Baroquen part 4
This is a long one, hoo boy. After all this time with tiny glimpses at the actual plot the game suddenly vomits up exposition in the course of 15 minutes.
The pictures for this one turned out exceptionally blurry, so I'll write out what is said underneath the picture.
For starters, I cheated an looked at the FAQ. There's a lot of things that are VERY unintuitive about this game and it's a real shame because otherwise I would wholeheartedly recommend it. Not that I don't recommend it, I just do so with the disclaimer of 'you have to play it because it's different; read the FAQ.'
The FAQ, while almost as unintuitive as the game, did say that I could get different dialog if I shot everyone with the Angelic Rifle aka the Shiny Super Weapon of the game. The reactions were mostly boring, except for Longneck.
He flips the hell out and the question of 'does his neck bend' is answered. He carries on moan-screaming for a REALLY long time, and the whole time he flails his head back and forth. Granted, he knows that the bullets for the gun are canned cherubs because this game makes NO SENSE, but he still overreacts.
Anyway, on with the hunt. Archie's pretty ticked at Tag since he's died by the fifth floor about six times in a row. This is mostly due to the fact that success in the dungeons rests upon what random three items you get at the ground floor; if a sword is included then you're usually pretty good, if not, then you die. A lot. However on this run it gave me a really good sword with high attack that also raises defense. So I finally get places.
Insert requisite 'Tag is compensating for something' comments here. I mean, it's no buster sword, but that thing is still unnecessary.
Also, I found another Koriel. To rehash, the Littles are the cherubs that Longneck bulletified.
Koriel: The Littles sometimes tell us things other than pain. They were the ones to tell us of your ability to purify.
I still haven't seen any actual purifying. All he does is hit things with swords, and given that they're just laying all over the place it doesn't seem as though it requires any special skill, except maybe being dumb enough to go into the tower in the first place. So whatever you say Mr. Koriel Number Ten.
Koriel: The early distortions of the world must have been the Archangel's work. We should have realized earlier... oh well. Purify me.
Archie's been blaming the whole state of the world on Tag since the beginning. SEEMS THAT'S NOT THE WHOLE STORY. Also an interesting note is that this Koriel is very different than No. 4, who we met and killed earlier. 4 was very frantic where 10 is much calmer and kind of indifferent. It's interesting that they spent the time to give different characters to each Koriel even though they only show up for two lines and then you kill them.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE is that the Koriel refers to his baroque crystal as his water. I already knew that the Pink Ghost's pure water was one of these crystals thanks to the FAQ, but what is someone who doesn't cheat going to do? I only stumbled into the Koriel by accident, and even with this information the process of getting this baroque is INSANELY NOT OBVIOUS. But more on that latter.
Speaking of the Littles, every so often they fly at the camera while vague unsettling sounds play and you hear their thoughts through angle brackets.
Littles:
it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
leave leave leave leave leave
murderer murderer murderer!
They say a few different things, but it's the same general vein of pain and the sounds that comes with it really tugs at the heartstrings. No wonder Longneck is so suicidal over turning these guys into bullets for the super gun.
This was an attempt at getting a picture of one of the monsters. They're actually based off the tarot card deck. If you want to see decent pictures of their distorted deck then you can see all of them at the Baroque Website.
This is the Jerryrom, representing the Hermit in the deck. It's VERY annoying because it can confuse you and then it blows itself up when you can't steer Tag away from it. USUALLY they're knee high. When I ran into this one I gave up on killing anything and just ran blindly for the exit, actually using the Angelic Rifle for once to kill the damn wall meta-beings that block passages.
That was the 15th sublevel. When I get down to 16 everything is all distorted.
THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL
I went around for a good five minutes being paranoid because I wasn't running into any monsters. Finally I remembered that the FAQ said this was the second to the last floor and so I stopped making Tag walk so slowly and lose his vitality. That is another thing, this game requires heavy exploration but you're penalized for doing so since vitality decreases, and once you're out of vitality you start losing health. I guess it's offset by the fact that Tag can die as much as he wants but still...
BTW I found the consciousness orbs. That mechanical looking thing I've pictured before was one, and this one that looks like a sun is another. They only take one item on each run. I tossed the Koriel's crystal in so I'd have it on the surface.
Then I find THIS THING which is terrifying and communicates with very disquieting noises. Like the Regirock in Pokemon and yes that thing scares me to death.
The icing on the cake is the fact that it's called "Cherub.'
Anyway it is apparently some sort of security because it gives Tag clearance. When I try to hit it it gets pissed off and knocks me back, but otherwise all it does is say 'OKAY YOU CAN KEEP WALKING DOWN THIS UNBLOCKED HALLWAY WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME' except in less words.
The plot vomit starts with the next picture. ARE YOU READY?
REALLY?
Okay you asked for it
THAT IS A BIG DAMN SPIKE
So Archie's just kind of hanging there, and now that he has Tag in person he starts an avalanche of blame game.
I missed a couple frames, so I'll summarize what's missing in [square brackets].
Archie: That's right. This is my state. Due to the Blaze, no, should I say the anger of God. You drove the Absolute God insane [and she took it out on the world and on me. Great going genius.]
My bracketed sarcasm is pretty much on par with the tone of Archie's voice. He's laying it all on Tag. I would really like to know how one man could drive God insane to this extent. What the hell did Tag do?
Anyway...
Archie: [Enter the consciousness orb and go to the bottom floor.] The lunatic Absolute God is there. Purify her. That is the way to heal your sin. That is the way to save the world.
I spent a good ten minutes looking for this orb before I realized that the spiky thing impaling Archie WAS the orb. In order to enter it you have to keep walking at the invisible edge of the platform for about 25 seconds.
NOT INTUITIVE GUYS.
WHOOMP
So now Tag's at a depth of -999999 cubits. Why are we using cubits? I have no idea. I'm not sure how many miles 999999 cubits add up to but this is probably the planet core or something.
As I completely fail at taking pictures.
Archie: Can you hear my words? I am talking to you through the consciousness orbs. [Shoot God with the Angelic Rifle to purify her.]
You know, usually when you have a goddess she's associated with nature and she doesn't do anything bad. The closest I can think of a goddess screwing up is in Zelda where Din keeps choosing Ganon to be her champion. Usually if you have an insane god they're male and it's something along the lines of Kefka where they just obtained god-like powers.
Well, however she got her powers she's here now.
The Absolute God: You have no "past" to control you. I have no "pain" to control me. So, don't get near me. You'll go crazy.
Well, here we are. She's the absolute god, who is also bonkers, and she doesn't want Tag to get near her. Archie told tag to shoot her, however in my mad dash past all those irritating monster walls I used all five.
If I didn't read the FAQ then I might have never figured this out. If you shoot her then you get more dialog options, but you still have to come back down to the bottom and then fuse with her. You do this by walking at her for about 25 seconds, like with the spiky portal. The first person to figure this out must have been going at a last ditch effort to do something by making Tag go crazy and make things interesting.
You get no clue that you've fused with her, either, at least not at the point I played to. YOU DON'T KNOW TO DO THIS. BAD GAME DESIGNERS.
So the screen blacks out and we get a cutscene, which is actually pretty weird because the only cutscenes we've had were the two at the beginning to set things up.
NOW, ARE YOU READY TO TRIP THE HELL OUT?
Yup, it's still a penis.
And then, completely unexpectedly...
TAG SPEAKS.
This is the first time in the game you've heard his voice, and let me tell you, it's a good thing. I don't know how the casting people could get all the NPCs right, down to the two line Koriels, and then completely botch the main character's voice. He's as whiny as Tidus! WORSE! I didn't know that was possible!
I'm still reeling from Tag opening his mouth and then
There's another Tag up on the tower. He's dressed in a shirt that isn't a rag and a coat that I don't think I've seen yet.
And then ground!Tag and tower!Tag have this short conversation.
Uh...
And then he just HURLS HIMSELF OFF THE BUILDING WTF
Ground!Tag tries to catch him, but tower!Tag turns into sparkles and dissapears.
Then ground!Tag says
I THINK IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT
And then I got the timing wrong but the tower appeared to explode. I think I'm flashing back to the last two episodes of Eva this thing is so trippy. Not quite Eva levels, granted, but it's trying.
THEN
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?
I throw my hands in the air and give up on the game making sense. I'm off to the Bag Kid to retrieve the Koriel crystal, which I take to the Baroquemonger.
BM: Knowledge... protection... a sanctuary...
Well you're a big help.
Then I'm directly off to Coffin Man.
Coffin Man: I don't need this. Holding on to someone else's Idea Sephirah just makes me depressed.
Note: Idea Sephirah is the same thing as a Baroque, and for some reason they use it more often than Baroque. It seems that the title of the game would come up more often.
Sentry: I thought you looked familiar. You're one of those Koriel members. I don't want Koriel crystals or anything like that.
I really wish we knew what the hell the Koriels did. I assume some sort of uprising or movement against Archie. Maybe they put him on the spike and then Archie ordered them into those coffins via the orbs? I have no idea.
BUT OH, THE BEST IS YET TO COME
This was said in a tone like a mother telling her husband that their child has colored on the wall for the millionth time, at the point where there's no tooth to the irritation, just a long suffering sighlike quality to it.
Coffin Man: Tch. Longneck went and buried himself. He gave up on living. What an idiot. Who cares about the past?
Longneck went and buried himself.
WHAT
WHAT
I think that WHAT pretty much covers my feelings for the game at this point. And the FAQ said nothing about this so I was as blindsighted as anyone.
LONGNECK'S REASONS?
Longneck: I have no right to live on this earth. But, I find peace in living in the earth. Can you give me a heart seed? I'm a bit hungry.
Okay so the guilt over shredding baby cherubs to make bullets made you feel that you didn't deserve to live ON the earth, so you decide to bury yourself IN the earth?
WHAT
Anyway he asks for a heart seed and Tag has none. I know from the FAQ that you can get the same result another way...
Kicking him to death! Which doesn't seem enteirly deserved. I guess maybe Tag is channeling the pain of the Littles' in revenge or something? Anyway, by kick or by heart seed, Longneck then dies. After he disappears his baroque floats up and Tag collects it.
ON IT
Ooooookay
Are you two comparing notes or something?
The Baroquemonger was so useless I didn't even bother taking a picture.
ON TO COFFIN MAN!
Coffin Man: Whoa, whoa! If I look at that, I'll want to bury myself! The hell I need that! Please, just get that goddamn thing away from me!
This is the only time he sounds actually fearful. The closest he got before this was being creeped out by Horny's indecent behavior.
I think this might have actually been a continuation of his initial 'Longneck's buried himself' dialog. The timeline gets fuzzy in here.
Coffin Man: If you keep on living, something good might happen. [Longneck]'s so stupid. Now who am I going to badmouth? Tch.
Okay, now this is why I love Coffin Man, aside from his apparent lewd thoughts that he himself is creeped out by. He's an optimist and then some. The world has exploded, half his body has gone gray in his transformation, and he's still happy as rain.
Coffin Man: I tell ya, I can't bury myself here. I have something I must do... I gotta make the best dungeon in the world!
And he's driven! He has a goal and he seems to genuinely like the work. He is awesome and probably about half of the reason I like this game is due to his presence.
Anyway Tag finally gets back around to Sentry.
Sentry: Longneck's crystal is saying that if you bury yourself, you can live a straight life...
Oooooooooooooooooooooookay. He says this like it's a moment of great enlightenment for him or something, too. He keeps the Baroque and Tag moves on.
And next on the ex positional vomit buffet, the topic of Tag and the brother that he apparently killed and/or played chess with.
Bagged One: "Why are you separating us? I don't want to continue living with a piece of me gone."
Well, my first thought here was conjoined twins but that didn't seem to mesh right.
Horny: It hurts. It hurts. Why can't we live together?
I think it's a sign as to how far into fandom I am that my first thought here was "I'm glad this isn't mainstream because there would be a MILLION Tagcest fics."
WITH ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY it's time for Tag to throw himself at the tower again!
I already went to the bottom of the tower. We had a chat over tea. Is that spike affecting your memory?
More Littles.
And another crushing blow of unintuitive.
I've been to the bottom of the tower and all Archie can say is HOP TO IT WHY AREN'T YOU BACK THERE YET? I still need Pink Ghost's pure water, which is a baroque of some kind. How do I get to it? Anyone have any guesses?
I let the fish at the first floor kill Tag, per the FAQ's instructions.
Longneck's Baroque is floating at his usual spot, I guess in case the player uses it to attack one of the surface fish.
AND THEN
WHAT okay you know I don't even care anymore
Horny: Screams! Fear! Death! Sin? What is this memory of sin?
Again with this sin nonsense. What the hell did Tag do?
The bagged one has also joined the latest fad.
Bagged One: The Sentry Angel had said, "Is that Longneck's crystal? Can I see it? I want to know why he buried himself."
How did she even do that? She's all bound up straightjacket like in that bag. Did Horny help her before burying herself or something?
The Baroqumonger, Bag Boy, and Coffin Man are not crazy... well, are not the same flavor of crazy, and so they're still above ground. I take the cue from the Bagged One and check up on the Sentry.
Uh...
Sentry: I tried... copying him... And I buried myself...
He's kind of in massive amounts of pain here, probably because the ground is PAVED WITH STONES AT THAT SPOT. Also I had no idea he was that skinny under his robe.
I kinda feel bad about this. I mean, Sentry seemed like a good guy who was just trying to do his job. He didn't deserve... whatever this is.
With Sentry apparently dead via self-bury, the door to the lab is open and unblocked.
Let me assure you, there's even more WHAT to be had inside. Oh you have no idea. But it'll have to wait until next time.
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME?
The pictures for this one turned out exceptionally blurry, so I'll write out what is said underneath the picture.
For starters, I cheated an looked at the FAQ. There's a lot of things that are VERY unintuitive about this game and it's a real shame because otherwise I would wholeheartedly recommend it. Not that I don't recommend it, I just do so with the disclaimer of 'you have to play it because it's different; read the FAQ.'
The FAQ, while almost as unintuitive as the game, did say that I could get different dialog if I shot everyone with the Angelic Rifle aka the Shiny Super Weapon of the game. The reactions were mostly boring, except for Longneck.
He flips the hell out and the question of 'does his neck bend' is answered. He carries on moan-screaming for a REALLY long time, and the whole time he flails his head back and forth. Granted, he knows that the bullets for the gun are canned cherubs because this game makes NO SENSE, but he still overreacts.
Anyway, on with the hunt. Archie's pretty ticked at Tag since he's died by the fifth floor about six times in a row. This is mostly due to the fact that success in the dungeons rests upon what random three items you get at the ground floor; if a sword is included then you're usually pretty good, if not, then you die. A lot. However on this run it gave me a really good sword with high attack that also raises defense. So I finally get places.
Insert requisite 'Tag is compensating for something' comments here. I mean, it's no buster sword, but that thing is still unnecessary.
Also, I found another Koriel. To rehash, the Littles are the cherubs that Longneck bulletified.
Koriel: The Littles sometimes tell us things other than pain. They were the ones to tell us of your ability to purify.
I still haven't seen any actual purifying. All he does is hit things with swords, and given that they're just laying all over the place it doesn't seem as though it requires any special skill, except maybe being dumb enough to go into the tower in the first place. So whatever you say Mr. Koriel Number Ten.
Koriel: The early distortions of the world must have been the Archangel's work. We should have realized earlier... oh well. Purify me.
Archie's been blaming the whole state of the world on Tag since the beginning. SEEMS THAT'S NOT THE WHOLE STORY. Also an interesting note is that this Koriel is very different than No. 4, who we met and killed earlier. 4 was very frantic where 10 is much calmer and kind of indifferent. It's interesting that they spent the time to give different characters to each Koriel even though they only show up for two lines and then you kill them.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE is that the Koriel refers to his baroque crystal as his water. I already knew that the Pink Ghost's pure water was one of these crystals thanks to the FAQ, but what is someone who doesn't cheat going to do? I only stumbled into the Koriel by accident, and even with this information the process of getting this baroque is INSANELY NOT OBVIOUS. But more on that latter.
Speaking of the Littles, every so often they fly at the camera while vague unsettling sounds play and you hear their thoughts through angle brackets.
Littles:
it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
leave leave leave leave leave
murderer murderer murderer!
They say a few different things, but it's the same general vein of pain and the sounds that comes with it really tugs at the heartstrings. No wonder Longneck is so suicidal over turning these guys into bullets for the super gun.
This was an attempt at getting a picture of one of the monsters. They're actually based off the tarot card deck. If you want to see decent pictures of their distorted deck then you can see all of them at the Baroque Website.
This is the Jerryrom, representing the Hermit in the deck. It's VERY annoying because it can confuse you and then it blows itself up when you can't steer Tag away from it. USUALLY they're knee high. When I ran into this one I gave up on killing anything and just ran blindly for the exit, actually using the Angelic Rifle for once to kill the damn wall meta-beings that block passages.
That was the 15th sublevel. When I get down to 16 everything is all distorted.
THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL
I went around for a good five minutes being paranoid because I wasn't running into any monsters. Finally I remembered that the FAQ said this was the second to the last floor and so I stopped making Tag walk so slowly and lose his vitality. That is another thing, this game requires heavy exploration but you're penalized for doing so since vitality decreases, and once you're out of vitality you start losing health. I guess it's offset by the fact that Tag can die as much as he wants but still...
BTW I found the consciousness orbs. That mechanical looking thing I've pictured before was one, and this one that looks like a sun is another. They only take one item on each run. I tossed the Koriel's crystal in so I'd have it on the surface.
Then I find THIS THING which is terrifying and communicates with very disquieting noises. Like the Regirock in Pokemon and yes that thing scares me to death.
The icing on the cake is the fact that it's called "Cherub.'
Anyway it is apparently some sort of security because it gives Tag clearance. When I try to hit it it gets pissed off and knocks me back, but otherwise all it does is say 'OKAY YOU CAN KEEP WALKING DOWN THIS UNBLOCKED HALLWAY WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME' except in less words.
The plot vomit starts with the next picture. ARE YOU READY?
REALLY?
Okay you asked for it
THAT IS A BIG DAMN SPIKE
So Archie's just kind of hanging there, and now that he has Tag in person he starts an avalanche of blame game.
I missed a couple frames, so I'll summarize what's missing in [square brackets].
Archie: That's right. This is my state. Due to the Blaze, no, should I say the anger of God. You drove the Absolute God insane [and she took it out on the world and on me. Great going genius.]
My bracketed sarcasm is pretty much on par with the tone of Archie's voice. He's laying it all on Tag. I would really like to know how one man could drive God insane to this extent. What the hell did Tag do?
Anyway...
Archie: [Enter the consciousness orb and go to the bottom floor.] The lunatic Absolute God is there. Purify her. That is the way to heal your sin. That is the way to save the world.
I spent a good ten minutes looking for this orb before I realized that the spiky thing impaling Archie WAS the orb. In order to enter it you have to keep walking at the invisible edge of the platform for about 25 seconds.
NOT INTUITIVE GUYS.
WHOOMP
So now Tag's at a depth of -999999 cubits. Why are we using cubits? I have no idea. I'm not sure how many miles 999999 cubits add up to but this is probably the planet core or something.
As I completely fail at taking pictures.
Archie: Can you hear my words? I am talking to you through the consciousness orbs. [Shoot God with the Angelic Rifle to purify her.]
You know, usually when you have a goddess she's associated with nature and she doesn't do anything bad. The closest I can think of a goddess screwing up is in Zelda where Din keeps choosing Ganon to be her champion. Usually if you have an insane god they're male and it's something along the lines of Kefka where they just obtained god-like powers.
Well, however she got her powers she's here now.
The Absolute God: You have no "past" to control you. I have no "pain" to control me. So, don't get near me. You'll go crazy.
Well, here we are. She's the absolute god, who is also bonkers, and she doesn't want Tag to get near her. Archie told tag to shoot her, however in my mad dash past all those irritating monster walls I used all five.
If I didn't read the FAQ then I might have never figured this out. If you shoot her then you get more dialog options, but you still have to come back down to the bottom and then fuse with her. You do this by walking at her for about 25 seconds, like with the spiky portal. The first person to figure this out must have been going at a last ditch effort to do something by making Tag go crazy and make things interesting.
You get no clue that you've fused with her, either, at least not at the point I played to. YOU DON'T KNOW TO DO THIS. BAD GAME DESIGNERS.
So the screen blacks out and we get a cutscene, which is actually pretty weird because the only cutscenes we've had were the two at the beginning to set things up.
NOW, ARE YOU READY TO TRIP THE HELL OUT?
Yup, it's still a penis.
And then, completely unexpectedly...
TAG SPEAKS.
This is the first time in the game you've heard his voice, and let me tell you, it's a good thing. I don't know how the casting people could get all the NPCs right, down to the two line Koriels, and then completely botch the main character's voice. He's as whiny as Tidus! WORSE! I didn't know that was possible!
I'm still reeling from Tag opening his mouth and then
There's another Tag up on the tower. He's dressed in a shirt that isn't a rag and a coat that I don't think I've seen yet.
And then ground!Tag and tower!Tag have this short conversation.
Uh...
And then he just HURLS HIMSELF OFF THE BUILDING WTF
Ground!Tag tries to catch him, but tower!Tag turns into sparkles and dissapears.
Then ground!Tag says
I THINK IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT
And then I got the timing wrong but the tower appeared to explode. I think I'm flashing back to the last two episodes of Eva this thing is so trippy. Not quite Eva levels, granted, but it's trying.
THEN
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?
I throw my hands in the air and give up on the game making sense. I'm off to the Bag Kid to retrieve the Koriel crystal, which I take to the Baroquemonger.
BM: Knowledge... protection... a sanctuary...
Well you're a big help.
Then I'm directly off to Coffin Man.
Coffin Man: I don't need this. Holding on to someone else's Idea Sephirah just makes me depressed.
Note: Idea Sephirah is the same thing as a Baroque, and for some reason they use it more often than Baroque. It seems that the title of the game would come up more often.
Sentry: I thought you looked familiar. You're one of those Koriel members. I don't want Koriel crystals or anything like that.
I really wish we knew what the hell the Koriels did. I assume some sort of uprising or movement against Archie. Maybe they put him on the spike and then Archie ordered them into those coffins via the orbs? I have no idea.
BUT OH, THE BEST IS YET TO COME
This was said in a tone like a mother telling her husband that their child has colored on the wall for the millionth time, at the point where there's no tooth to the irritation, just a long suffering sighlike quality to it.
Coffin Man: Tch. Longneck went and buried himself. He gave up on living. What an idiot. Who cares about the past?
Longneck went and buried himself.
WHAT
WHAT
I think that WHAT pretty much covers my feelings for the game at this point. And the FAQ said nothing about this so I was as blindsighted as anyone.
LONGNECK'S REASONS?
Longneck: I have no right to live on this earth. But, I find peace in living in the earth. Can you give me a heart seed? I'm a bit hungry.
Okay so the guilt over shredding baby cherubs to make bullets made you feel that you didn't deserve to live ON the earth, so you decide to bury yourself IN the earth?
WHAT
Anyway he asks for a heart seed and Tag has none. I know from the FAQ that you can get the same result another way...
Kicking him to death! Which doesn't seem enteirly deserved. I guess maybe Tag is channeling the pain of the Littles' in revenge or something? Anyway, by kick or by heart seed, Longneck then dies. After he disappears his baroque floats up and Tag collects it.
ON IT
Ooooookay
Are you two comparing notes or something?
The Baroquemonger was so useless I didn't even bother taking a picture.
ON TO COFFIN MAN!
Coffin Man: Whoa, whoa! If I look at that, I'll want to bury myself! The hell I need that! Please, just get that goddamn thing away from me!
This is the only time he sounds actually fearful. The closest he got before this was being creeped out by Horny's indecent behavior.
I think this might have actually been a continuation of his initial 'Longneck's buried himself' dialog. The timeline gets fuzzy in here.
Coffin Man: If you keep on living, something good might happen. [Longneck]'s so stupid. Now who am I going to badmouth? Tch.
Okay, now this is why I love Coffin Man, aside from his apparent lewd thoughts that he himself is creeped out by. He's an optimist and then some. The world has exploded, half his body has gone gray in his transformation, and he's still happy as rain.
Coffin Man: I tell ya, I can't bury myself here. I have something I must do... I gotta make the best dungeon in the world!
And he's driven! He has a goal and he seems to genuinely like the work. He is awesome and probably about half of the reason I like this game is due to his presence.
Anyway Tag finally gets back around to Sentry.
Sentry: Longneck's crystal is saying that if you bury yourself, you can live a straight life...
Oooooooooooooooooooooookay. He says this like it's a moment of great enlightenment for him or something, too. He keeps the Baroque and Tag moves on.
And next on the ex positional vomit buffet, the topic of Tag and the brother that he apparently killed and/or played chess with.
Bagged One: "Why are you separating us? I don't want to continue living with a piece of me gone."
Well, my first thought here was conjoined twins but that didn't seem to mesh right.
Horny: It hurts. It hurts. Why can't we live together?
I think it's a sign as to how far into fandom I am that my first thought here was "I'm glad this isn't mainstream because there would be a MILLION Tagcest fics."
WITH ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY it's time for Tag to throw himself at the tower again!
I already went to the bottom of the tower. We had a chat over tea. Is that spike affecting your memory?
More Littles.
And another crushing blow of unintuitive.
I've been to the bottom of the tower and all Archie can say is HOP TO IT WHY AREN'T YOU BACK THERE YET? I still need Pink Ghost's pure water, which is a baroque of some kind. How do I get to it? Anyone have any guesses?
I let the fish at the first floor kill Tag, per the FAQ's instructions.
Longneck's Baroque is floating at his usual spot, I guess in case the player uses it to attack one of the surface fish.
AND THEN
WHAT okay you know I don't even care anymore
Horny: Screams! Fear! Death! Sin? What is this memory of sin?
Again with this sin nonsense. What the hell did Tag do?
The bagged one has also joined the latest fad.
Bagged One: The Sentry Angel had said, "Is that Longneck's crystal? Can I see it? I want to know why he buried himself."
How did she even do that? She's all bound up straightjacket like in that bag. Did Horny help her before burying herself or something?
The Baroqumonger, Bag Boy, and Coffin Man are not crazy... well, are not the same flavor of crazy, and so they're still above ground. I take the cue from the Bagged One and check up on the Sentry.
Uh...
Sentry: I tried... copying him... And I buried myself...
He's kind of in massive amounts of pain here, probably because the ground is PAVED WITH STONES AT THAT SPOT. Also I had no idea he was that skinny under his robe.
I kinda feel bad about this. I mean, Sentry seemed like a good guy who was just trying to do his job. He didn't deserve... whatever this is.
With Sentry apparently dead via self-bury, the door to the lab is open and unblocked.
Let me assure you, there's even more WHAT to be had inside. Oh you have no idea. But it'll have to wait until next time.
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME?