"Never Been Kissed"
Cue rant-
I don't know if it's because I'm on my period, or if I'm tired, or if it's just one of those days, or maybe it's the fact that the guy I had a crush on has a girlfriend, but I just really want a boyfriend right now. I'm sick of people telling me to "just wait" for the right guy to come along. Or the people that just brush me off and tell me that I'm just being stupid or emo. For all the people that told me that, all of THEM have had boyfriends/girlfriends. All of THEM have had some form a special relationshipwith another person. And I just really want to have that feeling too. To know that if I'm feeling down or if I'm sick or tired that I can just call my boyfriend and be comforted by his voice. Or that I don't have to feel like the third wheel with a friend that has a boyfriend/girlfriend. That I can just cuddle with someone that is not just a friend. I know that there isn't anything wrong with me, but sometimes I just get that stupid little nagging thing in the back of my mind that says: "You're just lying to yourself. There IS something wrong with you." And then I go and make a list of all the reasons why I'm that little wallflower no one sees. I hate that feeling but nowadays, with all my friends having boyfriends/girlfriends or they're pretty enough to get whoever they want, it just makes me feel...alone. Of course I'm glad for them. I'm glad they have that somebody. I just wish..that I had that somebody. Right now I feel like my life is a mushed up pile of "Never Been Kissed", "Princess Diaries", and "Pride and Prejudice". I don't want to wait till I'm forty to be kissed, I don't want to be a princess to some random country (I can not be politician to save my life), and I don't have a sassy mouth and a pretty face. I'm just me and most days I like that! But some days are just... feeling like I should just sit in my room and read my books all day. I'm always embarassed when I see myself in the mirror without makeup. Uncompared to everyone else who can just roll out of bed and go to class or school or whatever, I can't do that. I look sick whenever I don't have eyebrows brushed on or when I don't have some eyeliner to cover up the fact I have no eyelashes. Somedays I wish I could just wake up, walk out, and meet my Mr. Darcy. *sigh* Whatever. I'm just being stupid and emotional.
End rant.
In other news, the weather here is extremely hot. Dad checked the temperature and told me that it was 100 degrees. *melts* It times like this where you wish you were in Ireland, living on the beach, or have a pool to soak in. Oh well. I believe I'll be going to the beach tomorrow with Mikey and the others, but we'll see. It's probably going to be jam packed, but whatever. Still the beach. (Even though I am STILL voting to see Kung Fu Panda instead).
I'm still on the lookout for a job and I think I'll go Saturday instead. There are a few places in town that I am a bit interested to check out, of course I want to see the hotels, and depending on the weather I might just drive around for a wee bit and see what else interests me.
I don't know if it's because I'm on my period, or if I'm tired, or if it's just one of those days, or maybe it's the fact that the guy I had a crush on has a girlfriend, but I just really want a boyfriend right now. I'm sick of people telling me to "just wait" for the right guy to come along. Or the people that just brush me off and tell me that I'm just being stupid or emo. For all the people that told me that, all of THEM have had boyfriends/girlfriends. All of THEM have had some form a special relationshipwith another person. And I just really want to have that feeling too. To know that if I'm feeling down or if I'm sick or tired that I can just call my boyfriend and be comforted by his voice. Or that I don't have to feel like the third wheel with a friend that has a boyfriend/girlfriend. That I can just cuddle with someone that is not just a friend. I know that there isn't anything wrong with me, but sometimes I just get that stupid little nagging thing in the back of my mind that says: "You're just lying to yourself. There IS something wrong with you." And then I go and make a list of all the reasons why I'm that little wallflower no one sees. I hate that feeling but nowadays, with all my friends having boyfriends/girlfriends or they're pretty enough to get whoever they want, it just makes me feel...alone. Of course I'm glad for them. I'm glad they have that somebody. I just wish..that I had that somebody. Right now I feel like my life is a mushed up pile of "Never Been Kissed", "Princess Diaries", and "Pride and Prejudice". I don't want to wait till I'm forty to be kissed, I don't want to be a princess to some random country (I can not be politician to save my life), and I don't have a sassy mouth and a pretty face. I'm just me and most days I like that! But some days are just... feeling like I should just sit in my room and read my books all day. I'm always embarassed when I see myself in the mirror without makeup. Uncompared to everyone else who can just roll out of bed and go to class or school or whatever, I can't do that. I look sick whenever I don't have eyebrows brushed on or when I don't have some eyeliner to cover up the fact I have no eyelashes. Somedays I wish I could just wake up, walk out, and meet my Mr. Darcy. *sigh* Whatever. I'm just being stupid and emotional.
End rant.
In other news, the weather here is extremely hot. Dad checked the temperature and told me that it was 100 degrees. *melts* It times like this where you wish you were in Ireland, living on the beach, or have a pool to soak in. Oh well. I believe I'll be going to the beach tomorrow with Mikey and the others, but we'll see. It's probably going to be jam packed, but whatever. Still the beach. (Even though I am STILL voting to see Kung Fu Panda instead).
I'm still on the lookout for a job and I think I'll go Saturday instead. There are a few places in town that I am a bit interested to check out, of course I want to see the hotels, and depending on the weather I might just drive around for a wee bit and see what else interests me.