Well, at least my Soji & The Scooby Gang The Investigation Team muses are working properly. But at the same time, this is my first foray into the P4 fandom in terms of ficcage. Yyyyyyeah, this probably isn't going to go well for me.
Title: Mind as Judgment (Part 1/8)
Universe: Persona 4
Pairings/Characters: Soji/Yosuke, Izanagi!Soji/Yosuke, Chie/Yukiko, Rise/Naoto, Kanji/Naoki, Teddie, Dojima, Nanako, Namatame, Adachi, Izanami, Igor, Margaret
Summary: How do you seek the truth when the entire world becomes a lie?
Rating: light R
Warnings: MASSIVE spoilers for November and December, disturbing themes, violence, non-graphic smut but it's still smut
Notes: After doing a little research on the MegaTen series and finding out that in SMT1 the hero is a reincarnated Izanagi, I kind of applied the concept to Soji's character, so you could consider this AU? God knows how this is going to pan out, though. I'm bracing for the worst.
I. hypnos -illusion-
They said they didn't know how long they would be able to keep her alive in her newfound comatose state; they didn't even know how it happened in the first place, and even if they----and more importantly Dojima----knew the full truth behind the Midnight Channel, they still wouldn't understand the brevity of Nanako's condition. That was what pissed off Soji the most, besides his own guilt towards not being more proactive in getting his little cousin out of the TV world rather than attempting to get answers out of that bastard Namatame. Dojima, like always, played the good soldier, putting on a brave face for his beloved daughter and choosing to trust in her inner strength to pull through for her. He even went so far as to attempt to confront Namatame in his own broken, battered physical state, but Soji was well aware that in his uncle's heart of hearts, the man teetered on the brink of an emotional meltdown.
"Without her...I wouldn't have a reason to live." Indeed, Nanako was the only thing Dojima had left in his life. She was the last remnant he had of Chisato, of a family in general; the only barrier between himself and the abyss of loneliness and self-loathing.
(.....How the hell can we possibly find the real murderer when can't even figure out how to get Nanako back?) Soji thought ruefully as he stood in the foggy cold by the bus stop near the hospital, having returned from visiting Nanako and Dojima. Her condition hadn't improved, as expected. The doctors were growing more and more pessimistic, and Dojima himself became more stubborn, yet the cracks began to show in his armor of convincing himself that dammit, she'll be okay; the nurses informed Soji that the detective wasn't eating and refused to take his medication.
And then there was the matter of Teddie, who mysteriously vanished the day Nanako fell into a coma after the team, in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions and stilted logic, managed to realize that Namatame, in fact, wasn't the killer they were pursuing. As the team's resident bright spot and go-to guy for comic relief, his disappearance left behind a big, black void within their ranks, which didn't help matters much. The others were kicking themselves just as hard as Soji was himself for letting Namatame---and in turn, the true murderer---gain the upper hand in harming Nanako, and Teddie's (mostly) innocent blunders and irrepressible optimism helped to alleviate the stress of those kinds of situations. Heck, even Dojima could've used the near-wasteful cheerfulness of that dumb bear.
Soji admitted he took Teddie's cries of "sensei!" for granted; he truly missed them now, needed them now, needed Teddie around in general now. Not only was he the resident team cheerleader, but his knowledge of the TV world, the Shadows lurking there, and his ability to sniff (literally) out certain clues complemented Rise's role in using Kanzeon to track down and scan enemies. Even in terms of strategy, they'd all hit a rut. Which only added to Soji's anger; now what would they do?
Izanagi let out a rather condescending laugh from within his psyche. Why are you even agonizing over that child in the first place? Her soul has been taken into the realm of the dead, but you have no way of entering there, and thus no way of saving her. Lying in a dreamless sleep is hardly living; you should tell those 'doctors' to put the poor girl out of her misery already. She's a liability to you and your uncle at this rate, no?
Soji let out a growl. "...As usual, you're of absolutely no help, Izanagi." He muttered. "And pulling the plug on Nanako isn't happening. I will save her; I get the feeling you actually know how----you gave it away yourself."
Oh?
"You said that her soul is now 'in the realm of the dead.' Do you mean the TV world?"
...Perhaps. Izanagi responded cryptically. I will, however, tell you this: it's just a hunch. I'm not certain if the little one's soul is now imprisoned within Yomotsu Hirasaka; she may be deluding my senses.
"'She'?" Soji inquired, frowning.
Yes, her. My greatest mistake---my burden. I do not doubt that she has a hand in all of this. But even if she has indeed trapped the girl, like I said before, you have no way of entering Yomotsu Hirasaka. Now without that creature's sense of scent.
Soji crossed his arms and looked up at the sky, which was a sickly shade of olive with pus-colored clouds meandering about, no thanks to the strange fog. "...You mean Teddie." He said after a slight pause. "But you didn't answer my other question; who is this...'she' you're referring to?"
...I cannot tell you. Izanagi rather hesitantly, his voice going a bit faint. That...you must find out on your own.
"You're a crappy liar. You just don't want to tell me."
Another laugh. But of course I am----I am you, after all.
Soji's jaw tightened. ".......No." He said firmly. "You're not. I wouldn't lie to myself."
How insolent. Izanagi growled. And you are lying to yourself right now---you cannot save that child, and you cannot break the fog. Not when you are missing the pieces you need to solve the overall puzzle. Or are you saying you'll dare try to find Yomotsu Hirasaka without that creature of the rest of your friends, you selfish fool?
Soji closed his eyes and laughed bitterly.
".....Maybe I am, because I don't want to risk----or rather, further risk----their lives for my selfish goals. I'll say it again: I will save Nanako, I will find the real killer, and I will make the fog disappear once and for all."
He clenched his fists as he continued, "Even without them. Even without you."