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[yazoo66]

 I am so tired. I'm so tired of being alone and being rejected and being lost. I wonder sometimes why I've gone to all the trouble to change and become a healthier, better person. For what? Just so I can say "Well, I'm a healthier, better person?"  A year ago I was miserable because I was a out-of-control alcoholic, teetering on the vergoe suicide

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[seductionjunkie]

Thank you, B :) My dad always liked you. He was the best, best man i've ever known, and I couldn't have asked for a better father. I'm just sorry that I wasn't a better son.

I used to cut myself too, I think it's a pretty common coping mechanism. I still drink, but now it's just socially, and not nearly as much as i used to. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, even when I wish I couldn't, so I'm quite used to coping with emotional BLECH. And I have my own vices, such as the live action roleplaying game I'm addicted to.. speaking of which, I'm making a gargoyle outfit and using a SHIT TON of black liquid latex, and the ammonia fumes have been directly undernetah my nose for the past few hours..so if this is all in my head, and i'm really just typing IQWYCIC:ACVIYEFJBDVJND like that, please excuse this..if you can even read it. Hmm... I didn't ammonia know it could affect me like that. or perhaps its the..thing I forget what I was saying. LOL!! pardon me while I go air out my room..oh, if you feel like chating online and you have yim, I can send you my handle :)