(no subject)
I feel the only thing I can do is just type how I feel on lj. I'm still goin on with no one to talk to, with no one to listen to me, with no one to help me. I'm really better off not being in Orlando anymore. Sometimes I just feel I'm better off not living. I'm tryin soo hard to concentrate on my school work this semester and already, I feel I'm behind bc I can't ready or study anything. It's hard to focus...it's hard esp thinkin I came back from Atlanta as a happy person. I guess I'm not so happy....esp since I still don't want to live anymore. I never thought I would feel that way...ever. The funny thing is that on the plane going there and comin back I prayed we would arrive safely. I just don't want to be this unhappy person anymore and live the way I do. It must mean I don't want to live right? Things are so complicated right now. I don't know how to find my happy place. All I keep thinkin is just..."some things were better left unsaid." The things that were said in the past and that are said now...it just should have been not said. I've regretted a LOT of things this past year and I would do anythin to take them back....anythin. I know with what happened is what turned into my depression. I seriously can't go on a day without cryin....and at the end of the day, I'm still alone.....