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Top Ten Reasons - Why "Trick or Treating" is better than sex!
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. Twenty years from now you'll still enjoy the candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
And the number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex...
1. You can do the whole neighborhood
How Yodeling Began
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? California?
Oregon?
Switzerland? Most believe it originate in Switzerland. Actually it did
and
here's how it all began.
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland.
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went
up to
a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The
farmer
told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and
asked
her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?" "That's some fellow
traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a place to stay for the
night, so I said he could sleep in the barn." The daughter said,
"Perhaps he
is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food and took it out to the
barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled
and
straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went. The farmer's wife was
very
observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she
fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to
the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was
askew,
her blouse buttoned incorrectly
and her hair all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on
his
journey, waving to the farmer as he left. When the daughter awoke and
learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he
leave
without even saying good-bye," she cried. "We made such passionate love
last
night!" "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house
looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain. The farmer
screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my
daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to
his
mouth, and yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE,
THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
Well, THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.
I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG,
AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM
OR BAKE A CAKE.
HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO....
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. Twenty years from now you'll still enjoy the candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
And the number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex...
1. You can do the whole neighborhood
How Yodeling Began
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? California?
Oregon?
Switzerland? Most believe it originate in Switzerland. Actually it did
and
here's how it all began.
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland.
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went
up to
a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The
farmer
told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and
asked
her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?" "That's some fellow
traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a place to stay for the
night, so I said he could sleep in the barn." The daughter said,
"Perhaps he
is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food and took it out to the
barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled
and
straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went. The farmer's wife was
very
observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she
fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to
the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was
askew,
her blouse buttoned incorrectly
and her hair all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on
his
journey, waving to the farmer as he left. When the daughter awoke and
learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he
leave
without even saying good-bye," she cried. "We made such passionate love
last
night!" "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house
looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain. The farmer
screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my
daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to
his
mouth, and yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE,
THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
Well, THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.
I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG,
AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM
OR BAKE A CAKE.
HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO....
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?