Yami no Matsuei (Muraki/Tsuzuki)

[p_zeitgeist]

Title: A Fish Dinner in Chijou
Author: Phoebe Zeitgeist
Rating: PG-13 (this version)
Warnings: Characters who won't shut up; not-wholly-balanced Tsuzuki; pretentious literary references. Unbeta'dness, and I mean it.
Summary: A chance meeting, and some consequences. Written for wordsofastory's prompt: "Pre-Kyoto. They encounter each other accidentally,

Comments

[laylah]

...Damn. That was incredibly vivid and sensual, and I find myself starving. The depth of immersive detail, and the luxury of their surroundings, were just such a treat.

[p_zeitgeist]

Thank you! You cannot know how delighted and relieved I am to know that the piling-on of detail -- not to mention the food porn -- worked, rather than merely being way, way over the top. It helps to give me courage as I contemplate the ugly but necessary task of fixing the second half of the story, and I am very grateful.

[tiggymalvern]

I really enjoyed this fic. They're always a tricky pairing to pull off and keep in character, and your Tsuzuki here is so good - self-punishing in his belief that the world hates him and he deserves it, while still getting on and doing the job through it all. It's beautifully paced, you've taken your idea and let it flow rather than just getting it down and done, not always the case with challenges. Lovely detail, great idea and smooth execution.

[p_zeitgeist]

Thank you so much! You cannot know how grateful I am, in particular, to be told that the pacing works -- I'll spare you most of the neurotic writer-whining, but the pacing toward the end is one of the things that I have been, let us say, not entirely comfortable with in this draft. It means a great deal to me to be told that it's okay after all.

Again, thank you. It makes me very happy to know you enjoyed it.

[mistressrenet]

Oh, this is just stunning; especially Tsuzuki's despair at the end.

[p_zeitgeist]

Ah, thank you so much. Mind you, you now behold me torn between an anguished cry of, 'Ack, no, you weren't supposed to read this version! It's not recommended! I'm not done fixing it yet!!' and a sense of utter relief that you did, and specifically didn't hate the end.

But I think the relief is winning out.

[mistressrenet]

Stick with the relief. I'll read the second version too, I promise. Heh.

I have neither a Muraki nor a Tsuzuki icon. Must fix.

[khi_word]

That was really quite lovely. :) Moreover, it seemed very in-character (at least as far as how I see the characters). I think this part was my favorite:

“Do you really want to give me a weapon that will be always at your throat?”

He reached for Muraki’s fingers where they rested along the bone of his hip and wrapped them around his own neck, pressing down a little. “Yes, actually. What do you care?”

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this. :) I will be recommending it at khi_ficrecs at some point.

[p_zeitgeist]

Thank you -- and also, yikes!

I mean, I owe you double thanks for this, because if you hadn't found this, and commented, I would never, ever have realized that when I revised this thing, and posted the revised version on my own journal, I never either replaced this post or added a note saying that I had indeed done the revisions.

So, seriously, thank you. I'd be enormously pleased you'd liked it in any case, and despite my embarrassment, I'm deeply grateful for the reminder. With any luck, I'll manage to update this now before my brain tilts over again, and before anyone else finds the old version. (Not that I'm not thrilled that anyone's finding these old posts at all. But you know what I mean. This is the sort of time when I wish I had a *headdesk* icon.)