Secrets (Naruto, Yondaime/Kakashi)
Title: Secrets
Fandom: Naruto (Yondaime/Kakashi)
Author: First Class aka icedark_elf
Recipient: Inspector Parker aka postingwhore
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Older man crushing on a waaay younger one.
Summary: Everyone has their secrets
Secrets
The boy was too young.
Not to mention his student.
Which made the thoughts he had several levels of wrong, but he still couldn’t help having them. If anyone else had any idea what he was thinking, he had no doubt his team would be broken up and he would lose a great deal of, well, everything.
Still, it wasn’t like he could help it. Kakashi was, well, he didn’t know. The boy was special though, and that drew him in like nothing else could have. Talent always did, and if Kakashi had anything, it was sheer, unadulterated talent.
And a bastard attitude to boot.
Not that he blamed the boy. It had not been an easy time for him, with his family, and being a genius was never easy. Especially when he was pushed through that training and pushed to join others who were far older than himself. It had been a struggle to get the boy onto a team his own age, but what use was influence if one didn’t use it occasionally, hmm?
So now he had a mixed bag of talent and a rather streamline set of ages. Wonderful. However it let him keep the boy close, and that was most likely still not a good thing, but he just couldn’t help it.
He knew it was wrong. He was careful, oh so very, very careful to not influence Kakashi in any way other than trying to get him interactive with his team. The child was a loner, and seemed almost cut of from all human contact, and he just didn’t like that. No child should ever be that lonely. Especially by choice.
So he tried to get them to interact. Hells, he forced them to interact outside mission situations. Took them out for food, made them hang out together while he was…delayed with other things. Stole that from Uchiha, but it worked, so whatever.
None of it worked, much to his frustration.
Then the unthinkable happened, and it hurt more than anything he had ever expected.
A mission went south, and only two of his students came home. Both were damaged, one more than the other. Rin never quite recovered, and Kakashi….
Kakashi rebuilt himself. Completely, from the eye outwards. In a way, it was good, but it still hurt to see someone destroy themselves in that way.
From that day on, it wasn’t really Kakashi anymore. The cold, mission dedicated genius had killed himself, and what was left was a strange mix of Kakashi and Obito.
Some days, he wasn’t sure who it was he was talking to.
He still cared for the boy, still cared for him far more than he should, but now it had a new flavor to it, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it.
Kakashi had grown up.
Then the conflict with Stone got even worse.
After that….
Kyuubi.
The nine-tailed demon fox.
Nobody knew why it decided to attack, and there wasn’t time to figure it out. His people were dying, and they were dying fast.
He was the Yondaime.
He did what he had to do to save his village.
///
Tired, rubbing his eye, Kakashi slowly made his way towards his weekly appointment. Whenever he was in town, when he was physically capable of it, he kept this schedule, moving towards the Hokage’s tower.
Waving to the guards who watched the doors into the tower itself, he let them examine him and then moved into the building. Wandering the halls a bit, he didn’t hurry, even though he felt the need to talk rather badly. Where he was going was the Hidden Leaf’s greatest secret, and there would be no risk brought to its discovery, by him least of all.
He had lost too many people to lose this one as well.
Finally, he came to the door. There were no guards, no real wards, nothing to indicate it was different or special from the dozen of identical doors he had passed. Slipping inside, he moved to sit next to the bed.
The man who laid there didn’t react to Kakashi’s presence. But, then, he hadn’t reacted to anyone. Not for the last twelve years or so.
Sighing, Kakashi studied the Yondaime.
“I’m beginning to wonder if our village is cursed,” he said softly. “At least some of the teams, anyway.
“It’s us, all over again. From what the Sandaime says, the Sannin as well. It’s a bit disconcerting how well they all seem to fit. The joker, the genius, the girl with a crush. It’s a bit depressing, really.”
This was the only one he let hear him talk like this, the only one he could be totally and truly honest with. One day he hoped he would see those blue eyes spark with something, anything, and so he told the man everything, hoping for some type of reaction.
“I hate that we fall into such easy patterns. Don’t like the idea of what it might mean, either. Both those teams are gone. Scattered to the winds of time and death and I don’t want to think of my team being next?
“Tried so hard to avoid taking them on, I really did. Why would I want a team, given what happened to the one I used to be a part of. Obito and Rin are dead, and you…. Well, no offense, but you act like it.
“I know, I know, you had to do something about the Kyuubi, and whatever you did worked, though you’d be so disappointed with the village. They hate Naruto for what you did, even through it’s not his, or even your, fault.
“He looks so much like you it hurts, you know? Reminds me of Obito, too, which doesn’t help at all. Find myself paying attention to Sasuke just so I don’t have to be reminded.
“Wish I knew why he looks like he does. Obito, well, that’s pure attitude. Brat. Doesn’t want to kill, I think, which will probably cause problems in the long run, but… I don’t think I can break him of that habit. Not yet, anyway.
“As for you and him, well, maybe that’s your influence. He’s tapped the Kyuubi a couple of times; maybe he’s tapped you as well. Got to have gotten that blond from somewhere, as neither of his parents had it.”
It was nice, to just be able to talk, and he continued to go on. Kakashi was sure this wasn’t healthy for anyone, least of all him. Still, he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop himself.
The man on the bed had been the only one of his people that he cared for, that he loved, to be alive. Even in this mostly dead state, he was still alive.
Kakashi couldn’t let that go. He wouldn’t let that go. He would not lose someone else like that.
So he talked, and hoped that one day, the man would answer back.
Fandom: Naruto (Yondaime/Kakashi)
Author: First Class aka icedark_elf
Recipient: Inspector Parker aka postingwhore
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Older man crushing on a waaay younger one.
Summary: Everyone has their secrets
Secrets
The boy was too young.
Not to mention his student.
Which made the thoughts he had several levels of wrong, but he still couldn’t help having them. If anyone else had any idea what he was thinking, he had no doubt his team would be broken up and he would lose a great deal of, well, everything.
Still, it wasn’t like he could help it. Kakashi was, well, he didn’t know. The boy was special though, and that drew him in like nothing else could have. Talent always did, and if Kakashi had anything, it was sheer, unadulterated talent.
And a bastard attitude to boot.
Not that he blamed the boy. It had not been an easy time for him, with his family, and being a genius was never easy. Especially when he was pushed through that training and pushed to join others who were far older than himself. It had been a struggle to get the boy onto a team his own age, but what use was influence if one didn’t use it occasionally, hmm?
So now he had a mixed bag of talent and a rather streamline set of ages. Wonderful. However it let him keep the boy close, and that was most likely still not a good thing, but he just couldn’t help it.
He knew it was wrong. He was careful, oh so very, very careful to not influence Kakashi in any way other than trying to get him interactive with his team. The child was a loner, and seemed almost cut of from all human contact, and he just didn’t like that. No child should ever be that lonely. Especially by choice.
So he tried to get them to interact. Hells, he forced them to interact outside mission situations. Took them out for food, made them hang out together while he was…delayed with other things. Stole that from Uchiha, but it worked, so whatever.
None of it worked, much to his frustration.
Then the unthinkable happened, and it hurt more than anything he had ever expected.
A mission went south, and only two of his students came home. Both were damaged, one more than the other. Rin never quite recovered, and Kakashi….
Kakashi rebuilt himself. Completely, from the eye outwards. In a way, it was good, but it still hurt to see someone destroy themselves in that way.
From that day on, it wasn’t really Kakashi anymore. The cold, mission dedicated genius had killed himself, and what was left was a strange mix of Kakashi and Obito.
Some days, he wasn’t sure who it was he was talking to.
He still cared for the boy, still cared for him far more than he should, but now it had a new flavor to it, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it.
Kakashi had grown up.
Then the conflict with Stone got even worse.
After that….
Kyuubi.
The nine-tailed demon fox.
Nobody knew why it decided to attack, and there wasn’t time to figure it out. His people were dying, and they were dying fast.
He was the Yondaime.
He did what he had to do to save his village.
///
Tired, rubbing his eye, Kakashi slowly made his way towards his weekly appointment. Whenever he was in town, when he was physically capable of it, he kept this schedule, moving towards the Hokage’s tower.
Waving to the guards who watched the doors into the tower itself, he let them examine him and then moved into the building. Wandering the halls a bit, he didn’t hurry, even though he felt the need to talk rather badly. Where he was going was the Hidden Leaf’s greatest secret, and there would be no risk brought to its discovery, by him least of all.
He had lost too many people to lose this one as well.
Finally, he came to the door. There were no guards, no real wards, nothing to indicate it was different or special from the dozen of identical doors he had passed. Slipping inside, he moved to sit next to the bed.
The man who laid there didn’t react to Kakashi’s presence. But, then, he hadn’t reacted to anyone. Not for the last twelve years or so.
Sighing, Kakashi studied the Yondaime.
“I’m beginning to wonder if our village is cursed,” he said softly. “At least some of the teams, anyway.
“It’s us, all over again. From what the Sandaime says, the Sannin as well. It’s a bit disconcerting how well they all seem to fit. The joker, the genius, the girl with a crush. It’s a bit depressing, really.”
This was the only one he let hear him talk like this, the only one he could be totally and truly honest with. One day he hoped he would see those blue eyes spark with something, anything, and so he told the man everything, hoping for some type of reaction.
“I hate that we fall into such easy patterns. Don’t like the idea of what it might mean, either. Both those teams are gone. Scattered to the winds of time and death and I don’t want to think of my team being next?
“Tried so hard to avoid taking them on, I really did. Why would I want a team, given what happened to the one I used to be a part of. Obito and Rin are dead, and you…. Well, no offense, but you act like it.
“I know, I know, you had to do something about the Kyuubi, and whatever you did worked, though you’d be so disappointed with the village. They hate Naruto for what you did, even through it’s not his, or even your, fault.
“He looks so much like you it hurts, you know? Reminds me of Obito, too, which doesn’t help at all. Find myself paying attention to Sasuke just so I don’t have to be reminded.
“Wish I knew why he looks like he does. Obito, well, that’s pure attitude. Brat. Doesn’t want to kill, I think, which will probably cause problems in the long run, but… I don’t think I can break him of that habit. Not yet, anyway.
“As for you and him, well, maybe that’s your influence. He’s tapped the Kyuubi a couple of times; maybe he’s tapped you as well. Got to have gotten that blond from somewhere, as neither of his parents had it.”
It was nice, to just be able to talk, and he continued to go on. Kakashi was sure this wasn’t healthy for anyone, least of all him. Still, he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop himself.
The man on the bed had been the only one of his people that he cared for, that he loved, to be alive. Even in this mostly dead state, he was still alive.
Kakashi couldn’t let that go. He wouldn’t let that go. He would not lose someone else like that.
So he talked, and hoped that one day, the man would answer back.