Eifersucht
A growing hue of red and black stirrs upon us. Thos are the colors that i see at least. The perception of this mindless emotion seems to creep upon even the strongest of humans. For this, hypocrisy prevents me from condemning the irrationals, for i am as well. Speaking out of my mind rather than my mouth for once, ive taken a moment to reflect. WE both see this, her and i, this, growing sensation of mindless plunder. A tack in the brain, itching my perceptions of the world, feeling only insecurities, seeing only threats, devolving my maturity. She feels it as well; we both do.
I know myself all too well, though this has come to my surprise. Using every trick in the book to prevent my rational to wither, it seems this time around, i am all too perplexed by...
..it is the itch again. Hightening the senses, warping the reality. Other species don't percieve like this. Why must we?
Do we not understand? Or do we understand all too well? Do i understand? Do i even know? Why now, and not before?
She can enter my gelatine universe, and i can feel her presence as clear as day. The sensation embodies me, as she aproaches me. Just a press of her lips, and i am weakened by my mortality. Unthinkable it is that i can feel so fragile, yet so unbreakable.
Yet...i am uneased with what the opposite can do to me.
I read an old entry by someone who, before me, shared....time, with the one that i love. time, however, is just a modest word. The entry was written well after her and i had fallen for each other. In his audacious declaration, he speaks of 'two loves in preparation for each other'.
As i read this, i began to feel sick inside, as unwaivering threads of my soul pulled in remarkable tensity. The mere thought that he can compare his paper-thin luv to my overwhelming love for her is absolutely nauseating.
Aware of my senses, i believe i have found the opposites of the 3 corners of my universe: love, compassion, balance; hatred, indifference, jealousy. Jealousy throws the mind and heart into chaos, imbalance, and allows for irrational behavior.
We are both surprised by our recent immaturities; we've never felt this before. but that is only because we've never loved like this before. Our jealousy towards the hollow threats of the outside world is to the fact that we love each other....indescribably. For this, we will not let such a petty thing be our downfall.
I love you.
I know myself all too well, though this has come to my surprise. Using every trick in the book to prevent my rational to wither, it seems this time around, i am all too perplexed by...
..it is the itch again. Hightening the senses, warping the reality. Other species don't percieve like this. Why must we?
Do we not understand? Or do we understand all too well? Do i understand? Do i even know? Why now, and not before?
She can enter my gelatine universe, and i can feel her presence as clear as day. The sensation embodies me, as she aproaches me. Just a press of her lips, and i am weakened by my mortality. Unthinkable it is that i can feel so fragile, yet so unbreakable.
Yet...i am uneased with what the opposite can do to me.
I read an old entry by someone who, before me, shared....time, with the one that i love. time, however, is just a modest word. The entry was written well after her and i had fallen for each other. In his audacious declaration, he speaks of 'two loves in preparation for each other'.
As i read this, i began to feel sick inside, as unwaivering threads of my soul pulled in remarkable tensity. The mere thought that he can compare his paper-thin luv to my overwhelming love for her is absolutely nauseating.
Aware of my senses, i believe i have found the opposites of the 3 corners of my universe: love, compassion, balance; hatred, indifference, jealousy. Jealousy throws the mind and heart into chaos, imbalance, and allows for irrational behavior.
We are both surprised by our recent immaturities; we've never felt this before. but that is only because we've never loved like this before. Our jealousy towards the hollow threats of the outside world is to the fact that we love each other....indescribably. For this, we will not let such a petty thing be our downfall.
I love you.