imm freeaakkin OUT
im going to try and make this journal post the most honest one yet.
i fucking hate myself. i dont appreciate people enough. i fucking hate YOU!Ljk;sdflja;sdfljk AHHH!L:Jdf asfFuCK UOYSDOFu KL.
im really confusing to understand. i dont know what imt alking about half the time. i cant spell for shit and im not going to go back to correct my spelling errors.
im ugly.
really ugly.
and stupid.
i hate mornings. i hate how i feel in the mornings. i hate dreaming. i hate the fucked up thoughts i have. i hate having to come home when i dont want to. i hate my house. i hate being in it. a lot of bad memmories are in this house. i wish they would go away.
i hate feeling unwanted. i hate when i call someone and im too pussy to talk to them. that realy happens. im such an immature dumb fuck. i hate wanting to talk to somebody but feeling like ill only bother them or annoy them. or that maybe that person doesn't even likes me..but hates me. i guess i always feel insecure.
i hate my family (sometimes)
i hate that sore feeling you get in the back of your throat when your tyring really hard not to cry.
i hate seeing other people not get the things they deserve.
i hate it when i get a box of gummi worms and they are hard. i HATE THAT.
i always feel stupid when me and someone are talking about music and i bring up a band that i love and someoen else says they hate it and that it's stupid. ... that always makes me feel really dumb. i dont like to feel dumb.
i dont like it when my dad sleeps in the basement instead of in his room. it makes me feel like he is hiding from something. why cant he go in there and face my mom. why do people have to be that way that they have to hide from their problems.
i hate how im a hyprocrit. i hide from my problems all the time. i try and avoid confrontation. but by avoiding it i usually end up making it worse.
im always in denial about something. but i have a lot of love. i know i do. i have a big heart. i care about people too much, even ones i shouldn't care about at all. is that a weakness?
why do i care what people think about me. probably becuase wheni was younger i always had low self esteem and constantly felt like a reject, now that im older i want to beleive that i am accepted and loved.
i deserve to die. im worthless and useless. im not good for anything. and i bitch a lot too. i need to learn to shut my fucking mouth and fucking die.
(((((((love))))))))
levi... <3 im sorry.