Crashing and Burning
Sorry I have not written an entry or made any comments to peoples journals as basically some part of my mind has broken down, I am sad and no motivation for much.
Its a struggle to be happy or even smile so i thing it's safe to say the anxieties have all cashed in that i have a depression cloud over me. Mood swings have gone out of control and feel so bad Chris is struggling to cope with me which is scary as I dont want to loose him but i am unable to control myself right now ;_;
Finally local doctors here have registered me so able to keep my trail raised dose of medication and have an apportionment for the end of this month. I should be going home to work at the sweet shop next week so having work to do and hopefully meet some of my friends will put me in better spirits.
Also be in my mums house where its not a building site or have neighbours who constantly watch my every move if I dare go into my garden and try and do any gardening. Or neighbours who tip over pots and recycling bins or throw food or have screaming matches at night.
Job hunting still continues.
Had a trial shift as housekeeping staff for a inn - not for me I think. Its a lot of work but having to scrub tiled bathroom floors on my hands and knees - my knees misalignment did not appreciate that! Also the other two woman constantly talked abother another girl on trail they liked so yeah i get it I am not wanted that was 3 hours of hard work wasted.
I did got on a historical Viking Tour last week (well been on it twice then with drinks at pub)
I even got in a few photos. "Can you guys look interested in the window" was what the photographer wanted.
This is me (wearing a ton of layers!) with Halfdan and Igamund.
This is the local Viking group I am looking at joining (to give me something to do and make friends) Igamund and his mother are the leaders so have to see if they allow me to join but I have the vote of at least two others (am sure 4 from future brother in law and one of the women wanting me as her apprentice/helper)
I have not picked a Viking name yet until I am accepted but need to make my clothes which luckily is just the basics as I have to start as a Thrall (Slave) but another guy is joining so he will be a Thrall as well.
Hopefully I can be accepted as will give me something to do as well as doing my own research into natural dying so dont get my colours wrong (No black for my status!)
So far now it's curl up on Sofa watch Game of Thrones Season 5 (as I am so behind) with Satu who had been poorly.
Its a struggle to be happy or even smile so i thing it's safe to say the anxieties have all cashed in that i have a depression cloud over me. Mood swings have gone out of control and feel so bad Chris is struggling to cope with me which is scary as I dont want to loose him but i am unable to control myself right now ;_;
Finally local doctors here have registered me so able to keep my trail raised dose of medication and have an apportionment for the end of this month. I should be going home to work at the sweet shop next week so having work to do and hopefully meet some of my friends will put me in better spirits.
Also be in my mums house where its not a building site or have neighbours who constantly watch my every move if I dare go into my garden and try and do any gardening. Or neighbours who tip over pots and recycling bins or throw food or have screaming matches at night.
Job hunting still continues.
Had a trial shift as housekeeping staff for a inn - not for me I think. Its a lot of work but having to scrub tiled bathroom floors on my hands and knees - my knees misalignment did not appreciate that! Also the other two woman constantly talked abother another girl on trail they liked so yeah i get it I am not wanted that was 3 hours of hard work wasted.
I did got on a historical Viking Tour last week (well been on it twice then with drinks at pub)
I even got in a few photos. "Can you guys look interested in the window" was what the photographer wanted.
This is me (wearing a ton of layers!) with Halfdan and Igamund.
This is the local Viking group I am looking at joining (to give me something to do and make friends) Igamund and his mother are the leaders so have to see if they allow me to join but I have the vote of at least two others (am sure 4 from future brother in law and one of the women wanting me as her apprentice/helper)
I have not picked a Viking name yet until I am accepted but need to make my clothes which luckily is just the basics as I have to start as a Thrall (Slave) but another guy is joining so he will be a Thrall as well.
Hopefully I can be accepted as will give me something to do as well as doing my own research into natural dying so dont get my colours wrong (No black for my status!)
So far now it's curl up on Sofa watch Game of Thrones Season 5 (as I am so behind) with Satu who had been poorly.