ah
So today was ok...not the best, but ok. I did my daily thing, tried as hard as I could to focus on the class I was in, and go with my business as usual. I was in class quite often today with nothing to do but think. Thinking about what to say, what to do, how to act, what to expect. Will it be awkward? no..probably not. Will he reject my presence? No...don't think so. Will things be right again? I can only hope. Thoughts like that, just all day long, scattered around in my deeply troubled mind at the moment. Well, I thought those questions would be answered today, but they were not. I went to his house, his car was absent, he obviously wasn't there. So I became Miss Chickenshit and didn't put the letter in the mailbox or doorstep or anything, his roommate, Kyle, was home. So, I have to wait longer and longer to put my mind at ease. I am just going to mail the letter to his house, now that I have the correct address, well I did the whole time I just wasn't sure. If he never gets it, or if they send it back to me because for some very strange reason he doesn't reside there anymore, I will call his ass long distance because I know he'll be in Ventura with his mom and sister. God damn it, why couldn't he have been there today? I know he doesn't work this late into the afternoon, and now I have to wait doubly longer. Ah this sucks. Well, I better go put the stamp on the envelope and get down to a mailbox somewhere. Bye.