oneshot?: {Enigma/Empty Movement}
Title: Enigma/Empty Movement
Author: Monkey (or Person-san).
Rating: PG-13ish, but only because there's heavy symbolism.
Pairings: implied YamixYuugi. or not so implied. Whichever one works for you! "xD
Warnings: heavy symbolism, imagery, and figurative language -- perhaps difficult to understand. some OOCness. un-beta-ed, but it's only three pages. "xD
Spoilers: end-of-series-implications. and mention of Doma near the end.
Summary: It's difficult to explain their relationship. Perhaps they're like birds of a feather, or maybe as grand as the seasons, an everlasting cycle. To Yuugi, none of it really matters, in the end.
This is an experiment story! I'm tryng something new in my writing, and so constructive criticism is very much appreciated. It was really inspired from Revolutionary Girl Utena, so that explains the symbolism. I'm hoping the symbolism or metaphors can be understood. Some of it are explained in the bottom, but the less-than-obvious ones are for the reader to interpret.
Try to enjoy? ._.;;
The other me is an enigma. He is a puzzle with too many pieces to solve. Other me is not like Jonouchi, who pretends to be a jerk, but is deep down a gentle sheep. He is not like Seto Kaiba, who is ruthless and cold, only showing his gentler side to family. He's not like Anzu -- who is a straightforward good person, but finds herself stumbling and wronging as much as everyone around her. The other me is definitely not like me -- young, little, and meek Yuugi -- the little Yuugi-Yuugi.
The other me doesn't compare to anyone else. He is not like me; just another teen who's growing up in the world, walking down the street without any sense of fashion or flare. Other me is wise and old, reckless and young. He has an unspoken philosophy -- everything is a game, yet few things are for play. He thinks he's invincible -- he fancies himself a god, but then he stops to stare at me. Somehow, I remind him of his faults.
"You're so much like the spring," he says to me. He doesn't say this out loud, because then Jonouchi or Anzu might wake up, and think that they heard a ghost. True, though -- isn't other me a ghost? but no. He's too lively, too vivid to be a ghost -- his ego and character a tangible thing. It’s not like Jonouchi's fire, or Otogi's whispers, or Anzu's understanding grin. His soul is a gem or jewelry, shaped to appear like another piece of nature or flower, when really it's so much harder and harsher than nature. Though, the appearance is soothing.
It's so hard to create a perfect picture -- a perfect description of his soul. Yet he seems to describe me quickly, as if he remembered it by heart.
To him, I'm the Spring. I'm not an object, or an expression, or an element or poem's verse. I'm the Spring. The innocent but shifting spring. The coming of a new season, the downpour of life-giving rain and sunshine days. The cool and warm breeze, the light, fluffy clouds. Everything grows, but it all remains innocent. The sunshine, the happiness, brings a great beauty.
Though, to me, the best thing about Spring is the coming of Summer. Maybe that's what the other me is -- Summer. It's when vacation starts, when days grow warm and the sun embraces me. It's when rough rainstorms plummet the Earth, tickling and soothing the flowers and greenery that the Spring has grown. Summer is the time when personal growth overwhelms academic growth, when I could have fun. Summer is a place for play...just what games are for.
Summer is what shows the world what Spring has done. It takes away Spring's wallflower attitude, and courageously displays all of Spring's richness and beauty, all of it completely unrestrained. Then, the summer will add its own touch -- the brightest and longest days, the overwhelming warmth, the addictive energy from the sun -- and together, Spring and Summer will dance.
To the other me, the Spring is what makes Summer beautiful and worthwhile -- for the Summer could never grow such flowers and cool breezes. Its heated whether, it’s harsh rain, could never maintain such fragile beauty like Spring does. Though, to me, the Summer is what makes Spring special. It forces Spring to bare itself naked, but revealing it to be beautiful. It rips Spring's rain, dreary, drenched mask, and shows it's smooth petals to the world.
The other me exclaims, "Look who I have with me. Look who I have! Look at us. Isn't he beautiful?" But he's all mine, he says secretly, smirking. The Summer envelopes the Spring, and they become one. For the longest days are theirs' alone.
I once suggested that maybe Anzu was also like the Spring, Ryou the Fall, and Seto Kaiba would be Winter. He shook his head. "They are nothing so grand," he says -- not coldly or harshly, but calmly and lazily. Shrugging, he continues, "The Summer has only one partner, which is the Spring, and there is only one Spring per year. Only one."
* * *
He's wrong.
There is no year, no time, in the universe. The Summer and Spring, the Fall and the Winter, are reborn again and again in an endless cycle that won't last long enough to see the rest of the universe end. Though nothing is stellar, though everything is ever-changing, we're all just a speck of time, an endless and empty motion. That's all I am.
He is not the Summer. He is not the Sun. The other me is gravity and heat and force -- so much harsher than nature that it seems almost apart from it, yet that's all it is. I... I'm just there to see him through.
He's staring.
I smile back, hiding my thoughts. The other me continues to look at me, his demeanor seeming to say that he can see through my act of cheerfulness. What act? An empty movement changes yet is unchangeable. I am and will always be the cheerful and ignorant child Anzu labeled me as. I will always be the strong and naive fool Jonouchi thinks me. The other me will always call me his light.
Nothing is faster than light, yet the light chases after the darkness, always reaching, but the darkness is simply too large for the light to grasp. I will always be chasing after the other me, but whether he knows it or not, he will never stop. We are not partners. We're only here for a short while...unless the light -- aimless yet always on the move - reaches to grasp the darkness, hold it all. That will never happen.
So, I smile. The light shines and smiles, unaware of its own plight. The light doesn't think, never feels lonely, merely does what it's called to do -- to reach and never obtain. To hold and never grasp. To bid the darkness farewell while he's still here.
Let Anzu be the one to mourn the loss of the darkness, as well as be the first to have discovered it. Let her be the scientist -- always wanting to understand his matter. Let Jonouchi and Seto Kaiba be the astronauts who tread on his soul and keep him company. Let the light be forgotten.
It's all just going to end for me and my other. Yet, it will all continue afterwards.
"Partner." He tugs at the link -- like a child tugging at a mother's sleeve, like a husband grasping his wife's hair. Wanting attention, wanting Yuugi. I keep smiling -- for just this little, un-eternity-ful moment, he is the one reaching for me. My thoughts, ones I hide from him so that he cannot hear -- cannot berate me for, are always just within his reach, but never withing his grasp. That reach is in itself an empty movement.
"Partner...!"
"Hmm?"
"I...--! You..."
"Other me, look!" I say, turning my gaze to the sunroof above my room. "It's Summer already. Not a cloud in the sky!"
Summer and Spring...
"...Yes, partner."
Darkness and Light.
"I'm surprised, though. It didn't rain that much last Spring. Do you think it's global warming, or was it because of what Doma did?"
He seems to consider this. I pretend that I don't understand the look of uncertain comprehension on his face, that I'm ignorant and naive. A part of me feels so sad all of a sudden.
The life-giving rain is non-existent if there’s no water to evaporate. The cycle becomes stellar.
"Global warming," the other me nods. "All these little things...cars and such...everyone..." He stops himself, and I catch a frustrated look on his face before he turns away and feigns interest for my window.
Everyone, he thinks (and I can’t tell whether or not he knows that I can hear), gets in the way of the seasons.
* Some of the imagery and metaphor are inspired by Revolutionary Girl Utena -- especially the phrase "empty movement." Yuugi and Yami both have different views of their relationship. Yami wants and believes that their legacy will live on forever (just like Spring and Summer -- an everlasting cycle), but he knows that they will eventually be seperated. Yuugi knows this too, but thinks that he's just there to help Yami “climb the fence” - in other words, to die (as in the end of the series). So Yuugi's role is to help Yami move forward, but it proves empty when supporting their relationship.
** The whole "light and darkness" thing is sort of inspired by both Astronomy from freshman year, and the series in the History Channel, "The Universe." According to Einstein, the universe has no time. Earth "invented" time according to the sun and seasons. Yuugi compares himself to Earth (or the seasons) because he belittles himself in Yami's and his friends' lives. He also compares himself to light, unable to reach for the darkness (Yami), not because Yami's faster, but because he's too big (he's the true pharaoh, bringing change to everybody's life, might-as-well-be-superstar...) to really grasp. He compares Yami to gravity (also applying to how a large part Yami is to everybody -- the more mass, the more gravity), force (is what brings motion -- or change), and heat (is what brings devastating things to life). While Yami is all of these things, Yuugi can be the light, never able to really grasp or be with Yami (because he will eventually be the cause of his going to the afterlife), or he can continue to be the Earth and seasons -- there only for a little while in Yami's life -- an empty movement because he's not really doing anything, just continuing to be within himself, bringing life but only for a short, short while compared to the rest of the universe.
*** The rest is for the reader to interpret. Also, in the end of Revolutionary Girl, there's implied romanticism, wherein the two main characters break away from social opinion to be their own persons (sort of like breaking the "fourth wall"). This is probably what Yami's implying at the end. He and Yuugi have to keep the world safe, but it's ultimately wrong and impossible for them to stay and just be together...isn't it?