Rap Battle
I've decided to turn my long-defunct livejournal into a home for gangstas and playaz of all form. You see, I was going through a bunch of livejournals, and I realized that most of the entries are reserved for pussy-ass whining about emotions, conflicts, and drama. Well, what's the only antidote to being a pussy? Being an Illin' Mathematician. Since not all of you can achieve that insanely high status, you can do the next best thing. Battle rap in my livejournal. So, please, all of you, even if you can't rap very well, just post anonymously. EVERYBODY BATTLE RAP! IT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT WE'LL EVER BE TRULY FREE FROM OUR OPPRESSORS! Post all of your raps in the comment section, and we'll be sure to have a whale of a time on our hands. Here, I'll start.
Bill Sutherland, AKA QVC
Everybody and their mother try to flow like me
But you can try all you want, it’ll still be whack
After all, do you try to ball like Shaq?
Do you drive like Earnhardt, play guitar like Hendrix?
Do you try to be a doctor and remove an appendix?
Do you sprint across the finish line like Moses Tanui?
You don’t try that shit, you need to get a clue, G
You don’t try to walk in space like Neil Armstrong
Or take a Cypress Hill-sized hit from the bong
You never field a ground ball like my man Nomar
You’ll never try this shit, at least you haven’t so far
You won’t try to tell a joke like Dave Chappelle
And if you do, you can’t do it as well
You don’t fill little kids with Christmas glee
So why do you try to flow like me?
Bill Sutherland, AKA QVC
Everybody and their mother try to flow like me
But you can try all you want, it’ll still be whack
After all, do you try to ball like Shaq?
Do you drive like Earnhardt, play guitar like Hendrix?
Do you try to be a doctor and remove an appendix?
Do you sprint across the finish line like Moses Tanui?
You don’t try that shit, you need to get a clue, G
You don’t try to walk in space like Neil Armstrong
Or take a Cypress Hill-sized hit from the bong
You never field a ground ball like my man Nomar
You’ll never try this shit, at least you haven’t so far
You won’t try to tell a joke like Dave Chappelle
And if you do, you can’t do it as well
You don’t fill little kids with Christmas glee
So why do you try to flow like me?