Without A Trace Chapter One
April 20th 2011
Jared looked gorgeous this morning, he was a striking man and I never got tired of his beautiful hazel eyes, high cheekbones and floppy auburn hair. People think that he works out a lot with the body he has but I think it's all the anxiety about his family that has helped him keep his physique. He burns of the calories by worrying instead of jogging and he doesn't belong to a gym, not that we could afford one anyway.
I'm a mechanic and Jared is a social worker so were not exactly rolling in money. We have our house which is big enough for the two of us and only about a 25min drive from where Jared grew up, we have a car each both old but working perfectly thanks to my skills and we haven't been on holiday in years, but I believe we have a good life and we are happy most days.
“I have to go.” I said taking a sip of my now cold coffee.
“OK.... Jensen have you seen the spare keys?” Jared asked, pointing to the hook by the back door where the keys usually hung.
I Shrugged. “I might have left them in the living room, in the cabinet drawer?” I said as I moved up next to Jared. “See me off love.”
When we reached the door Jared spoke. “I saw that car again.”
The bloody car, there always seems to be a car
When Jared saw the expression on my face, he turned away from me. “You think I'm crazy.”
“I don't think your crazy Jay.”
“I have seen it 7 times so far Jensen, a red car.”
“What make was it?”
“It was a red Nissan Primera with tinted windows and when it drives past me it always slows down just a little bit.”
“Has the driver ever stopped and spoken to you?”
“No.”
“Look Jay it's just probably someone who's just moved to the area and doesn't know where their going yet.”
Jared just huffed at me then. “You’ve never taken these things as seriously as I do.”
I took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “OK look love were not going to solve this right now,” I said “I have to get going and so do you.”
I lifted Jared's chin gently so that our eyes could meet. “I love you more every day.”
“I know, I love you too,” he said. “I..... I know I’m not easy to live with.”
“I know,” I said. “I just want you to live for the present to and not always fixate on the past.”
I felt Jared's shoulders stiffen at my words and knew I had just said the wrong words. “Fixate?,” he said. “Is that what you think I fucking do? You think you know everything Jensen but you don't, you can't ever know how it feels.”
There wasn't much I could say to that because it was true so I just leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and went to work
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October 2006
Jared was first pointed out to me at south Bank University, my friend Steve during our morning English Lit class when he whispered to me. “That is one seriously fucked up guy, he's as hot as hell but majorly screwed up.”
Jared Padalecki was sitting down in the first row of the hall taking notes and Steve and I were up near the top so that we could leave quickly.
“What do you mean by fucked up?” I whispered.
“Do you remember a story a couple of years ago about a guy who's whole family disappeared and no one's seen them since?”
“No I didn't really read newspapers or watch the news at that point in my life.”
“Well his parents and his older sister they all vanished and there's been no sign of them since.” He whispered.
I leaned in closer and spoke quietly. “So what happened to them? Did they die?”
Steve shrugged. “Who the fuck knows, that what makes it so interesting.”
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It was the only class I shared with Jared as I was doing Mechanics and after asking around I learned that Jared was doing Social Work studies and Psychology. I was sitting outside on the university lawn reading my notes when I sensed someone standing in front of me.
“Why are you asking about me?” Jared said, His voice soft but confident.
“What?” I said.
“Someone told me you were asking about me,” he repeated. “You're Jensen Ackles right?”
I nodded.
“OK.... so why are you asking about me?”
I shrugged. “I don't know.”
“What do you actually want to know? Is there something specific, if there is just come out and ask me because I don't like people talking about me behind my back, I can always tell when they do.”
“Look I’m really sorry, I only....”
Jared interrupted me then. “You think I don't know that people talk about me?”
“God, what are you so paranoid for? I wasn't talking about you. I just wondered whether...” And once again I was cut of by Jared.
“What you wondered if I'm the one whose whole family vanished. Yes I am that one and now you can mind your own fucking business.”
“You know what Jared, fuck you. I asked a couple of people about you because I wanted to know if you were seeing anyone, they said no and now I can see why.”
He just stood there gaping at me as I got up and turned to go.
“I'm not.” He said.
I stopped at his voice. “You're not what?”
“Seeing anyone.” He replied as he swallowed.
Now I was feeling like I had been to harsh with him. “I didn't mean to be an arse-hole just then, you just seemed a bit touchy.” I said.
We agreed that he had been touchy and I had been an arse-hole and then somehow we ended up having a coffee in the local pie and mash place by where Jared lived with his aunt Sarah.
“Sarah is pretty decent, she didn't have to take me in when she was grieving just as much as me,” Jared said. “She's even putting me through uni and I don't know how she's doing it really, raising me and paying for school, she must be in debt up to her eyeballs but she never complains.”
“Damn.” I said as I took a sip of my coffee.
And that was the first time I had made Jared smile. “Damn,” he said. “Is that all you have to say Jensen?” and as quickly as his smile appeared it disappeared. “I'm sorry, I don't know what I expect people to say. I don't even know what the fuck I would say if I was sitting across from me.”
“I don't know how you handle it, I don't think I could.” Was my reply.
He looked out the window then just watching the people go by. “Sometimes I think I see one of them.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Like a ghost or something?”
“No definitely not,” he replied still looking out the window. “Like I’ll see someone that I think is my mother or father from behind, maybe the way they tilt their head or the way they stand and I’ll think it's similar too them somehow and I think it's them. Or I’ll see a girl maybe three years older than me who looks like she could be Meghan seven years later.”
“OK.” I said as I couldn't think of anything else to say to his words.
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We started hanging out a lot after that, we went to the movies, we worked together in the library and he even tried to get me interested in cricket which was a no no for me as I couldn't stand the game.
One day I was hunched over my typewriter which I preferred to a pc, typing up an essay that I didn't really give a fuck about. It didn't help my concentration much when Jared was lying in my bed under the covers fully clothed having fallen asleep reading.
I had invited him over to watch me type an essay how pathetic was that.
“It's quite interesting,” I said. “I have to use all ten fingers.”
“What at the same time?” Was his smart arse reply.
I nodded and smiled, so he bought over some of his own work to do and sat quietly on the bed, his back against the wall. We had been hanging out a lot but we had barely touched each other, I had let my hand brush his shoulder as I walked past him in the coffee shop and our shoulders had bumped when looking at the night sky but nothing more and it was driving me nuts.
I thought I heard the blanket move but I was consumed with writing my essay, then he was standing behind me, his presence electric, he slipped his hands around my chest and leaned down to kiss my cheek. I turned so that he could place his lips on mine and we shared our first kiss which started to grow with a burning intensity.
Our tongues were fighting for dominance, my hands started roaming over his chest as I stood up and tried to remove his shirt which I wasn't having much success with. Finally I removed it and started to tug at his nipples and smoothing my hand down his chest until I reached his jeans and felt his erection straining against the material, I gave him a gentle squeeze and Jared gasped breaking our kiss. I grinned then and began to undo the snap on Jared's jeans having far less trouble with this than I had with his shirt, I slipped my hands into the waistband of Jared's jeans and slipped them over his hips and down his legs along with his boxers.
Jared's cock sprang to attention in front of me and I gave a little chuckle as I ghosted my fingertips over his erection.
“What?” Jared asked as he gasped at the touch of my fingertips.
“Nothing.” I replied as I made my way down his body and engulfed him whole. Jared moaned and clutched at my shoulders as he bucked into my mouth, I expertly swallowed him down, swirling my tongue around the head when I pulled off, Jared tensed suddenly on the brink of orgasm. “Ah ah not yet.” I said with a satisfied grin as Jared cried out with frustration when I removed my mouth from his cock.
I stood up and pushed Jared down on to the bed as I started to strip, once I was fully naked I moved back to the bed and knelt between his knees. Jared sighed and pulled me down on top of him, forcing his tongue into my mouth and we both moaned at the feeling of skin on skin.
Jared reached down to stroke my painfully hard cock and whispered. “I want you inside me.... please.” As he lay on his back and opened his legs allowing me full access to him.
I slicked one finger with lube and slid it down the cleft of his arse gently probing the tight ring of muscles I found there. “Relax Jared,” I instructed him as I slowly breached his arse and began to thrust my finger slowly. “Hows that?” I asked. “Another one please Jen.” Jared replied with a tinge of pain his voice. I slipped in a second finger, he moaned in response and thrust back onto my fingers in his arse. I took that as a good sign and proceeded to add a third finger, Jared closed his eyes at that stretched to full capacity and started to emit little pleased noises in time with my thrusting fingers. “Enough.” I said impatiently and removed my fingers put on the condom and slid the head of my cock inside him.
Jared cried out sharply as I pushed into him only to withdraw a minute later then push back into him with a force that had me all the way in to the hilt. Both of us moaned aloud revelling in the feeling of taking and being taken.
I leaned over Jared kissing him tenderly. “How do you feel?” I asked with concern knowing this was his first time, Jared cupped my face and growled at me. “Fuck me now.” With a start I began plunging into him with a bone jarring rhythm. “Yes.” Jared cried out as he arched his back and tilted his hips up to meet my thrusts. I reached down to steady his hips as I thrust with more intensity, spasms of pleasure and sweat rolling down my spine. Jared rolled his hips against mine and then moaned as I hit his prostate head on, he dug his fingers into my back leaving broad red marks across my shoulder blades as I hit that spot over and over again.
I shifted my weight and wrapped my free hand around his cock pumping in time with my thrusts, suddenly Jared gave a sobbing cry and bit down on my shoulder. I thrust once.... twice more then came spilling into the condom as Jared's body pulsed around me, Jared's own orgasm spurted over both of our stomachs as we let out satisfied groans and then I collapsed onto him totally spent.
“Damn Jared we need to do that as often as possible.” I mumbled as I got rid of the condom and curled up behind him.
Later snuggled up under the blankets Jared said. “You can't hurt me.”
I looked at him puzzled. “I don't want to hurt you Jared.”
“I know,” he whispered. “But if you decide to dump me because you can't handle me don't worry. I can't be hurt any more than I already have been.”
I just nodded not knowing what else to say but as it would turn out he was very very wrong about that statement.
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Present day
I was thinking about all of this as I was driving to work, whenever I daydreamed I found it was often about my husbands past. When I reached work I saw Jeff Morgan my boss and one of my best friends since marrying Jared, Jeff was Gerald Padalecki's best friend before everything happened.
“Morning Jeff, you around later?” I asked.
“Yeah sure, what’s wrong?”
“Just stuff.”
He nodded at that knowing exactly what I meant. “Drop by my office after one OK.”
“Thanks, see you at one.” I said as I went to the floor and started on the cars that were there.
I found Jeff in his office staring off in to space, he looked over at me when I coughed to get his attention and motioned for me to sit down.
“How are you doing Jen? You look a bit off today.”
“Yep I’m a bit off today..... just the usual home stuff, Jared's having a hard time lately, he says there's a car.” I told him as I let out a sigh.
He looked a bit puzzled. “A car?”
I nodded. “Yes a red Nissan Primera, it's been by a couple of times when he's been out walking.”
“Has anything happened?”
“No.”
Jeff took a sip of his tea and cocked his head at me. “Well it has been thirteen years this month since they all went missing, it must be taking a toll on him.”
“Maybe,” I said. “And were also seeing a therapist every once in a while to talk about things.”
“How is that working out for you?”
I shrugged then asked. “What do you think happened to them Jeff?”
“How many times have you asked me that question Jensen?”
“Too many... I just wish this could all end for Jay, that he could get some sort of answers,” I paused then started again. “The thing is Jeff... you knew Gerald and Sherry.... did they seem like the kind of people to just walk out on their son?”
Jeff shook his head. “No, I still believe now what I have always believed and that is in my heart that they were murdered.”
I nodded my thanks to him for the talk then went back to work.
Chapter Two