LJ Idol: Bupkis
“So what happened at school today?” my mom asks from the kitchen where she was scrubbing last night’s stubborn pot.
I throw my bookbag down on the floor next to the door and took a deep breath in before slowly letting it out. Amy’s vicious, sneering face looms in my mind. “You’re an ugly bitch,” she had said when she had begun one of her daily rants.
“Nothing,” I say. Nothing at all.
“Did anyone remember that it was your birthday?” she asks.
“Some people did,” I answer slowly. Daniel had. He was sweet about it. He had drawn me a picture of an anime boy surrounded by hearts. Eliza had known too. In fact, Eliza had comforted me in the girl’s locker room before going up to Amy and swearing at her.
“Did they say anything?”
Only that I was ugly, fat, and not worth living. Only that I should go jump in front of a bus.
I shrug my shoulders. “The usual,” I answer and busy myself with grabbing a package of Ritz crackers and a jar of peanut butter. My comfort food.
“Are you sure nothing happened?” my mom asks again, more gently this time.
She must see where I scrubbed the make-up off. I had been so excited to put on make-up today. Turning thirteen meant I could wear make-up. But I’m lying just like I do every other day. I say ‘fine’ and she says ‘okay’ and that’s how life goes. But she’s asking a different question for once.
“Nothing happened,” I stress. “It was boring, uneventful, and I hate math.”
There. That’s good. Move the topic to something else. Explain how math is miserable and it’ll seem like all the problems come from there.
“Math doesn’t make any sense,” I say, frustrated. “When am I going to use fractions or negative numbers in my life?”
We work on math because nothing happened. By the end of the day, I believe it too.
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Written for therealljidol
I throw my bookbag down on the floor next to the door and took a deep breath in before slowly letting it out. Amy’s vicious, sneering face looms in my mind. “You’re an ugly bitch,” she had said when she had begun one of her daily rants.
“Nothing,” I say. Nothing at all.
“Did anyone remember that it was your birthday?” she asks.
“Some people did,” I answer slowly. Daniel had. He was sweet about it. He had drawn me a picture of an anime boy surrounded by hearts. Eliza had known too. In fact, Eliza had comforted me in the girl’s locker room before going up to Amy and swearing at her.
“Did they say anything?”
Only that I was ugly, fat, and not worth living. Only that I should go jump in front of a bus.
I shrug my shoulders. “The usual,” I answer and busy myself with grabbing a package of Ritz crackers and a jar of peanut butter. My comfort food.
“Are you sure nothing happened?” my mom asks again, more gently this time.
She must see where I scrubbed the make-up off. I had been so excited to put on make-up today. Turning thirteen meant I could wear make-up. But I’m lying just like I do every other day. I say ‘fine’ and she says ‘okay’ and that’s how life goes. But she’s asking a different question for once.
“Nothing happened,” I stress. “It was boring, uneventful, and I hate math.”
There. That’s good. Move the topic to something else. Explain how math is miserable and it’ll seem like all the problems come from there.
“Math doesn’t make any sense,” I say, frustrated. “When am I going to use fractions or negative numbers in my life?”
We work on math because nothing happened. By the end of the day, I believe it too.
-
Written for therealljidol