30 Day Blog #3
So. I have two parents. They are crazy, but I honestly believe they might be the best people for each other. I've never seen them fight. ever. And that's a lot more than most of my friends can say about their parents. One of their favorite things to do together, it seems, is yell. Yell at me, yell at people at drive-thrus, and yell about the things that make them mad; but not ATeach other, WITH each other.
Both of them grew up poor with nothing and had rough lifes, but not equally so IMO. They both have 9 biological brothers and sisters. Both moved out at a young age so I felt they could never relate to what I was going through.
I grew up thinking that my mom didn't really care about my dad, and that my dad thought my mom could do no wrong, but now I know that's not so. If you've met my mother, it's pretty apparent she has anxiety issues. And considering their history, my mom must have REALLY wanted my dad, there's no real other explanation for her actions besides crazy infatuation. But that's ok I guess, because they've been married for more than 20 years now. I always say that I know they'll never get remarried if one of them dies, because no one else would take them.
My mom does really weird math, she takes away from zeros that aren't there. My dad and I create tens to take away from, like the rest of the world. Just goes to show how the education system can change throughout the years.
My dad is like me, or rather, I am like my dad. We try to solve problems, think up ideas, and apply them; which ends up being a duck-taped cup holder on a lawn mower. If we had a lot of money, I'm sure we'd probably be selling crap to millions of people. And we must DRAW out our ideas before they happen. Yes, we're weird.
They both like gardening, I don't know why, all they do is complain how much their bacsk hurt afterward.
The thing I am most proud of my mom for is giving birth to me while on pitocin without an epidural and being in labor for 12 hours. I'm sure the fact that she went into labor on her own played a part in that, but she never talked about it like it was god-awful pain, it was like she was describing getting a tattoo, yeah it hurts, what's your point? I never grew up being afraid of childbirth, even when I learned where babies REALLY come out from, because all she ever told me was how her back hurt the most and she couldn't get comfortable. I thought that wasn't too bad, then as I got older and more involved into the whole "birthing business" I learned they had used pitocin on her to augment her labor and she was 30 minutes away from getting a c-section. I think the more amazing thing is how it was like her first birth in a sense, she was asleep when she had my older sister but she didn't have a c-section. Those nice nurses sheltering my 17-year-old mom from the pain of childbirth.
My mom and I have had a really rough relationship, but I've come to accept that nobody is perfect and I've treated some people I really did love in some really awful ways. There are some things she can help, and some things she can't. It seems to be getting a lot better, now that I'm on this diet, she actually called me pretty this morning. Not you look nice, but pretty. I find it really odd how when I was younger, I wanted to do the exact opposite of everything she wanted me to do, and now, it's like I subconsciously strive for her approval; when I tell her something I've done and she doesn't seem to care, I feel bad because I expected her to be proud, but why do I even care? It's confusing.
I've also had less dreams of us fighting to the death lately...I'd be really disturbed if I had any other dreams of people choking me out besides her.
There's not really a lot to say about my dad, nothing really comes up. We don't talk a lot anymore, but I'm glad he's supportive of Ryan and I getting married, it means a lot. I know I'll miss him when he's gone. I just really hope he can have a relationship with his grandchildren and vice versa. I know I didn't growing up and that's one thing I want my kids to have that I can't exactly control. I hope I inherit all his "junk" as my mom calls it. There's a story behind every trinket. One thing my dad has is a lot of stories, and yes, he DID walk to school 2 miles in the snow. My dad's usually never enthusiastic about anything unless it's related to my school or my singing. He would get so happy at every A I brought home, I still put papers on the fridge even in college. Even if it's something so dumb as homework. The only other times I remembering him seeming very proud was whenever I'd get a solo at church, he always talked about how everyone came up to him complimenting me about how good I was, or how smart I was, which they knew from just knowing me. I could bible drill like a BEAST.
I think the most important lessons my parents have taught me, indirectly or directly, is how I should parent, what I should do for my children:
Don't raise your voice/scream/lose your cool,etc.
Always make sure your children know they are loved.
Time spent together is worth 10 times more than toys.
Your children's lives are not your own; they may believe different things, choose different things, think different ways, but always support them in their endeavors.
Concentrate more on their perfections more than their faults.
READ to your children.
Don't keep them in a bubble just because of your fear, it's weird going through life without ever breaking a bone.
Be a parent first, friend second.
What everyone else is allowed to do is RARELY the best thing to do.
Both of them grew up poor with nothing and had rough lifes, but not equally so IMO. They both have 9 biological brothers and sisters. Both moved out at a young age so I felt they could never relate to what I was going through.
I grew up thinking that my mom didn't really care about my dad, and that my dad thought my mom could do no wrong, but now I know that's not so. If you've met my mother, it's pretty apparent she has anxiety issues. And considering their history, my mom must have REALLY wanted my dad, there's no real other explanation for her actions besides crazy infatuation. But that's ok I guess, because they've been married for more than 20 years now. I always say that I know they'll never get remarried if one of them dies, because no one else would take them.
My mom does really weird math, she takes away from zeros that aren't there. My dad and I create tens to take away from, like the rest of the world. Just goes to show how the education system can change throughout the years.
My dad is like me, or rather, I am like my dad. We try to solve problems, think up ideas, and apply them; which ends up being a duck-taped cup holder on a lawn mower. If we had a lot of money, I'm sure we'd probably be selling crap to millions of people. And we must DRAW out our ideas before they happen. Yes, we're weird.
They both like gardening, I don't know why, all they do is complain how much their bacsk hurt afterward.
The thing I am most proud of my mom for is giving birth to me while on pitocin without an epidural and being in labor for 12 hours. I'm sure the fact that she went into labor on her own played a part in that, but she never talked about it like it was god-awful pain, it was like she was describing getting a tattoo, yeah it hurts, what's your point? I never grew up being afraid of childbirth, even when I learned where babies REALLY come out from, because all she ever told me was how her back hurt the most and she couldn't get comfortable. I thought that wasn't too bad, then as I got older and more involved into the whole "birthing business" I learned they had used pitocin on her to augment her labor and she was 30 minutes away from getting a c-section. I think the more amazing thing is how it was like her first birth in a sense, she was asleep when she had my older sister but she didn't have a c-section. Those nice nurses sheltering my 17-year-old mom from the pain of childbirth.
My mom and I have had a really rough relationship, but I've come to accept that nobody is perfect and I've treated some people I really did love in some really awful ways. There are some things she can help, and some things she can't. It seems to be getting a lot better, now that I'm on this diet, she actually called me pretty this morning. Not you look nice, but pretty. I find it really odd how when I was younger, I wanted to do the exact opposite of everything she wanted me to do, and now, it's like I subconsciously strive for her approval; when I tell her something I've done and she doesn't seem to care, I feel bad because I expected her to be proud, but why do I even care? It's confusing.
I've also had less dreams of us fighting to the death lately...I'd be really disturbed if I had any other dreams of people choking me out besides her.
There's not really a lot to say about my dad, nothing really comes up. We don't talk a lot anymore, but I'm glad he's supportive of Ryan and I getting married, it means a lot. I know I'll miss him when he's gone. I just really hope he can have a relationship with his grandchildren and vice versa. I know I didn't growing up and that's one thing I want my kids to have that I can't exactly control. I hope I inherit all his "junk" as my mom calls it. There's a story behind every trinket. One thing my dad has is a lot of stories, and yes, he DID walk to school 2 miles in the snow. My dad's usually never enthusiastic about anything unless it's related to my school or my singing. He would get so happy at every A I brought home, I still put papers on the fridge even in college. Even if it's something so dumb as homework. The only other times I remembering him seeming very proud was whenever I'd get a solo at church, he always talked about how everyone came up to him complimenting me about how good I was, or how smart I was, which they knew from just knowing me. I could bible drill like a BEAST.
I think the most important lessons my parents have taught me, indirectly or directly, is how I should parent, what I should do for my children:
Don't raise your voice/scream/lose your cool,etc.
Always make sure your children know they are loved.
Time spent together is worth 10 times more than toys.
Your children's lives are not your own; they may believe different things, choose different things, think different ways, but always support them in their endeavors.
Concentrate more on their perfections more than their faults.
READ to your children.
Don't keep them in a bubble just because of your fear, it's weird going through life without ever breaking a bone.
Be a parent first, friend second.
What everyone else is allowed to do is RARELY the best thing to do.