It's been HOW LONG since I posted something?!
Not since January? Really? That's ridiculous.
I have been reading all your posts though, just haven't been commenting much.
I might as well tell you guys a story while I'm here.
Friday:
A customer dubbed "creepy breast pump man" comes in. I'll give you the back story or his cute nick-name; my co-worker Grant also works over at the Shopper's Drug Mart, and one day this elderly man comes in, buys a breast pump and a tub of vaseline, which were later found discarded in the men's bathroom. You can use your imagination on this one. Shudder. Also, this man has been kicked out of just about every store in the mall, including the grocery store for yelling at a woman to "shut her fucking kid up". Also, creepy breast pump man always wears short-shorts, suspenders and carries a knife in his back pocket.
On to friday, he stumbles int our store and starts looking at sweaters.He comes in looking for a new wristband that reads "SEXY", and after about 45 minutes, he buys that and a Marilyn Manson hoodie. I'm helping him the entire time, and it literally takes him about five minutes to try on this sweater. My co-worker, Shawn, had to go out back and laugh after he heard me trying to instruct him without actually touching him.
CBP man: "My arm doesn't work, you think that would make it easier to out it on, haha"
Me: "Try pulling the shoulder up."
CBP man: *fail*
Me: "Try pulling the hood up towards you neck"
CBP man: "is this right?"
Me: "No, now it's upside down"
Several annoying minutes later he leaves.
FLASH FORWARD A FEW HOURS
CBP man returns, telling us we sold him the wrong sweater. He points out the sweater he wanted (which ofcourse, was the one we sold him earlier), and instead of leaving when we point out it's the same hoodie, he lurks around for about another 15 minutes and picks out a DVD to buy. I ring him in, and before he goes to leave, he leans in and whispers;
CBP man: "Do you guys sell, uh, adult videos?"
Me: *uncomfortably* "uh, no"
CBP man: "does anywhere in Oromocto?"
Me: *very uncomfortably* "I don't know"
CBP man: "What about Fredericton?"
Me: "Probably".
CBP man: "It's not for me. It's for..."
*insert incredibly awkward 30-45 second pause*
...my son. He's getting married. It's for his bachelor party. Yep.".
THen he leaves, leaving me full of all kinds of gross images. This guy is always so creepy.
FAST FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY
I'm driving into town, I get a text message from Shawn that reads;
"Creepy breast man just got taken away by the cops for wearing a mini skirt with no underwear on..."
A mini SKIRT. What a ridiculously creepy old man.
And that's th end of my story, I guess. It would be more entertaining if I could act it out for you with voices and everything, oh well.
Ha, I'm at work, and Grant just came in and asked if we sold adult videos, just to be a jerk.
-jade.
.
My first time using a cut, hopefully it didn't screw up.
I have been reading all your posts though, just haven't been commenting much.
I might as well tell you guys a story while I'm here.
Friday:
A customer dubbed "creepy breast pump man" comes in. I'll give you the back story or his cute nick-name; my co-worker Grant also works over at the Shopper's Drug Mart, and one day this elderly man comes in, buys a breast pump and a tub of vaseline, which were later found discarded in the men's bathroom. You can use your imagination on this one. Shudder. Also, this man has been kicked out of just about every store in the mall, including the grocery store for yelling at a woman to "shut her fucking kid up". Also, creepy breast pump man always wears short-shorts, suspenders and carries a knife in his back pocket.
On to friday, he stumbles int our store and starts looking at sweaters.He comes in looking for a new wristband that reads "SEXY", and after about 45 minutes, he buys that and a Marilyn Manson hoodie. I'm helping him the entire time, and it literally takes him about five minutes to try on this sweater. My co-worker, Shawn, had to go out back and laugh after he heard me trying to instruct him without actually touching him.
CBP man: "My arm doesn't work, you think that would make it easier to out it on, haha"
Me: "Try pulling the shoulder up."
CBP man: *fail*
Me: "Try pulling the hood up towards you neck"
CBP man: "is this right?"
Me: "No, now it's upside down"
Several annoying minutes later he leaves.
FLASH FORWARD A FEW HOURS
CBP man returns, telling us we sold him the wrong sweater. He points out the sweater he wanted (which ofcourse, was the one we sold him earlier), and instead of leaving when we point out it's the same hoodie, he lurks around for about another 15 minutes and picks out a DVD to buy. I ring him in, and before he goes to leave, he leans in and whispers;
CBP man: "Do you guys sell, uh, adult videos?"
Me: *uncomfortably* "uh, no"
CBP man: "does anywhere in Oromocto?"
Me: *very uncomfortably* "I don't know"
CBP man: "What about Fredericton?"
Me: "Probably".
CBP man: "It's not for me. It's for..."
*insert incredibly awkward 30-45 second pause*
...my son. He's getting married. It's for his bachelor party. Yep.".
THen he leaves, leaving me full of all kinds of gross images. This guy is always so creepy.
FAST FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY
I'm driving into town, I get a text message from Shawn that reads;
"Creepy breast man just got taken away by the cops for wearing a mini skirt with no underwear on..."
A mini SKIRT. What a ridiculously creepy old man.
And that's th end of my story, I guess. It would be more entertaining if I could act it out for you with voices and everything, oh well.
Ha, I'm at work, and Grant just came in and asked if we sold adult videos, just to be a jerk.
-jade.
.
My first time using a cut, hopefully it didn't screw up.