(no subject)
Dear Mom,
I don't know why i crave your approval so much but i do. It seems that each time I get some praise from you it is soon followed by some sort of put down or backhanded compliment. At this time in my life I understand that you and dad are helping me out tremendously ,but does that really give you the right to through it up in my face every chance you get?
Growing up you always said how much it hurt you when Nonnie and Aunt Pat said things to put you down and you said that you would never do that. Well guess what? I appreciate that you loaned the money to get my car fixed and I never once complained that it took so long to get fixed. I was and am SO thankful that you allowed me to use daddy's car while mine was getting fixed. I even drove down to New Haven from Bristol to pick you up from your Dr's appointment so daddy wouldn't be late for his appointment. I never complained but worried that i was putting the two of you out. I was always worried about leaving you two with only one car. Why is it that today when i got my car back all you had to say to me after I cleaned YOUR house was "Thank God she got her car back so she can stop bitching and complaining". Did I really deserve that? When you offer things to me I say know and then you tell me to stop being stubborn and just let her help. When I say that I don't want it to get through back in my face you start to cry. I can't seem to win. If I argue back you take it out on daddy.
I guess I am just going to suck it up and cry to George and Karl. All I know is that I am being the best damn daughter I know how to be. I know in my heart of hearts that I love you through all your faults and insults.
No matter how you treat me I know you still love me and always will even though you have a funny way of showing it.
I don't know why i crave your approval so much but i do. It seems that each time I get some praise from you it is soon followed by some sort of put down or backhanded compliment. At this time in my life I understand that you and dad are helping me out tremendously ,but does that really give you the right to through it up in my face every chance you get?
Growing up you always said how much it hurt you when Nonnie and Aunt Pat said things to put you down and you said that you would never do that. Well guess what? I appreciate that you loaned the money to get my car fixed and I never once complained that it took so long to get fixed. I was and am SO thankful that you allowed me to use daddy's car while mine was getting fixed. I even drove down to New Haven from Bristol to pick you up from your Dr's appointment so daddy wouldn't be late for his appointment. I never complained but worried that i was putting the two of you out. I was always worried about leaving you two with only one car. Why is it that today when i got my car back all you had to say to me after I cleaned YOUR house was "Thank God she got her car back so she can stop bitching and complaining". Did I really deserve that? When you offer things to me I say know and then you tell me to stop being stubborn and just let her help. When I say that I don't want it to get through back in my face you start to cry. I can't seem to win. If I argue back you take it out on daddy.
I guess I am just going to suck it up and cry to George and Karl. All I know is that I am being the best damn daughter I know how to be. I know in my heart of hearts that I love you through all your faults and insults.
No matter how you treat me I know you still love me and always will even though you have a funny way of showing it.