Marathon Memes
1. Confirm your identity: I'll mail you a stool sample immediately.
2. How many years have you been on the planet?: 36 as of May 9th. Wow, yikes! 36!!!
3. What are three phrases you use at least daily?: "Hey, pumpkin." "I love you." ...Some form of "fuck", frequently “OK, whatever, fuck nugget” while driving
4. Are you a survey addict?: No, I just like talking about myself endlessly and imagining people giving a damn about my worthless opinions
5. Do you have an online journal that you use regularly?: No, that’s retarded.
6. Are you one of those people that are constantly applying lotion and/or chapstick?: Nope, so better not kiss me or touch my skin or I’ll collapse into dust
7. Name any mental disorders you have been diagnosed with: Dysthymia in college, but by now I think it’s just transmogrified into laziness
8. Ever freeze anyone's underwear?: No, but I used to freeze my toys, and I was party to freezing someone’s flip-flop once.
9. Name one thing you only do/act like/wear/etc.?: Do you mean for me to “name one thing only I, among all the people I know, do/act like/wear/etc.” First of all, your grammar is teh suck. Secondly, that’s a ridiculous question…it’s not what I do, it’s the way that I do it that makes me me, so you’re asking me to sum up my whole personality in one phrase. Although, if I had to do so, that phrase would be “TOTALLY KICK-ASS”.
10. Would you consider yourself random?: I have decided to skip one question selected blindly…oh, look! It’s this one!
11. Do you have clothes hanging in your closet that still have the tags on them?: Not currently, but I have on occasion forgotten I bought a new shirt or something and left it in a bag for a couple of weeks. Finding it is like finding money in your jeans.
12. Do you doodle all over your papers/homework/books?: In my notebooks sometimes.
13. Do you write down phone messages/notes on your hands?: No. I’m a chronic hand washer.
14. What do you think of those Kidz Bop commercials?: WTF?
15. What CDs in your collection are you ashamed to admit you own?: I’m not ashamed of any of them…if I like it, I like it. Besides, a musician should listen to as many different types of things as they can. That said, I do probably have more than my share of crap. My copy of Poonanny Be Still! springs to mind.
16. Got any toe socks?: Uh-uh, though my toes poke out through some of my socks.
17. Do you find that you rub off on your friends more, or vice versa?: I think I’m generally unaware of any impact I have on other people…if anyone ever happens to reference something that I uniquely associate with myself, I’m usually quite surprised. On the other hand, I very rapidly co-opt things that I hear and see friends and people around me do without even being aware of it…familiar phrases, cadence and inflection of speech, even gestures. It just sorta happens.
18. What time is it?: 8:43am currently, but since I’m only on question #18, I imagine it will be 3pm before I finish this inane quiz.
19. Does anybody really know what time it is?: Surely someone must. Try calling Sevres, or if that fails, try 919-683-9696.
20. Does anybody really care?: If they don’t, then Seiko is fucked.
21. Who sings that song, anyway?: Chicago, waaaaay back, before they sucked
22. Do you untie your shoelaces before taking your shoes off?: Heh, not usually…can’t wait to be out of ‘em
23. Ever have random hallucinations?: As opposed to what, premeditated hallucinations?
24. Ever take your pet for a walk?: Pet? I can’t even keep my plants alive (and those walk too slowly for my tastes). But I like to walk elliedee’s silly dog Lulu sometimes.
25. Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry?: Yes. Usually myself.
26. How much do you sleep?: Not nearly enough, usually
27. Do you think staying at home and raising the kids is primarily "women's work"?: No…in fact, if all goes according to to what I visualize, I’ll be the one sitting at home writing music and watching the kids (in between rounds of GameCube).
28. What do you think about gay marriage?: I think there’s not enough love in the world now as it is, and it’s ridiculous to tell someone who they can and can’t love (as if anyone has a choice in the matter). Would you want someone to tell you you couldn’t marry the one you love? As to the religious yo-yos, my belief is that God revels in human love…ALL human love, not just that of white Christians.
29. Do blondes annoy you in general?: No, why should they?
30. Do you smoke?: Absolutely not.
31. Have sex?: Is that a question or a direct order? Not that I have a problem either way.
32. Yell at your parents?: Constantly. Well, mostly my mother, but that’s just how my family communicates.
33. Compete with your siblings?: No, not really…but I do notice when my parents visit her 5 times for every 1 time they visit me. OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration.
34. Think you got enough love as a child?: Yes, I think so; but I can always take more.
35. Listen to pop music?: All the time, though it’s rarely what’s popular now
36. Out of your own, what's your favorite lotion/body wash/cream/perfume/cologne/etc.?: Dr. Bronner's Almond Pure-Castile Soap, which has a very, very mild fragrance that I love. Plus, my Suave shampoo has an aroma of coconut, so I can leave the house smelling like a big Almond Joy.
37. Why do fools fall in love?: It’s not that fools fall in love, it’s that everyone acts a fool when they’re in love.
38. Why is the sky blue?: I dunno, but because it is it makes me cry.
39. Did you know that your metabolism slows down at night; so if you have a midnight snack you will probably gain weight in the morning?: Well, I guess the solution is not to wake up, or to sleep in until afternoon. (As if the weight suddenly appeared on you, BOINGGGG, the instant it became 8am.)
40. Are you going to have an open casket funeral?: I’d rather they used any of my viable organs for transplants, the rest for science, and cremated any remains to be sprinkled over Disney World from a helicopter.
41. Do you bruise easily?: Nope
42. Does death fascinate you?: Not really…I was frightened but curious when I was little, though
43. Ever dated someone five years older (or more) than you?: Yeah, I guess you could call it dating
44. Ever dated someone five years younger (or more) than you?: Yep
45. What's with all the black rappers right now having such terrible teeth?: Hey, fuckhead, I’m sure there are plenty of Asian and Caucasian or whatever-else emcees out there with shitty teeth and African-American emcees with pristine teeth, so what exactly in the fuck are you talking about?
46. What was the whole "rosebud" thing all about?: It’s a sled, kid…also supposedly William Randolph Hearst’s nickname for his mistress’ coochie.
47. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?: If I don’t outlive everyone, hopefully they’ll have to book the Rose Bowl.
48. Are you wondering why I'm still on the death thing?: No, there were enough stupid questions in between to distract me.
49. Who said this: "Death, taxes, and childbirth. There's never a convenient time for any of them.": I only know it was Scarlett O’Hara because I read gypsyariana’s answers for this quiz.
50. Have you ever contributed to someone's death?: Oh, God, I certainly hope not
52. What Hollywood celebrity annoys you the most?: Anyone who is either famous merely for being famous, like Paris Hilton, or who is famous merely because the studios chose to make a star of them, like Jessica Simpson.
53. What do you think about school?: It can completely make the difference in how the rest of your life goes.
54. Are you addicted to the internet?: Hmmmm…maybe so, I must admit. It sure is useful.
55. Do you have those little white vitamin deficiency marks on your fingernails?: I guess not, but my cuticles would make a manicurist cry
56. Dog person or cat person?: They both have their merits.
57. What do you take when you have a headache?: If I take anything, it’s usually either ibuprofen, or, if it’s from congestion (and with me it usually is), I take a decongestant
58. What's your alcoholic drink of choice?: Usually light beer
59. Is "settling down" a major priority for you (meaning; married, good job, spending your extra money on new curtains and mowing the lawn on weekends)?: Parts of that, yeah, but hell if I’m gonna spend my spare change on curtains.
61. Was "Beaches" as good a movie as everyone says it is?: I’ll never know…usually Bette Midler makes me gag. Besides, I’m still reeling from the lack of a question #60.
62. Physically, are you usually cold or warm?: I’d say warm.
63. Socially, are you usually cold or warm?: Usually, warm, I’d say.
64. Ever been so depressed that you don't shower, do the dishes, clean up anything, answer your phone or move from your couch for more than a couple days?: Uh-oh, does that mean I’m depressed right now? Mostly kidding…but yes, I have been like that.
65. When you hear the scientific term "the big bang", do dirty thoughts come to mind?: No, but I guess I’m not as desperate as you are. I have to admit, though, the Duran Duran song “Big Bang Generation” crossed my mind, but not first.
66. Do you ever walk by someone and they go, "How are you?" and you go, "How are you?"....and you keep on walkin'?: Yup, but it’s still better to have acknowledged the person at all.
67. Wouldn't you rather we all just avoid eye contact and not say anything at all?: Oh, no…that would be sad
68. Ever do volunteer work?: Sure, sometimes
69. Do you think community service should really be given as a punishment for criminals?: Actually, I think it’s a great idea
70. Do you shoplift?: Even if I did, why would I tell everyone?
71. Ever worked so hard that you cried?: Yes. In fact, I cried when the Three Quarter Ale album was done.
72. What if God was one of us?: Why not? I’ve already got tons of friends who are loving one minute, wrathful the next.
73. Who sings that song?: Joan Osbourne
74. Are you old enough to remember the commercial with little old lady saying "where's the beef"?: Sure. Her name was Clara Peller.
75. Finish this sentence: "My kingdom for a/an ________.": Were I King Richard III, I’d say “horse”, but since I’m me, I’ll say “cheeseburger, a beer and a day off”.
76. Do you remember the Care Bear craze?: C’mon, was it really a craze? They were popular enough, but it’s not like mobs were fighting over them in stores. Now, Cabbage Patch Kids…that was a craze.
77. How about when Oprah was fat?: Sure…then skinny, then fat, then skinny again…what’s she look like now?
78. Remember Pogs?: I do, and I thought the only thing stupider than the people collecting them were the teachers and principals freaking out over how these evil milk bottle lids were going to bring society to its knees.
79. Remember when that gymnast sprained her ankle in the summer Olympics, 1996?: Hm, only very, very vaguely. I love the Olympics, but I’ve missed the last several.
80. Remember what you were doing yesterday at this time?: Exactly what I’m doing now…wasting time filling out LJ quizzes.
81. Do you love shoes?: I think “love” is a bit strong…”appreciate”, sure; “occasionally like”, possibly; “use”, definitely.
82. What shampoo do you use?: Suave, usually something fruity, or one of those all-in-one shampoos with conditioner…plus, I’ve never had actual dandruff, but my scalp gets itchy sometimes, so I often will use a generic dandruff shampoo.
83. How do you feel right now?: Pretty good, but I wish I had a Danish
84. Do you let dogs lick your face?: Yes, but I can only endure it for about 2 full licks before I start trying to squirm away
85. Do you subscribe to Playgirl or Playboy?: Nope, just MacAddict and Electronic Gaming Monthly
86. What are you doing right now besides filling out this survey?: Thinking about today’s impending fire drill
87. What year were you born?: 1969
88. Do you rule that year?: Dude, I rool every year
89. Do you paint your nails?: Only after they’re flush with the surface of the wood
90. What's your hair length? Shoulder-length. (Which I guess means it’s as long as a shoulder.)
91. When did you get a cut/trim last?: Right before Ren Fest started…almost time to get it cut again.
92. Do you have hoity-toity relatives, or trailer trash relatives?: Both…well, not hoity-toity, really, but, like, they belong to a club and all that crap
93. Would you consider yourself to have an innovative mind?: Sometimes. Creative and clever, sure.
94. Has an old man/woman ever flirted with you?: Yes, but not so much old as much as just matronly types in general.
95. Ever written a survey like this?: Yep, but not nearly as long or poorly worded
96. Would you ever consider dating someone who'd been in prison?: I dunno, when do you get out?
97. Are you worth crying over?: Apparently, though I’d rather not elicit that reaction
98. Do you know anyone who's drowned?: Oh, my Lord, no. *knocks wood*
99. Would you rather have a one-on-one conversation or go to a party?: That depends on who the party or conversation would be with
100. Do you feel better after purging all this random information from your system?: If by “better” you mean “like you’ve wasted your morning”, then yes.
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DESCRIBE YOUR..
[ x ] Wallet - tattered hemp
[ x ] Hairbrush - full of hair that I wish had stayed on my head
[ x ] Toothbrush - pretty boring…my cool electric one is busted
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - bracelets if anything
[ x ] Pillow cover - mismatched (one’s a t-shirt)
[ x ] Blanket - purple comforter
[ x ] Coffee cup - my dark blue one with gold lettering that says “PROZAC”
[ x ] Sunglasses - Dollar Tree’s finest
[ x ] Underwear - um, dark blue boxer briefs today
[ x ] Favorite shirt - probably one of my linen shirts
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - None. I’m already using fragrance-laden soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant and toothpaste…how many more scents do I need?
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - there’s a mix CD in the car…the last song was Alison Krauss, I believe
[ x ] Tattoos - A couple of teeny cartoon eighth notes below my ankle
[ x ] Piercings - none
[ x ] What you are wearing now - Dark green v-neck fashion tee, black jeans, studded belt, black steel-toed dress shoes
[ x ] In my mouth - at once, you knave
[ x ] In my head - my brain, I hope
[ x ] Wishing - I were at home
[ x ] After this - food
[ x ] Fetishes - can only be excited by moronic internet quizzes
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? - I would never kill anyone, or even consider it.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - my dad
[ x ] Is next to you - the building’s emergency evacuation plan
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - see the Yamovie Quiz
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - finishing up this office gig
[ x ] The last thing you ate - some cold fried chicken last night
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - suffocating
[ x ] Do you like candles - Yes
[ x ] Do you like incense - only really nice, hand-dipped incense…that cheap chemical stuff gives me a headache…and I prefer woody, dark smells, not strawberry or some shit
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - echhhh, no
[ x ] Do you believe in love - absolutely
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - I believe they can be developed, yes
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - mmmm…to a degree, though I think true love takes lots of shared experience with the other person
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - Uh…gosh, do I? Not in the sense of it being an actual place with a big silver fence around it, or that we continue as individuals after death, no...but I believe in a certain cosmic energy. Boy, that sounds nutty on paper.
[ x ] Do you believe in God - Not in the popular anthropomorphized sense; but in the sense of all humans being connected by a force larger than any one person, yes. As my uncle puts it, “the human spirit as embodied in every rock, tree, and blade of grass”.
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - See previous inane quiz
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - self-sustaining
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - Uh, all night. What are you, an eight-year-old?
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - Yes, and pretty adroitly
[ x ] What's your favorite coin - the Connecticut commemorative quarter with the tree on it
[ x ] What are some of your favorite candies - Peanut M&Ms, Junior Mints, Hershey’s Chocoloate with almonds
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - that someone’s not bad just because they’re different from you
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - how to always be what elliedee needs most, in any given situation
[ x ] Who is someone that you really wish was still around - my grandfather…I wish he were here to see me playing the guitar professionally. Although I know he's watching me from somewhere.