boreeeed

Jul 13, 2005 22:09

I feel like sayin stuff. I guess that's the point of a journal...huh? I don't know where to start. I guess work? I haven't done much the past 2 weeks but just work my butt off. The money will definently be put into good use and I'm sooo excited. It's basically the only exciting thing in my life right now...
I've been tryin to learn from ppl....ppl I associate with lately. Being around them makes me realize how life should be and not what others want you to live it. I guess you can say I've learned a lot from the past and I'm learnin still but I'm startin to see who I am. I kinda lost myself after I graduated high school and I started to become this person I just wasn't.
I'm not interested much in guys, sex, partyin, drinkin, etc. I mean sure if there is a party goin on and I'm invited I will definently go....but I just dont feel it necessary anymore to just have that kinda fun. And of course the drinkin just HAS to be goin on at that party as well...lol. Sex...don't care for it. I really don't. Mostly bc it became this big ordeal the past 2 years and I'm just sick of it...not that I've done it but just yea....hmmm...Guys...well they will be guys and just prob either gross me out or I just don't trust them anymore yet. I'm havin a hard time gettin comfortable with a guy again....bein hurt sucks and unfortunately the past reflects all my thoughts towards guys now.
I've lost trust in a lot of ppl lately. They just straight out lie to me and it's like not cool at all. I dont know...I try to forget and ignore it but when I talk to them..I just can't. It's like lie to me so many times then I just can't believe you anymore. I dont knowwww. It just makes me sad...
What to dooo....
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