Insecurities
So I'm just going to ramble a bit on here about some insecurities I'm feeling currently. I figure not too many pple keep their eyes on my LJ so I'm free to be a little bit more open and not worry that people think I might be fishing for compliments. I'm human like any other person and yeah I have them and well I feel that when and if I post a journal in the art communities about this, well that people think I'm looking for compliments and such to boost my ego. I'm not trust me! But I just find it helps sometimes to just post things and thoughts. Kinda helps clear out the cobwebs and such.
So basically lately I've been really insecure about my work. Yes it's nice getting compliments and well I've had a few new people watch me in various galleries so again that must be a good thing. But that doesn't help my insecurities. It always boils down to some type of comparison and I'm sure it's cause we're our worst critic. I'd probably really like my work if I didn't know it was mine lmao! But I do and well in knowing I also compare (not style....I like my style) but skill level. I'm just not there and I feel that in some ways I'm falling behind and or not progressing. This could be due to a lot of things but well this is what's been floating in my head for a few weeks.
I'd gone through this funk a week or so back and I'm sure these thoughts were the trigger. It also doesn't help that my birthday is within a few months and well I'm not getting any younger. I've also taken a look at several points these last few months and just notice a lack of creativity. I feel my drawings are stiff and sometimes a bit lifeless. I've been told otherwise but remember this is the way I see my own work. So yeah I've had the Envious monster creep on me for the past month or so and I honestly hate it. I don't want to change my style I just want to gain more skills. I want to improve! I know I have no doubt but there's always room to improve. I draw and work on my art EVERY day! Not just to push myself but it's something I need and enjoy! But well it's hard to push the insecurities away when there's a world full of amazing artists and worse...younger. They have more time than what I have or will ever have. Guess that means I have to work a little harder for now...hehehe.
Anyways.....I don't plan to quit, HAHAHA!!!! NEVER!!!!!! But that doesn't mean I'm not supposed to have the worries and such that comes along with life. So if you read this, sorry I bored your ass but well like I said....gotta air out the brain from time to time. Love on ya guys!
So basically lately I've been really insecure about my work. Yes it's nice getting compliments and well I've had a few new people watch me in various galleries so again that must be a good thing. But that doesn't help my insecurities. It always boils down to some type of comparison and I'm sure it's cause we're our worst critic. I'd probably really like my work if I didn't know it was mine lmao! But I do and well in knowing I also compare (not style....I like my style) but skill level. I'm just not there and I feel that in some ways I'm falling behind and or not progressing. This could be due to a lot of things but well this is what's been floating in my head for a few weeks.
I'd gone through this funk a week or so back and I'm sure these thoughts were the trigger. It also doesn't help that my birthday is within a few months and well I'm not getting any younger. I've also taken a look at several points these last few months and just notice a lack of creativity. I feel my drawings are stiff and sometimes a bit lifeless. I've been told otherwise but remember this is the way I see my own work. So yeah I've had the Envious monster creep on me for the past month or so and I honestly hate it. I don't want to change my style I just want to gain more skills. I want to improve! I know I have no doubt but there's always room to improve. I draw and work on my art EVERY day! Not just to push myself but it's something I need and enjoy! But well it's hard to push the insecurities away when there's a world full of amazing artists and worse...younger. They have more time than what I have or will ever have. Guess that means I have to work a little harder for now...hehehe.
Anyways.....I don't plan to quit, HAHAHA!!!! NEVER!!!!!! But that doesn't mean I'm not supposed to have the worries and such that comes along with life. So if you read this, sorry I bored your ass but well like I said....gotta air out the brain from time to time. Love on ya guys!