Mad Hatter
Title: Mad Hatter
Words: 1724
Warning: Kisuke being a perv, angry Ichigo badmouthing Urahara, um… teasing,
Rating: T (is for teasing)
Summary: One should never distract a scientis.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
Beta: King/FreakinMi
A/N: 5th in the Cuddling Time. I had lots of fun working on this one and you can feel that. It’s also very much like me - I mean the teasing part XD. I don’t have anything else to say. Enjoy!
--
A hot summer day was in full blossom, the sun shining brightly on the cloudless, blue sky, birds chirping happily and a soft breeze to accompany the idyll scenery. It was a normal, peaceful day in Karakura.
BOOM.
Or not.
“Oww…” a pained moan left the lips of a particular orange haired teenager as he rubbed his head where he collided with the nearest wall, the explosion throwing him a few meters away from the lab table. Through a faint cloud of green smoke he could make out the tall figure of his lover standing up carefully and looking around for him in the remains of a laboratory. Finally, Urahara noticed him, though Ichigo didn’t really like the odd look sent his way or the wicked smile gracing those lips one bit - it meant trouble. The blonde moved to where the teen lay sprawled on the floor.
“Are you alright, Kurosaki-kun?” asked the shopkeeper eying him from head to toe, grin never leaving its place.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered from his place on the floor. He took his time looking around taking in the destructions the explosion made, “Though I can’t say the same about this place. You should’ve been more careful with that funny-looking mixture of yours.”
Urahara produced his fan out of nowhere and Ichigo couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the dumfounded look on his lover’s face when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to hide his wolfish grin behind the fan, as it was damaged and as soon as Urahara tried to open it only the handle was left in his hand. The expression Kisuke wore was priceless, his eyes wide and lower lip jutted out as if he was about to cry. But it didn’t last long much to Ichigo’s dismay - the blonde shopkeeper shrugged, threw the fan away with nonchalance and acted as if nothing happened pulling his hat down a bit to cover his eyes. “It’s not my fault you distracted me.”
“Like hell I did!” the teenager scowled, “All I did was stand there and watch what you’re doing, so don’t blame your failures on me, you mad scientist.” Though, maybe he did swing his hips in that particular way that always drew Kisuke’s attention and leaned on the table nibbling on his little finger as he feigned interest in whatever it was Urahara was working on this time. Those little things that would surely send Kisuke’s mind into a one-track trail of thought, without anyone really being able to blame him for it. “Anyways, what were you trying to make? A bomb?”
“Well, not really. I found this new recipe for chocolate on the internet the other day and I wanted to try it out.”
Ichigo’s jaw dropped.
“You’re joking, right? You don’t really think I’ll believe something as absurd as that.”
“But I’m telling you the truth, Kurosaki-kun. Your disbelief hurts me.”
“Yeah, right.” Urahara flashed him a sweet smile and started wandering aimlessly through the destroyed laboratory. Glass shards, burned or half-burned sheets of paper, pieces of wood that had once been a chair - Kisuke took in the damages without much of a scowl, completely unfazed. Ichigo supposed that explosions were a quite common occurrence in Urahara Shouten. Though that didn’t explain the secretive smiles the pervert sent him every now and then. “Is there something on my face? A third eye maybe?” asked the teenager getting a bit annoyed by the blonde’s strange - well, stranger than usual - behavior.
“No, there’s nothing wrong in the way you look.”
The choice of words made the orange haired boy arch an eyebrow, but he didn’t question his lover further. He let out a frustrated sigh instead, and ran a hand through his hair, a few stray blonde strands obscuring his vision. He supposed that sitting sprawled on the ground wouldn’t help clean up the place, so he should probably stand up already and….
Wait a minute. Blonde strands?
Ichigo caught a few strands of hair, a bit too aggressively maybe as it made him wince in pain, and brought them before his eyes. His hair got longer and…
Blonde.
Blonde as in exactly the same shade of pale sunny blonde Urahara’s hair was.
”Wha-?”
“Is something wrong, Kurosaki-kun?” Kisuke was again standing a step away from the teenager.
Ichigo looked up at him, his eyes wide in shock and well, horror.
“Why the fuck is my hair blonde?!”
“Oh?” Urahara’s face stayed unfazed.
“Don’t ‘oh’ me you bastard. What the hell did you do to me?” He could of course check it himself, but he didn’t dare to look down on his body to check the... damages.
“I didn’t do a thing. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Kisuke.” Ichigo shot his lover a glare, the tone of his voice threatening.
“Well… this wasn’t in any way what I intended to do, but I have to say the result is… interesting.” Urahara scratched the back of his neck grinning sheepishly. “It seems that the mixture somehow changed your appearance. And…”
Trust Kisuke to make a dramatic pause.
“And?” Ichigo pressed.
“And you look exactly like me.”
What the fuck?!
“No way!”
“Yes way, I’m afraid.”
“Change me back. Immediately.”
“I don’t know how.” Ichigo just looked him in the eyes, his gaze hard and frigid. “I mean yet. I don’t know yet. But I will soon.”
“How soon?”
“I just need to make some tests. Take some samples.” Urahara twirled his cane idly not really looking at Ichigo.
“Then hurry up. I don’t wanna be stuck looking like this for the rest of my life!” There was no way in hell he’d go home looking like this!
“Don’t you like how I look?” Kisuke feigned a pout.
“You know damn well that it’s not what I’m talking about. Don’t change the subject.” He tried to stand up, but since his body was bigger now he didn’t use enough strength and fell back on his ass. Rubbing the abused skin and trying to ignore Kisuke’s not really suppressed chuckle he continued, “Stop laughing and start working on turning me back to normal.”
“Well, if you really want me to.”
“Yes, I really want you to do something about this." Ichigo pointed all over himself. "And I’d be incredibly happy if you started ‘doing something’ right this instant.” The teenager huffed.
“So… first I’ll have to do some tests and calculations.” Kisuke lowered himself to a crouching position. A smile plastered on his lips though his eyes weren’t laughing, eyeing the boy, calculating.
“Hurry up then.” Ichigo didn’t catch the change in Urahara’s demeanor, before it was too late and he was lifted up and over the shopkeepers shoulder.
”What the fuck!”
“Calm down, Kurosaki-kun, or I’ll drop you on the floor.” Urahara carried him out of the laboratory and headed towards the back of the Shouten, to his bedroom.
“What are you doing?!” Ichigo never stopped struggling.
“A check-up.” Kisuke smacked his butt playfully at what the teenager squeaked. And you must know that it was a very manly squeak. Or so he claimed.
“Check-up? What for?” They were in Urahara’s room already, Ichigo facing the futon as Kisuke turned around to close the door. An ominous ‘click’ resounding in the room as they were locked inside.
“I need to examine you and see how exact the change is.” The blonde pervert laid Ichigo on the futon carefully. “First, we need to get you undressed.” And that wasn’t really much of a problem since his clothes were more or less torn due to the explosion and just as much because of his body getting bigger. He took off Ichigo’s shirt and pants without much protesting from the orange head, but as soon as his hands strayed towards the young man’s boxers they were swatted away.
“Hey, get your hands off of there.” Ichigo scowled.
“I’m just wondering if you look exactly like me.”
And before the Substitute Shinigami even had a chance to react his hands were tied above his head with Urahara’s shash Kisuke's own hands busy with roaming on his chest as he straddled Ichigo’s hips.
“Damnit, Urahara, stop! Let go of me you fuckin’ perv!” Ichigo tried to move, throw the bastard off of him, but Kisuke didn’t even budge. Not even when the orange haired teen moved his hips upwards, their groins meeting and Ichigo could feel the blonde’s growing erection. ”I can’t believe this is turning you on!” The orange head blushed wildly.
Urahara didn’t say a thing busying himself with shedding off his own haori, his hat thrown to the side followed by his shirt.
“Now this should be interesting.”
---
"So when will the effect wear off?"
They were still in bed, Urahara tracing lazy patterns on Ichigo’s chest as he lay on his side beside the teenager. The boy in question was quite exhausted from the hours that Kisuke spent on examining his changed body. He had to admit that he’d never came as much and hard as he did today, all thanks to the perverted shopkeeper who knew exactly how and to what his own body reacted. He didn’t even have it in him to berate the blonde. Not at the moment at least.
"I think that you'll be back to normal in a few hours."
"You think or you know?"
Urahara smiled lazily.
"I know."
"What am I supposed to do trapped in your body for another bunch of hours?"
"Well, I might have an idea," the blonde leaned in and nipped on Ichigo’s earlobe. The teenager rolled his eyes at the comment, but played along.
"Oh?"
"I could teach you a thing or two about my body.” Kisuke murmured in his ear, his voice suave. “Where and how to touch, what I like, what drives me crazy."
"You did it on purpose, didn't you?" Ichigo scoffed trying to play hard to get, though he’d lie if Urahara’s offer didn’t go straight to his groin.
"Did what?" Kisuke mumbled against his neck.
"Change me."
"And what would you do if I said I did?"
"... I suppose I can kick your ass later. But first..." Ichigo pushed Kisuke away and in a flash settled on top of Urahara straddling his hips. He leaned in until their lips were almost touching and whispered, "Teach me."
Words: 1724
Warning: Kisuke being a perv, angry Ichigo badmouthing Urahara, um… teasing,
Rating: T (is for teasing)
Summary: One should never distract a scientis.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
Beta: King/FreakinMi
A/N: 5th in the Cuddling Time. I had lots of fun working on this one and you can feel that. It’s also very much like me - I mean the teasing part XD. I don’t have anything else to say. Enjoy!
--
A hot summer day was in full blossom, the sun shining brightly on the cloudless, blue sky, birds chirping happily and a soft breeze to accompany the idyll scenery. It was a normal, peaceful day in Karakura.
BOOM.
Or not.
“Oww…” a pained moan left the lips of a particular orange haired teenager as he rubbed his head where he collided with the nearest wall, the explosion throwing him a few meters away from the lab table. Through a faint cloud of green smoke he could make out the tall figure of his lover standing up carefully and looking around for him in the remains of a laboratory. Finally, Urahara noticed him, though Ichigo didn’t really like the odd look sent his way or the wicked smile gracing those lips one bit - it meant trouble. The blonde moved to where the teen lay sprawled on the floor.
“Are you alright, Kurosaki-kun?” asked the shopkeeper eying him from head to toe, grin never leaving its place.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered from his place on the floor. He took his time looking around taking in the destructions the explosion made, “Though I can’t say the same about this place. You should’ve been more careful with that funny-looking mixture of yours.”
Urahara produced his fan out of nowhere and Ichigo couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the dumfounded look on his lover’s face when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to hide his wolfish grin behind the fan, as it was damaged and as soon as Urahara tried to open it only the handle was left in his hand. The expression Kisuke wore was priceless, his eyes wide and lower lip jutted out as if he was about to cry. But it didn’t last long much to Ichigo’s dismay - the blonde shopkeeper shrugged, threw the fan away with nonchalance and acted as if nothing happened pulling his hat down a bit to cover his eyes. “It’s not my fault you distracted me.”
“Like hell I did!” the teenager scowled, “All I did was stand there and watch what you’re doing, so don’t blame your failures on me, you mad scientist.” Though, maybe he did swing his hips in that particular way that always drew Kisuke’s attention and leaned on the table nibbling on his little finger as he feigned interest in whatever it was Urahara was working on this time. Those little things that would surely send Kisuke’s mind into a one-track trail of thought, without anyone really being able to blame him for it. “Anyways, what were you trying to make? A bomb?”
“Well, not really. I found this new recipe for chocolate on the internet the other day and I wanted to try it out.”
Ichigo’s jaw dropped.
“You’re joking, right? You don’t really think I’ll believe something as absurd as that.”
“But I’m telling you the truth, Kurosaki-kun. Your disbelief hurts me.”
“Yeah, right.” Urahara flashed him a sweet smile and started wandering aimlessly through the destroyed laboratory. Glass shards, burned or half-burned sheets of paper, pieces of wood that had once been a chair - Kisuke took in the damages without much of a scowl, completely unfazed. Ichigo supposed that explosions were a quite common occurrence in Urahara Shouten. Though that didn’t explain the secretive smiles the pervert sent him every now and then. “Is there something on my face? A third eye maybe?” asked the teenager getting a bit annoyed by the blonde’s strange - well, stranger than usual - behavior.
“No, there’s nothing wrong in the way you look.”
The choice of words made the orange haired boy arch an eyebrow, but he didn’t question his lover further. He let out a frustrated sigh instead, and ran a hand through his hair, a few stray blonde strands obscuring his vision. He supposed that sitting sprawled on the ground wouldn’t help clean up the place, so he should probably stand up already and….
Wait a minute. Blonde strands?
Ichigo caught a few strands of hair, a bit too aggressively maybe as it made him wince in pain, and brought them before his eyes. His hair got longer and…
Blonde.
Blonde as in exactly the same shade of pale sunny blonde Urahara’s hair was.
”Wha-?”
“Is something wrong, Kurosaki-kun?” Kisuke was again standing a step away from the teenager.
Ichigo looked up at him, his eyes wide in shock and well, horror.
“Why the fuck is my hair blonde?!”
“Oh?” Urahara’s face stayed unfazed.
“Don’t ‘oh’ me you bastard. What the hell did you do to me?” He could of course check it himself, but he didn’t dare to look down on his body to check the... damages.
“I didn’t do a thing. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Kisuke.” Ichigo shot his lover a glare, the tone of his voice threatening.
“Well… this wasn’t in any way what I intended to do, but I have to say the result is… interesting.” Urahara scratched the back of his neck grinning sheepishly. “It seems that the mixture somehow changed your appearance. And…”
Trust Kisuke to make a dramatic pause.
“And?” Ichigo pressed.
“And you look exactly like me.”
What the fuck?!
“No way!”
“Yes way, I’m afraid.”
“Change me back. Immediately.”
“I don’t know how.” Ichigo just looked him in the eyes, his gaze hard and frigid. “I mean yet. I don’t know yet. But I will soon.”
“How soon?”
“I just need to make some tests. Take some samples.” Urahara twirled his cane idly not really looking at Ichigo.
“Then hurry up. I don’t wanna be stuck looking like this for the rest of my life!” There was no way in hell he’d go home looking like this!
“Don’t you like how I look?” Kisuke feigned a pout.
“You know damn well that it’s not what I’m talking about. Don’t change the subject.” He tried to stand up, but since his body was bigger now he didn’t use enough strength and fell back on his ass. Rubbing the abused skin and trying to ignore Kisuke’s not really suppressed chuckle he continued, “Stop laughing and start working on turning me back to normal.”
“Well, if you really want me to.”
“Yes, I really want you to do something about this." Ichigo pointed all over himself. "And I’d be incredibly happy if you started ‘doing something’ right this instant.” The teenager huffed.
“So… first I’ll have to do some tests and calculations.” Kisuke lowered himself to a crouching position. A smile plastered on his lips though his eyes weren’t laughing, eyeing the boy, calculating.
“Hurry up then.” Ichigo didn’t catch the change in Urahara’s demeanor, before it was too late and he was lifted up and over the shopkeepers shoulder.
”What the fuck!”
“Calm down, Kurosaki-kun, or I’ll drop you on the floor.” Urahara carried him out of the laboratory and headed towards the back of the Shouten, to his bedroom.
“What are you doing?!” Ichigo never stopped struggling.
“A check-up.” Kisuke smacked his butt playfully at what the teenager squeaked. And you must know that it was a very manly squeak. Or so he claimed.
“Check-up? What for?” They were in Urahara’s room already, Ichigo facing the futon as Kisuke turned around to close the door. An ominous ‘click’ resounding in the room as they were locked inside.
“I need to examine you and see how exact the change is.” The blonde pervert laid Ichigo on the futon carefully. “First, we need to get you undressed.” And that wasn’t really much of a problem since his clothes were more or less torn due to the explosion and just as much because of his body getting bigger. He took off Ichigo’s shirt and pants without much protesting from the orange head, but as soon as his hands strayed towards the young man’s boxers they were swatted away.
“Hey, get your hands off of there.” Ichigo scowled.
“I’m just wondering if you look exactly like me.”
And before the Substitute Shinigami even had a chance to react his hands were tied above his head with Urahara’s shash Kisuke's own hands busy with roaming on his chest as he straddled Ichigo’s hips.
“Damnit, Urahara, stop! Let go of me you fuckin’ perv!” Ichigo tried to move, throw the bastard off of him, but Kisuke didn’t even budge. Not even when the orange haired teen moved his hips upwards, their groins meeting and Ichigo could feel the blonde’s growing erection. ”I can’t believe this is turning you on!” The orange head blushed wildly.
Urahara didn’t say a thing busying himself with shedding off his own haori, his hat thrown to the side followed by his shirt.
“Now this should be interesting.”
---
"So when will the effect wear off?"
They were still in bed, Urahara tracing lazy patterns on Ichigo’s chest as he lay on his side beside the teenager. The boy in question was quite exhausted from the hours that Kisuke spent on examining his changed body. He had to admit that he’d never came as much and hard as he did today, all thanks to the perverted shopkeeper who knew exactly how and to what his own body reacted. He didn’t even have it in him to berate the blonde. Not at the moment at least.
"I think that you'll be back to normal in a few hours."
"You think or you know?"
Urahara smiled lazily.
"I know."
"What am I supposed to do trapped in your body for another bunch of hours?"
"Well, I might have an idea," the blonde leaned in and nipped on Ichigo’s earlobe. The teenager rolled his eyes at the comment, but played along.
"Oh?"
"I could teach you a thing or two about my body.” Kisuke murmured in his ear, his voice suave. “Where and how to touch, what I like, what drives me crazy."
"You did it on purpose, didn't you?" Ichigo scoffed trying to play hard to get, though he’d lie if Urahara’s offer didn’t go straight to his groin.
"Did what?" Kisuke mumbled against his neck.
"Change me."
"And what would you do if I said I did?"
"... I suppose I can kick your ass later. But first..." Ichigo pushed Kisuke away and in a flash settled on top of Urahara straddling his hips. He leaned in until their lips were almost touching and whispered, "Teach me."