement. His grandmather called to him "come hold my hand" but it refused and ran off shaking his head.
"Come hold nanny's hand" she continued to call but the child relentlessly skipped ahead, closer to the road.
"Do you want sweeties?" she beckoned. The child turned around abruptly (I swear there were skidmarks on the ground...) and gaped at his grandmother.
"Come hold my hand and we'll go get some sweets". Poor child doesn't realise this is the oldest trick in the book. By the time they had gotten home, chances are he would have forgotten all about the sweets.
I thought about some of the lies my parents and grand parents told me when I was younger to get me to behave. They include the following
"If you drink coffee, your legs will become crooked and you won't grow properly" (one of Gran's favourite)
"If you don't eat all your food, the sun won't come out tomorrow. The weather will be miserable and it'll be all your fault (Gran again)
"If you don't behave, Dad and I are giving you up for adoption" (this one scared the living daylights out of my sis and me)
I once asked my mom why some people have dimples on their chin and she replied "When they were born they got an imprint from their mother's vagina". Thanks mom! She also told me that you know your baby is gonna be a girl if you and your partner kissed during sex lol. (In other words boys came from lovless sex? no?)
"Don't cross your eyes/open your mouth so widely because your face will get suck that way" I think all folks used this one at some stage.
"Don't swallow your chewing gum, you'll never digest it/it will stay in your tummy for 7 years"
And my absolute favourite...a lie my grandmother told my mom to get her to eat all her food: "If you don't eat all your food you will turn into a fly. Then I will probably swat you because I won't know it's you!"
Brilliant
"Come hold nanny's hand" she continued to call but the child relentlessly skipped ahead, closer to the road.
"Do you want sweeties?" she beckoned. The child turned around abruptly (I swear there were skidmarks on the ground...) and gaped at his grandmother.
"Come hold my hand and we'll go get some sweets". Poor child doesn't realise this is the oldest trick in the book. By the time they had gotten home, chances are he would have forgotten all about the sweets.
I thought about some of the lies my parents and grand parents told me when I was younger to get me to behave. They include the following
"If you drink coffee, your legs will become crooked and you won't grow properly" (one of Gran's favourite)
"If you don't eat all your food, the sun won't come out tomorrow. The weather will be miserable and it'll be all your fault (Gran again)
"If you don't behave, Dad and I are giving you up for adoption" (this one scared the living daylights out of my sis and me)
I once asked my mom why some people have dimples on their chin and she replied "When they were born they got an imprint from their mother's vagina". Thanks mom! She also told me that you know your baby is gonna be a girl if you and your partner kissed during sex lol. (In other words boys came from lovless sex? no?)
"Don't cross your eyes/open your mouth so widely because your face will get suck that way" I think all folks used this one at some stage.
"Don't swallow your chewing gum, you'll never digest it/it will stay in your tummy for 7 years"
And my absolute favourite...a lie my grandmother told my mom to get her to eat all her food: "If you don't eat all your food you will turn into a fly. Then I will probably swat you because I won't know it's you!"
Brilliant