Brave Disorder by Louise Lux (Antique Bakery, Ono/Chikage)
Title: Brave Disorder
Fandom: Antique Bakery, Ono/Chikage
Author: Clovis
Recipient: White Clover
Rating: mild m/m
Warnings: spoilers for all four volumes of the manga
Summary: Ono visits Chi and discovers he is far from the perfect housekeeper. His helpless attraction to Chikage surfaces, despite his best intentions.
Brave Disorder
The oven timer rang. It was loud and shrill, like a school bell.
"Will you take the pain au chocolat out now, please?" Ono called.
He looked over his shoulder to see Tachibana leaning in the kitchen doorway, half in and half out, attention apparently focussed on the door to the shop, even though it was only just 12 and no one was here yet. It was Friday-- slow early on and then hectic in the afternoons. Tachibana looked round, showing the dark circles under his eyes. They'd be really pushed later on, with just the two of them.
"Are you okay?" Ono asked.
"Oh. Yeah. Fine."
Ono turned back and carried on kneading dough for the croissants. Tachibana had been so quiet recently. It was understandable, what with the drama of the missing kid and the whole abduction business. He closed his eyes for a second and pictured Tachibana all those years ago. Poor boy. Something like that would give anyone restless nights. Bad dreams. Especially if that awful man had done things… Molested him.
He tried to set what he knew now against the Tachibana he'd known in high school. That confident gorgeous young man who Ono had not even known the first thing about. Who Ono had loved. Or rather, he'd loved the illusion, hadn't he? It was so long ago now-- nearly fifteen years.
He pressed out the dough and began to cut it into squares. It was silky and smooth under his fingers, buttery and sweet smelling, just as it should be. Tachibana clattered the metal baking sheet out of the oven and down onto the grey marble counter.
"Is Chi okay?" he asked, not looking this time.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, he hasn't been here much-- not for two weeks now," Ono said.
"I rang him last night. Again. He said his apartment still needs sorting out. "
Ono heard the metallic whoosh and scrape of a spatula on steel: Tachibana moving each pastry onto the cooling rack, one by one, every movement economical and neat. Ono didn't have to look.
"It's taking a long time."
"Huh. Yeah." Another whoosh scrape. "He's probably not eating right."
"Oh dear. Poor Chi. I do hope he's all right."
Whoosh scrape.
"You should take him some stuff from the shop. Feed him up or something."
"I should?"
"Yeah," said Tachibana. His shoulders looked weirdly stiff. "He'd like it. Save me having to do it."
"Ah. He-- I see."
Only he didn't really see at all. Ono gazed down at his croissant dough, remembering their ridiculous adventure in the hotel room and Chi's weight pressing him down. Now Tachibana wanted him to visit Chi in his apartment. Where they might sit close together on the sofa, for example. Except Ono wasn't going to think about doing things like that with Chi.
"Go today. Leave an hour early."
"Oh my heavens," Ono said, looking over. Tachibana was standing at the window, looking out. "Did you hit your head?"
"Hey, is it so unusual if I'm concerned about my staff?"
"Well, how do I say this? Yes."
Tachibana shook his head and Ono thought he was about to say something else, but he didn't. Instead he came over to the preparation area.
"D'you need me to finish off the limon tartes?" he said, propping one hip against the counter.
"Yes please, and then the tray of savarin."
Tachibana reached for the sweetened lemon peel and the chocolate shavings and didn’t say anything else.
***
"I'm here to visit Mr Chikage. Apartment number seven," Ono said, several hours later. He spoke into a chromed intercom panel set next to the door.
"Please enter," a voice said, after a lengthy pause.
It had been reduced to an electronic croak. It wasn't Chikage, so it must be the concierge. Ono had no idea Chi got paid so much, to afford such a fancy apartment. Maybe Tachibana had coughed up a bonus or something. He could be generous sometimes. Occasionally. Secretly. But that was one of his charms, wasn't it? With Tachibana, so much was hidden. Handsome, clever, well dressed, rich. And pretty sad, even with someone like Chi to help him into his pyjamas at night.
He bit his lip at the bright and shiny images that leapt into his mind. Chi, Tachibana, pyjamas. It was too easy. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed: hands straying over naked skin, surprised gasps, the pyjamas slipping down over hard muscular thighs--
Ono shook his head, as if he could dislodge the images. It would be far better for his mental health if he stopped this, right now. He cleared his throat and gripped the small paper bag he was carrying more tightly, and attempted to force the thoughts of them together from his mind.
"Stop it," he muttered to himself, when it didn’t work.
The elevator pinged and the door opened. He stepped into a brushed steel cube, with smoked mirrors on two walls. Ono frowned at his reflection. Not bad, even if he did have a streak of icing sugar in his hair and a couple more wrinkles than last year. He brushed the sugar away and ran a hand over his hair. No grey, yet. But he wasn't getting any younger. None of them were.
Chi's door stood open. It was made of dark wood, sleek and modern, with a shiny new nameplate.
"Hello," he said, pushing at the door with his fingertips. It swung inwards. "Chikage?" A vision of Chikage unconscious on the floor floated up into his mind. Then he heard a clattering sound and a crash of china, and then, more faintly, Chi's voice. He was chiding himself in a way that sounded uncannily like Tachibana.
Ono pushed the door wide. Chi's apartment was sleek and modern, and at one end of the open plan living area there was a kitchen, decorated with glossy black and white tiles.
"Chi, are you-- Oh."
Chi was there, staring at the floor. He looked up and a beautiful smile broke across his face. Ono's chest tightened, just from the sight of it.
"Mr Ono," he said.
Soap suds dripped from his fingers onto the remains of what looked like a casserole dish. He had a black apron on, like the one he wore to work. The ends of the ties flapped around his knees. Under the apron he wore a white t-shirt and jeans. He wore his sunglasses, and looked like a yakuza on his day off. Apart from the look of shocked joy that was written on his face. Tachibana had been right, as usual.
"I bought pumpkin scones," Ono said, holding up his paper bag. "But if I've come at a bad time… "
He tailed off, taking in the piles of magazines on the floor, the socks draped over a chair back, shaving foam sitting in crusted blobs on the living room carpet. Dishes filled the tiny sink and were tumbled on the surfaces.
"No. I'm so happy you came," Chi said, beaming. He stepped forward and shards of broken pot crunched underfoot. His face fell and he raised his hands in what looked like an involuntary gesture of shock. "Oh. I mean, I need to tidy up," he said, his shoulders sagging.
"You don’t need to, just for me," Ono said, taking a step forward. Something squished underfoot and he didn't even dare look. "Or. Well, maybe you do, a bit." He watched Chi's face fall. "But why don’t I help you?"
It was worth it just for the happy smile it won him.
"Oh, yes! That would be wonderful."
A vivid picture of Tachibana and Chi's home life popped into his head: Tachibana taking care of everything, cooking, cleaning, washing. Like a good housewife. He didn't know whether to cry or laugh at that. Chi needed someone, that was clear.
***
It didn’t take very long to clear the kitchen, although the stove needed scrubbing hard where pans had boiled over. He attacked it with a scouring pad while Chi swept the floor and put things in cupboards. The living room took longer.
"Have you lived alone before?" Ono asked, as they gathered what seemed like most of Chi's clothing from various part of the floor. He had a whole armful of towels, which had been mysteriously piled on top of the TV.
Chi looked down at the pair of tennis shoes he was holding and shrugged.
"No. I-- I never wanted to," he said.
Not like Ono, who had needed to. He wanted to ask why Chikage had moved out now.
"Where shall we put all these clothes?" he said, instead.
"Umm. In my bedroom?"
Ono's treacherous little heart picked up its pace.
"You'd better show me the way," he said, smiling.
Chi was so tall and slim and lovely, and he moved so well. Apart from the times he walked into doorways. Ono tried not to watch his bottom move in those rather well fitting jeans, but gave in.
Chi's bedroom was small and bare. The sheets were all twisted off the bed and it didn't look very comfortable.
"Here," Ono said. "You fold these clothes and put them in the cupboard. I'll make the bed."
Chi stood there, arms overflowing and eyes wide.
"Mr Ono-- you're doing too much."
"Oh, hush," Ono said, loud and bright. "I'm really not."
"My lord always told me I had to learn to do things like this by myself."
But then Tachibana probably watched for about a second before he did it all himself anyway, Ono thought. It was too easy to imagine, like the thing with pyjamas. He took a breath.
"You can learn by watching my example then," Ono said. "Have you got clean sheets?"
Chi found some: plain white cotton and still in their plastic wrapping, along with pillowcases and fresh blankets. It didn't take long, and he instructed Chi to take the pile of dirty ones to the washing machine. He opened the window wide, ran a duster over the few surfaces and fetched in the vacuum cleaner, and, all right, he was spending far too much time in here.
"It's-- it looks completely different," Chi said, when he came back. He gazed down at the bed and then back up at Ono.
"Isn’t this so much more civilised?" Ono swept a hand through his hair and smiled. "Now you can really enjoy yourself in here."
"I can?"
"Oh, yes. In all sort of exciting ways."
He watched as Chi began to blush. He really was so handsome it was almost painful.
"You mean-- in-- in-- sex ways?" Chi said, clenching his hands in to tight nervous fists as if he hadn’t expected to hear himself say that.
He ignored the little voice that told him to stop. Chi had got rid of the apron but he still had his dark glasses on. Ono wanted to reach out and touch the bare skin of his forearm.
Ono's throat was dry. Chi, with the bed, and Chi standing so close, with his mouth open a little like that.
"Do you want to try it?" he heard himself say. "The bed," he added. The silence in the room buzzed in his ears. He shouldn’t be doing this. He just couldn't seem to make himself stop. He tried to imagine what Tachibana would say if he walked in now, but only got as far as imagining a slap to the face and, really, he might deserve it. When Chi didn't move he held out his hand. "Come here."
Three slow steps and Chi was there. Then he raised his hand and lightly touched Ono's fingers, as if they might burn him.
"Why? Are you-- tired?" he said.
"Yes," Ono said, brushing his thumb over the back of Chi's hand.
It wasn't a lie, at least, and then his heart was in his throat because Chi was walking him slowly backwards, hardly touching but looming over him as if there was no escape. How wonderful, Ono thought, as the back of his knees hit the bed and he tumbled down in a slow breathless fall. He caught Chi's hand, tight, and tugged him down with him. They landed with a thump, Chi on top.
"Oh. Oh," Chi said and then didn’t seem to be able to say anything else, although his mouth was making enticing little movements.
Ono reached up and carefully took Chi's glasses off. Chi's eyes were the colour of bitter chocolate and they were framed with lashes that showed spiky and dark against his pale skin. He could feel Chi's long legs pressed against his, warm and solid.
"Will you kiss me?" Ono said, gazing up at him. Chi blinked at him and just stared. He wrinkled his brow and looked worried. He can’t be surprised, not after the sex comment, Ono thought. He slipped his arms around Chi's neck, drawing him closer. "I mean, if you want," he added.
"I do," Chi said in a rush. He bent his head and shifted, moving his weight. His thigh fell between Ono's legs and that was-- oh. Ono curled his fingers into Chi's shoulders. "It's just-- You don't have to ask me," Chi said, very softly, against his ear. His voice shook. "You never have to ask me."
It was true in a way that sent a queasy jolt through Ono's stomach. He could take what he wanted, any time. He tightened his arms around Chi's shoulders and pressed his face into his neck, knowing he was clutching but not being able to stop. Chi made a soft noise. He stroked a hand over Ono's hair.
Chi smelled of soap and of expensive aftershave that Ono was certain Tachibana had bought for him. His skin was warm and smooth and Ono wanted touch him all over, but he thought that he wasn't going to, at least not tonight. Or tomorrow. He'd wait until he was the one who had to ask. Even if that thought made him ache all over.
"How come you're always so clever?" he whispered.
"But you know I'm not," Chi said, pulling back a tiny bit to watch him. They looked at each other. He watched as Chi's gaze moved to his mouth. "Mr Ono?"
"Yes, Chi? You should call me Yuey, you know."
Chi shook his head. "Do you still want me to-- kiss you?" he said.
Ono thought about how much he wanted to say yes. "Very much," he said, closing his eyes. "But, you know, I'm feeling really quite sleepy. Can we just--" He opened his eyes. "Can we just lie here?"
Chi nodded, as if he understood perfectly, as if he was used to this kind of request. They rolled and shifted. His arms came round Ono, strong and comforting, and Ono pressed his face to Chi's chest. He felt gentle touches on his hair and slowly, little by little, he drifted to sleep.
Fandom: Antique Bakery, Ono/Chikage
Author: Clovis
Recipient: White Clover
Rating: mild m/m
Warnings: spoilers for all four volumes of the manga
Summary: Ono visits Chi and discovers he is far from the perfect housekeeper. His helpless attraction to Chikage surfaces, despite his best intentions.
Brave Disorder
The oven timer rang. It was loud and shrill, like a school bell.
"Will you take the pain au chocolat out now, please?" Ono called.
He looked over his shoulder to see Tachibana leaning in the kitchen doorway, half in and half out, attention apparently focussed on the door to the shop, even though it was only just 12 and no one was here yet. It was Friday-- slow early on and then hectic in the afternoons. Tachibana looked round, showing the dark circles under his eyes. They'd be really pushed later on, with just the two of them.
"Are you okay?" Ono asked.
"Oh. Yeah. Fine."
Ono turned back and carried on kneading dough for the croissants. Tachibana had been so quiet recently. It was understandable, what with the drama of the missing kid and the whole abduction business. He closed his eyes for a second and pictured Tachibana all those years ago. Poor boy. Something like that would give anyone restless nights. Bad dreams. Especially if that awful man had done things… Molested him.
He tried to set what he knew now against the Tachibana he'd known in high school. That confident gorgeous young man who Ono had not even known the first thing about. Who Ono had loved. Or rather, he'd loved the illusion, hadn't he? It was so long ago now-- nearly fifteen years.
He pressed out the dough and began to cut it into squares. It was silky and smooth under his fingers, buttery and sweet smelling, just as it should be. Tachibana clattered the metal baking sheet out of the oven and down onto the grey marble counter.
"Is Chi okay?" he asked, not looking this time.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, he hasn't been here much-- not for two weeks now," Ono said.
"I rang him last night. Again. He said his apartment still needs sorting out. "
Ono heard the metallic whoosh and scrape of a spatula on steel: Tachibana moving each pastry onto the cooling rack, one by one, every movement economical and neat. Ono didn't have to look.
"It's taking a long time."
"Huh. Yeah." Another whoosh scrape. "He's probably not eating right."
"Oh dear. Poor Chi. I do hope he's all right."
Whoosh scrape.
"You should take him some stuff from the shop. Feed him up or something."
"I should?"
"Yeah," said Tachibana. His shoulders looked weirdly stiff. "He'd like it. Save me having to do it."
"Ah. He-- I see."
Only he didn't really see at all. Ono gazed down at his croissant dough, remembering their ridiculous adventure in the hotel room and Chi's weight pressing him down. Now Tachibana wanted him to visit Chi in his apartment. Where they might sit close together on the sofa, for example. Except Ono wasn't going to think about doing things like that with Chi.
"Go today. Leave an hour early."
"Oh my heavens," Ono said, looking over. Tachibana was standing at the window, looking out. "Did you hit your head?"
"Hey, is it so unusual if I'm concerned about my staff?"
"Well, how do I say this? Yes."
Tachibana shook his head and Ono thought he was about to say something else, but he didn't. Instead he came over to the preparation area.
"D'you need me to finish off the limon tartes?" he said, propping one hip against the counter.
"Yes please, and then the tray of savarin."
Tachibana reached for the sweetened lemon peel and the chocolate shavings and didn’t say anything else.
***
"I'm here to visit Mr Chikage. Apartment number seven," Ono said, several hours later. He spoke into a chromed intercom panel set next to the door.
"Please enter," a voice said, after a lengthy pause.
It had been reduced to an electronic croak. It wasn't Chikage, so it must be the concierge. Ono had no idea Chi got paid so much, to afford such a fancy apartment. Maybe Tachibana had coughed up a bonus or something. He could be generous sometimes. Occasionally. Secretly. But that was one of his charms, wasn't it? With Tachibana, so much was hidden. Handsome, clever, well dressed, rich. And pretty sad, even with someone like Chi to help him into his pyjamas at night.
He bit his lip at the bright and shiny images that leapt into his mind. Chi, Tachibana, pyjamas. It was too easy. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed: hands straying over naked skin, surprised gasps, the pyjamas slipping down over hard muscular thighs--
Ono shook his head, as if he could dislodge the images. It would be far better for his mental health if he stopped this, right now. He cleared his throat and gripped the small paper bag he was carrying more tightly, and attempted to force the thoughts of them together from his mind.
"Stop it," he muttered to himself, when it didn’t work.
The elevator pinged and the door opened. He stepped into a brushed steel cube, with smoked mirrors on two walls. Ono frowned at his reflection. Not bad, even if he did have a streak of icing sugar in his hair and a couple more wrinkles than last year. He brushed the sugar away and ran a hand over his hair. No grey, yet. But he wasn't getting any younger. None of them were.
Chi's door stood open. It was made of dark wood, sleek and modern, with a shiny new nameplate.
"Hello," he said, pushing at the door with his fingertips. It swung inwards. "Chikage?" A vision of Chikage unconscious on the floor floated up into his mind. Then he heard a clattering sound and a crash of china, and then, more faintly, Chi's voice. He was chiding himself in a way that sounded uncannily like Tachibana.
Ono pushed the door wide. Chi's apartment was sleek and modern, and at one end of the open plan living area there was a kitchen, decorated with glossy black and white tiles.
"Chi, are you-- Oh."
Chi was there, staring at the floor. He looked up and a beautiful smile broke across his face. Ono's chest tightened, just from the sight of it.
"Mr Ono," he said.
Soap suds dripped from his fingers onto the remains of what looked like a casserole dish. He had a black apron on, like the one he wore to work. The ends of the ties flapped around his knees. Under the apron he wore a white t-shirt and jeans. He wore his sunglasses, and looked like a yakuza on his day off. Apart from the look of shocked joy that was written on his face. Tachibana had been right, as usual.
"I bought pumpkin scones," Ono said, holding up his paper bag. "But if I've come at a bad time… "
He tailed off, taking in the piles of magazines on the floor, the socks draped over a chair back, shaving foam sitting in crusted blobs on the living room carpet. Dishes filled the tiny sink and were tumbled on the surfaces.
"No. I'm so happy you came," Chi said, beaming. He stepped forward and shards of broken pot crunched underfoot. His face fell and he raised his hands in what looked like an involuntary gesture of shock. "Oh. I mean, I need to tidy up," he said, his shoulders sagging.
"You don’t need to, just for me," Ono said, taking a step forward. Something squished underfoot and he didn't even dare look. "Or. Well, maybe you do, a bit." He watched Chi's face fall. "But why don’t I help you?"
It was worth it just for the happy smile it won him.
"Oh, yes! That would be wonderful."
A vivid picture of Tachibana and Chi's home life popped into his head: Tachibana taking care of everything, cooking, cleaning, washing. Like a good housewife. He didn't know whether to cry or laugh at that. Chi needed someone, that was clear.
***
It didn’t take very long to clear the kitchen, although the stove needed scrubbing hard where pans had boiled over. He attacked it with a scouring pad while Chi swept the floor and put things in cupboards. The living room took longer.
"Have you lived alone before?" Ono asked, as they gathered what seemed like most of Chi's clothing from various part of the floor. He had a whole armful of towels, which had been mysteriously piled on top of the TV.
Chi looked down at the pair of tennis shoes he was holding and shrugged.
"No. I-- I never wanted to," he said.
Not like Ono, who had needed to. He wanted to ask why Chikage had moved out now.
"Where shall we put all these clothes?" he said, instead.
"Umm. In my bedroom?"
Ono's treacherous little heart picked up its pace.
"You'd better show me the way," he said, smiling.
Chi was so tall and slim and lovely, and he moved so well. Apart from the times he walked into doorways. Ono tried not to watch his bottom move in those rather well fitting jeans, but gave in.
Chi's bedroom was small and bare. The sheets were all twisted off the bed and it didn't look very comfortable.
"Here," Ono said. "You fold these clothes and put them in the cupboard. I'll make the bed."
Chi stood there, arms overflowing and eyes wide.
"Mr Ono-- you're doing too much."
"Oh, hush," Ono said, loud and bright. "I'm really not."
"My lord always told me I had to learn to do things like this by myself."
But then Tachibana probably watched for about a second before he did it all himself anyway, Ono thought. It was too easy to imagine, like the thing with pyjamas. He took a breath.
"You can learn by watching my example then," Ono said. "Have you got clean sheets?"
Chi found some: plain white cotton and still in their plastic wrapping, along with pillowcases and fresh blankets. It didn't take long, and he instructed Chi to take the pile of dirty ones to the washing machine. He opened the window wide, ran a duster over the few surfaces and fetched in the vacuum cleaner, and, all right, he was spending far too much time in here.
"It's-- it looks completely different," Chi said, when he came back. He gazed down at the bed and then back up at Ono.
"Isn’t this so much more civilised?" Ono swept a hand through his hair and smiled. "Now you can really enjoy yourself in here."
"I can?"
"Oh, yes. In all sort of exciting ways."
He watched as Chi began to blush. He really was so handsome it was almost painful.
"You mean-- in-- in-- sex ways?" Chi said, clenching his hands in to tight nervous fists as if he hadn’t expected to hear himself say that.
He ignored the little voice that told him to stop. Chi had got rid of the apron but he still had his dark glasses on. Ono wanted to reach out and touch the bare skin of his forearm.
Ono's throat was dry. Chi, with the bed, and Chi standing so close, with his mouth open a little like that.
"Do you want to try it?" he heard himself say. "The bed," he added. The silence in the room buzzed in his ears. He shouldn’t be doing this. He just couldn't seem to make himself stop. He tried to imagine what Tachibana would say if he walked in now, but only got as far as imagining a slap to the face and, really, he might deserve it. When Chi didn't move he held out his hand. "Come here."
Three slow steps and Chi was there. Then he raised his hand and lightly touched Ono's fingers, as if they might burn him.
"Why? Are you-- tired?" he said.
"Yes," Ono said, brushing his thumb over the back of Chi's hand.
It wasn't a lie, at least, and then his heart was in his throat because Chi was walking him slowly backwards, hardly touching but looming over him as if there was no escape. How wonderful, Ono thought, as the back of his knees hit the bed and he tumbled down in a slow breathless fall. He caught Chi's hand, tight, and tugged him down with him. They landed with a thump, Chi on top.
"Oh. Oh," Chi said and then didn’t seem to be able to say anything else, although his mouth was making enticing little movements.
Ono reached up and carefully took Chi's glasses off. Chi's eyes were the colour of bitter chocolate and they were framed with lashes that showed spiky and dark against his pale skin. He could feel Chi's long legs pressed against his, warm and solid.
"Will you kiss me?" Ono said, gazing up at him. Chi blinked at him and just stared. He wrinkled his brow and looked worried. He can’t be surprised, not after the sex comment, Ono thought. He slipped his arms around Chi's neck, drawing him closer. "I mean, if you want," he added.
"I do," Chi said in a rush. He bent his head and shifted, moving his weight. His thigh fell between Ono's legs and that was-- oh. Ono curled his fingers into Chi's shoulders. "It's just-- You don't have to ask me," Chi said, very softly, against his ear. His voice shook. "You never have to ask me."
It was true in a way that sent a queasy jolt through Ono's stomach. He could take what he wanted, any time. He tightened his arms around Chi's shoulders and pressed his face into his neck, knowing he was clutching but not being able to stop. Chi made a soft noise. He stroked a hand over Ono's hair.
Chi smelled of soap and of expensive aftershave that Ono was certain Tachibana had bought for him. His skin was warm and smooth and Ono wanted touch him all over, but he thought that he wasn't going to, at least not tonight. Or tomorrow. He'd wait until he was the one who had to ask. Even if that thought made him ache all over.
"How come you're always so clever?" he whispered.
"But you know I'm not," Chi said, pulling back a tiny bit to watch him. They looked at each other. He watched as Chi's gaze moved to his mouth. "Mr Ono?"
"Yes, Chi? You should call me Yuey, you know."
Chi shook his head. "Do you still want me to-- kiss you?" he said.
Ono thought about how much he wanted to say yes. "Very much," he said, closing his eyes. "But, you know, I'm feeling really quite sleepy. Can we just--" He opened his eyes. "Can we just lie here?"
Chi nodded, as if he understood perfectly, as if he was used to this kind of request. They rolled and shifted. His arms came round Ono, strong and comforting, and Ono pressed his face to Chi's chest. He felt gentle touches on his hair and slowly, little by little, he drifted to sleep.